tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48984174197406683482024-02-03T05:53:03.706-06:00A Broken SlateLindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.comBlogger230125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-9237662217849054032015-05-05T08:55:00.001-05:002015-05-05T08:55:33.701-05:00Bloom<br />
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Part of living overseas is that I have started to get a 1000
foot (or mile) view of my former life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In the midst of the struggles of living cross culturally I have been <o:p></o:p></div>
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A. longing for every crumb of spiritual food I can find <o:p></o:p></div>
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B. needing to protect myself from words that disguise
themselves as for my good but in reality bring shame, guilt or despair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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So, sorry facebook, though I love seeing every picture of
the friends I miss, I cannot stand in the midst of a world that looks like all
smiles: obedient and well dressed children, perfectly planned and executed
family activities and constant success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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And though I desire to know the 10 things I MUST say to my
daughter or the 7 things to NEVER do, I cannot bear the weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality I am only doing 3 of those best
practices but have limited capacity to tackle the others and of the 7
transgressions I am doing at least 3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
poor child has no hope of becoming a successful adult with emotional stability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Which
is why I desperately need her to know Jesus)<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know it can sound tongue and cheek when it is written this
way but I am more than half serious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am completely serious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I am weak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I am vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I fail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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And sometimes this seems to be the truest thing about
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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But… it’s not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There was recently an article floating around the web about
being STRONG.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Strong is the new beautiful for our daughters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I admit, though I already knew better than to be scrolling
around facebook, much less clicking on articles, I was drawn to the idea of a
different definition of beautiful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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There was a lot to like about this idea and much of it I
resonated with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I want my daughter to play in the mud (sometimes) and jump
from high heights and run with superhero speed and dream and play… with out
worrying about her hair or dress or being dainty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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As some one who always has and still does battle with body
image… I want so much more for my daughter. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I’m not sure strong is the word I would use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You see, I have just disclosed to you that I, her mother, am
weak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only am I weak in the ways I just described but I am
also physically weak… struggling with a body that does not work properly,
hormones that don’t balance, discs in my back that leave me with out the
ability to walk from time to time, an allergy to the sun and all other living
things and then the fatigue of living cross culturally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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And the thing is, I know I’m not alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have sisters/friends with many tiny
children in their home… filling them with delight and exhaustion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have friends with emotional and physical
disorders that disrupt their dreams and daily life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that in an instant you can hear the
words “cancer” and though you feel strong know that you are weak and that your
life is out of your own control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower
of grass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The grass withers and the
flower falls but the word of the Lord remains forever.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1 Peter 1:24-25<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes
like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone and its
place is no more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the steadfast love
of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting…”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalm 105:14-17<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Those of low estate are but a breath; those of high estate
are a delusion; in the balances they go up; they are together lighter than a
breath.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalm 94:11<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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“For you are a midst that appears for a little time and then
vanishes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James 4:14<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I want my daughter to feel strong… but more than likely
there will be days when she knows she is weak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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If I teach her that strong is beautiful, though she is fine
with her size and shape and features, she will once again be plagued with the
lie, <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“I am not beautiful… I am not good”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So, my sisters, friends, mentors, children… I want you to
bloom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span id="goog_119574090"></span><span id="goog_119574091"></span><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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When you cannot get out of bed, you can bloom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God can work in the midst of your weakness
and open up depths of beauty with in your heart and mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the midst of depression or deformity, the love of Christ
can bring out in you the beauty we so admire in a flower bursting forth in the
warm spring sun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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When we are in the saving grace of Jesus Christ our beauty
is secure and ever blossoming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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In the midst of developing wrinkles and skin disorders I am
confident that I will be more beautiful than ever because right now my spirit
is diving head long into the love of my Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He has taken me past what I can do and endure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am faced with the failure to be able to
accomplish my will and yet He has met me here in the mire and called lovingly
to me and I am lovely because He loves me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This is what I desire for my daughter to see and know more
than any other strength or aspect of beauty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I want her to fall in love with a God who loves her far more
deeply and passionately than any human can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I want her life to be changed from one glory to another as she grows in
relationship to Him and in His likeness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I want the same thing. <o:p></o:p><br />
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Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-45684890370108522882014-12-28T13:26:00.001-06:002014-12-28T13:26:57.211-06:00We Wish You A Merry ChristmasJoyeux Noël et Bonne Fête etc etc....<br />
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<br />
I haven't had the space to blog. <br />
I am sure I could carve out the time but when I put my foot on the gas I realize the tank is empty. <br />
Closed for the day...every day.<br />
<br />
To catch you up...<br />
<br />
November 2013 (wasn't that yesterday?)<br />
We packed up our entire life and moved from our favorite place in the world, Louisville, KY, back to our roots, Texas. <br />
We were so blessed to be able to live with family while we waited for apartment approvals and visas to come through. This ended up taking four or so months longer than expected. (SO thankful for those generous in laws that housed us that entire time!) This was a sweet season for us to have extended time with both sides of the family (Texas Our Texas....), friends from childhood and college. It was especially wonderful for Stella, and for us to watch her really bond with our family (she usually sees them 2-3 times a year for a few days each). I would not trade those months. <br />
<br />
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<br />
March 2014: The Big Move<br />
We finally nailed down an apartment and finalized our Visas and hopped onto a plane and the next thing we knew our lives were permanently changed. <br />
With in a week SJ started public school at the maternelle (like preschool but public... all children start the year they turn 3 and have 3 years in maternelle before going into first grade at 6yo). <br />
With in the month Drew and I were also in school and Drew was back at work (from home) and we were figuring out how and where to get groceries and sheets and lamps etc. <br />
It was a beautiful time. <br />
Everything was exciting and fresh and new. <br />
All of God's timing and work seemed to clear and so right and we felt safe with Him as our guide. <br />
<br />
It was also hard... mostly for SJ, which in turn was hard for our parental hearts. She did not adjust well to school (read: cried every.single.day) and making friends is quite hard for her even in the states. <br />
Then came summer, the end of school and the beginning of "The Sickness". <br />
I can laugh about it now but it didn't seem super funny then. <br />
We all seemed to get the "ick". Where you just don't feel right and you don't know why. Mild stomach issues for weeks and weeks, severe stomach viruses and strange fever episodes and "the.rash"... the head to toe, doctor stumping, 10-week-long rash that mysteriously took over every waking hour.. which was every hour, b/c sleep could not tolerate such itching. <br />
<br />
Consider the honeymoon cancelled. over. terminated.<br />
<br />
In all honesty, even though it was really rough, we still managed to have a pretty good summer and truth be told, still loved France and our new city. <br />
The fall was full of re-entry: back to working overtime, back to daily school for me and SJ and back to trying to parent the introverted english-only tantruming child. <br />
Add to that VISITORS! <br />
We had so many wonderful visitors in the fall, it was refreshing and draining. Prepping for the arrival of, then hosting in the midst of struggling through our own culture shock and daily duties, then the goodbyes and trying to re-find "normal" and help our child to do the same. <br />
Our family discovered that we do best with routine... our family also discovered routine is not to be found in living a cross-cultural life.<br />
And with a skip, a hop and a nap... it's CHRISTMAS and we've been here 9 months! <br />
(Pregnancy was truly easier. )<br />
<br />
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<br />
Hence the hiatus on the blog. <br />
After rallying the troops in the morning and getting SJ safely into her class and then walking down hill to my class (breaking my head open with French) and then up hill to get SJ again, lunch prep, back to school for Stella, walk to the grocery, figure out French groceries and lug it back, head to pick up SJ, make it home, get dinner ready and get child in bed... my brain is blank. <br />
A blinking cursor with nowhere to go.<br />
<br />
Also, I HATE to sound like a complainer... and sometimes at the end of a long day that's all I have left. But don't you feel like that too some days? Even in the states life gets HARD or dark or busy and some times at the end of it all you just need some one to decompress with who knows that all of the hard and dark and busy doesn't cancel out the answered prayer, the joy, the victories!<br />
<br />
So if you've made it to the end, whew, you are a champion. <br />
I'm hoping as this new year rings in to decompress a little here. Join me if you are so inclined. There will be exhausted rants and there will be stories of joy. <br />
That's how all true stories go.<br />
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<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-68216467392669257322014-10-09T08:27:00.000-05:002014-10-09T08:27:50.616-05:00Why We Keep On SingingBonjour! <br />
We made it (more on that another day). <br />
<br />
Now that I am in France I find myself disconnected. Disconnected from friends and family and disconnected spiritually. The spiritual food was free and free flowing in the land that I come from. Now I have to forage for my own food because even the places serving here are speaking a tongue my heart can't recognize (YET). <br />
<br />
So this new situation finds me a little more frequently in the land of social media. I am a little more inclined to read the articles that circulate on Facebook if they are posted from a trusted friend. <br />
<br />
The other day I found myself in just such a situation, reading a blog that was entitled Stop Singing Oceans or something to that effect. I have sung that song so I opened it up for a read. <br />
<br />
The author makes a good point that many people sing words in songs at church that they do not mean and that they never intend to follow through with. This is her main point and I have no argument with the need to search our own hearts as we come to worship and that the words we sing should mean something. <i> (What follows is not an argument against her thoughts but where my heart has taken me since reading. )</i><br />
<br />
Today I found myself thinking as I hiked back from class with my favorite Sojourn tunes blaring in my ears... what if I stopped singing every song that made me a hypocrite? What if I stopped singing the songs that were hard for me or that I had blatantly contradicted with my thoughts or actions? What if my struggle with fear and unbelief were put on a scale and weighed with the strength and passion of the words I sing?<br />
<br />
I would have nothing to sing. <br />
Sunday mornings would be mute. <br />
People with their heads bowed low in shame... or no people at all because their half hearted attempt was exposed... why waste time faking it if you can't do it right?<br />
<br />
We cannot do anything for God that He cannot do himself. <br />
We have nothing to offer.<br />
<br />
One thing I loved about Sunday gatherings is the idea that it is a time to remind ourselves of who we truly are. <br />
During the week you might do any manner of things that make you believe something about yourself... failure, weak, ugly, disappointment, selfish etc...<br />
You and I are people with acute amnesia. <br />
We need to meet together and remind each other of who we really are. <br />
<br />
We are children of the one and only God. <br />
We have been called and justified and LOVED. <br />
We are being sanctified, renewed day by day, forgiven. <br />
<br />
No matter how messed up you are, even if you can't muster up the strength to pretend you care, if you have been saved by the blood of Christ you can sing out. <br />
<br />
Maybe for only a millisecond you truly mean with your heart what you sing... God can. <br />
God can move you... even if you don't mean it!<br />
God is bigger than your passion or lack thereof. <br />
God is stronger than the clutch you have on your wallet, unbelieving boyfriend, identity. <br />
<br />
I can say this with confidence b/c look at where I am!!<br />
I prayed hundreds of times growing up that God WOULD NOT call me to overseas missions. Maybe this is because I felt the nudge or just b/c I was terrified to be taken so far out of my comfort zone... As I grew up I felt I had a say in my destiny and so I no longer felt the need to pray against such a calling. <br />
Then after years of struggling and uncertainty I opened my hands and in a short and simple prayer (not really even for myself as much as my hubs) I told God I was completely open, asked Him to reveal his will and I would go or do whatever. <br />
Ummmm... two years later I was moving out of my house and waiting for Visas to move to France. <br />
What the what?!<br />
<br />
So brother. Sister. Raise your hands and sing out. Open your heart as much as you can to your God. Ask the Spirit to help you. <br />
<br />
You won't do it perfectly. <br />
You will struggle to stay focused. You will be distracted by that girl's super cute cardigan or that guy's awesome voice or that missed keyboard note or the cold or the hot or your whatever....<br />
You can't worship right. <br />
You can't make yourself holy or presentable before the sovereign God. <br />
You just get to come in your rags and allow some one else to cloth you with their righteousness. Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-32026483885859247472014-02-25T13:46:00.000-06:002014-02-25T13:46:06.507-06:00Counting Down...For Real <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We have a date! <br />
Not the same kind of date we have had in the past... where we were hoping that by a certain day we would be able to go. <br />
More like we are actually leaving on this specific day! (Lord willing, of course)<br />
<br />
Our visas have arrived at the French Consulate in Chicago! <br />
This is the movement we have been waiting on for MONTHS!! <br />
Now, we will have to travel to Chicago to have a final interview and turn in the last bit of paperwork and then we should receive our Visas! <br />
<br />
Our teammates in Louisville are actually interviewing tomorrow and we should interview some time next week! <br />
Thus, they hope to leave by the 10th of March and we will follow on the 18th! <br />
<br />
It is hard to believe that this is real after so many delays and bumps in the road. <br />
It's hard to believe we are going to begin living in France in just a few short weeks.<br />
It's extra hard to believe our little SJ will begin French school only a week after we arrive!<br />
<br />
Our lives are about to be turned upside down and inside out!<br />
<br />
AND WE ARE SO THANKFUL! <br />
<br />
We are ready to jump in with both feet. <br />
<br />
Just as having a baby/child is WAY harder than being pregnant and yet you still yearn to deliver that baby after 40 weeks... we have been waiting and praying and looking forward to this new step even though we know it will be harder than we can imagine or prepare for. <br />
<br />
Please join us in praying for the weeks ahead and our transition!<br />
<br />
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<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-26215688281739043282014-01-20T16:48:00.001-06:002014-01-20T16:48:22.144-06:00At the RIGHT Time. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Guess where I am?<br />
In Texas.<br />
<br />
Were you getting excited, did your heart start to race thinking about us finally in France? We know how you feel, it's sort of disappointing right?<br />
<br />
At this point, our departure has been delayed at least four times. <br />
Four times we have begun to pack and say goodbye and four times delayed. <br />
<br />
Some times the delays are frustrating. For me, the first delay was the worst but once my expectations were broken down, each new hurdle is less and less surprising and therefore less upsetting. <br />
However, as the days tick on, though I am not distraught or frustrated, I am beginning to feel worn down and a little blah. <br />
<br />
Fundraising is a trial as well. We got off to a great start with very faithful family and friends. Then there was a lull and then another big push. Then, things seemed to come to a screeching halt. We would check our account and there would be no change again and again. We began to wonder what God was doing and how the rest of the funds would be raised but we also knew, there was basically nothing else we could do but wait on the Lord to provide. When you've asked every one you know, and every one they know and some people you don't even know... there's not much else to do. <br />
<br />
So we have been waiting. <br />
<br />
My sweet and godly Nana has reminded me over the last year that God ALWAYS provides but that often it is at the last minute, when we've stopped trying to do it ourselves, when we've almost given up. <br />
<br />
I know this is true but it's hard to grasp when you approach the end again and again only to get an extended stay. So when exactly is that "last minute" when God will act. <br />
<br />
So we have been waiting and praying.<br />
<br />
Oh man that sounds so godly and missionary-like... ha. And we have waited and prayed but we've also cried and gotten mad and stomped our feet and thrown up our hands. But after the tantrum, we still have to wait and what better to do when desperately waiting, than pray?<br />
<br />
Today the clouds seemed to part and God brought in some last minute hope! <br />
We found out that our remaining financial need is lower than we previously thought.<br />
We have made some amazing community here in TX and they have faithfully prayed for us and one of these couples is using their frequent flier miles to book all three of our tickets to France... saving us thousands of dollars. <br />
We also had word from the people who have our Visas that they will hopefully/probably/maybe be sent to the states THIS WEEK, which will enable the rest of our team to pack up and book tickets! <br />
We are anticipating a new launch around the end of the third week of February!<br />
We will be official leasers of a French apartment THIS WEEK! <br />
My health is slowly but surely improving. I am actually breathing out of at least half my nose right now! (chapped lips rejoice!)<br />
<br />
And to top off all of this wonderful news, it is 70+ degrees and sunny today and it's our first tantrum free day with the little one in over a week! <br />
<br />
As I have been reflecting on the lessons all of this delay has brought, a verse pops into my head...<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Romans 5:6 While we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly.</i><br />
<br />
I am so thankful to God for his saving grace and again and again He is showing me that I am still helpless and weak and that He does things at just the right time... His timing.<br />
<br />
So even though I am sure there are more bumps in the road ahead and more tantrums and delays... Christ died for me at the right time and continues to work out His plan for His glory in His timing.<br />
<br />
Praise be to God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-31672668893738673792013-12-10T13:40:00.001-06:002013-12-10T13:40:23.028-06:00When It Rains It...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pours. <br />
<br />
As I grew up I heard this phrase a lot. My "bad luck" was infamous among family and friends and still comes up as a joke quite a lot. <br />
When I married Drew he disliked this jargon. He was quick (and right) to point out that our lives are not marked by luck and bad luck and that God's hand is not to short to ordain each moment and day. <br />
<br />
Then in a class it came up again when the prof talked about how God will do everything and anything it takes to conform you into the image of Christ. <br />
<br />
I latched on to this idea and has brought me comfort in hard times again and again<br />
. <br />
This sucks... but am I looking more like Christ?<br />
This suck... but there is a loving plan. <br />
<br />
However, there are times when trial after trial comes and my faith begins to quiver. I begin to compare and complain in my heart. <br />
<br />
I struggle to see people who seem to have a charmed life with out bump or bruise (I know it's not pretty!). Things just go right for them. I can't understand why this seems to be true based on the every day evidence and yet doesn't seemed confirmed in Scripture that talks about God's love for all people and his plan in my personal formation. <br />
<br />
I want to feel his gentle love flowing over me in every moment but sometimes I don't.<br />
It doesn't mean it's not there... but I'm numb.<br />
<br />
So what now?<br />
<br />
I retrace my steps... back to the Bible and in an instant my heart is humble again, soft again, refocused on what truly matters... not others... but Christ. <br />
<br />
I am thankful that this season is all about focusing on Christ. <br />
It truly is a wonder to think about GOD coming as an embryo and then tiny babe in the womb and then born in a manger and raised by humans... WHY WOULD HE DO THIS?!? <br />
The only thing I can think of is love. <br />
<br />
Not because some one told me the answer is love but because it makes no sense otherwise. <br />
<br />
Why would he go to such lengths to save a hardened and sinful world. <br />
Why would he sacrifice himself for some one like me that struggles and sins in the same ways again and again?<br />
<br />
Love. <br />
<br />
And in that word, in that truth, there is a sigh of relief...<br />
<br />
<br />
____<br />
<br />
Please pray for us this season! We are on the cusp of leaving for France and many days it seems like if it can go wrong, it does! <br />
We need financial support, health, and a place to live in FR and the patience to wait for each of those things to unfold in their time. <br />
<br />
Blessings this Christmas.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-90242985243320603042013-11-02T21:54:00.000-05:002013-11-02T21:54:33.686-05:00SortingWhen we arrived in Dallas, a day later than planned, we dumped everything from the truck into the "front room". Boxes and bags hang over arms of chairs and lean on each other, creating a maze of chaos. <br />
We were able to extract the boxes full of kitchen spices, pans and food and load them up in the kitchen. (Yes, my mother in law is a patient patient woman... and I cook her dinner =) )<br />
Then you have our room, clothes and blankets and pillows spilling over and under every surface. <br />
<br />
Chaos.<br />
<br />
It is often said that the way we respond to those we love or events in life reflect our relationship with our Lord and Savior... they reflect where our heart is. <br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;">"For out of </span><span class="Highlight" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 2px;">the</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;"> abundance of</span><span class="Highlight" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 2px;">the</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;"> heart </span><span class="Highlight" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 2px;">the</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span class="Highlight" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 2px;">mouth</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;"> </span><span class="Highlight" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 2px;">speaks</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;">." </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px;"> (Matthew 12:34)</span><br />
<br />
As I began to see emotions bubbling out of my soul I started to try to look deeper and met with static. <br />
You know that fuzzy screen you got back when TV channels were turned manually and most of them didn't work?<br />
<br />
Just as my stuff is mixed and jumbled, so is my heart. <br />
<br />
Away from my rhythms and routine, away from all the things that make me feel like me, who am I?<br />
When I am not feeling on my mark and ready to sprint across the ocean, am I qualified to be a missionary?<br />
When my child doesn't like me and is struggling and my husband is stressed and overworked and I still respond poorly, how can I call myself a Christian wife and mother?<br />
<br />
Grace.<br />
<br />
Ah, breathe a sigh of relief here. <br />
<br />
When an angry mob, full of adrenaline and blood-lust rushed to Jesus and threw a woman at his feet, ready... wanting to kill her and trap him at the same time... what did he do?<br />
<br />
Pause.<br />
<br />
Grace.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">"Let him who is without sin among you </span><a href="" name="2" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7)</span><br />
<br />
Where are the accusers? Gone.<br />
<br />
Gone.<br />
<br />
I am not accused. <br />
I am loved.<br />
<br />
Just thinking about the peace and calm Jesus had during this exchange brings peace and confidence to my heart. <br />
This is the Jesus I am following and trusting. <br />
This is the Jesus I want others to know!<br />
<br />
I am blessed beyond words. <br />
<br />
I am so thankful for all of the blessings I have had in Louisville (and still have). <br />
I am thankful for a wonderful place to stay in the meantime and time to spend with family.<br />
I am thankful that even when life turns upside down, my Savior is there with peace and grace for my wayward heart. <br />
<br />
Today I sorted through some boxes, literally and spiritually and am feeling a little less chaotic. <br />
<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-31764029234150710342013-10-31T20:21:00.002-05:002013-10-31T20:21:26.982-05:00A Little Bruise<br />
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<br />
The day after driving from Louisville to Texas I bumped my knee and fell to the floor sobbing. <br />
Granted, I did bump it very hard and there is already a bruise, but I have a feeling the tears were not about the bump. <br />
I barely slept the night before, waiting for my daughter to wake up crying in the night, sweating through my clothes and not knowing where I was. <br />
I never sleep well the first night away from home. <br />
Then I woke up to a very needy and moody preschooler, who was ready for the day long before the sun. And despite this wake up call, I was still managing to run late for our new preschool appointment. It is twenty degrees warmer here than the home we left and thus I have nothing to wear... nothing that isn't packed in random, unlabeled bags and rashly packed boxes. <br />
So, it was sorting through just such a bag or box that I managed to totally abuse my knee and fall into sobs. <br />
Up to the day of our departure I shed nary a tear. I was happy, excited about our new journey. I was confident each of my amazing friends would stay in touch and continue our friendship (and still hope). I was amazed at the opportunities already being presented for us to meet people and get SJ into school. I was too busy to bother with tears. It was obviously the Lord! <br />
However, packing up our truck on that gray day was more sorrow-filled than I was ready for. But even then, in the hustle and bustle I only shed a few quick tears and then was forced to carry on. So, bumping that dreadfully boney knee was my first chance to let the flood gates open. <br />
In those five minutes of tears I mourned not seeing my fellow mom friend every day as we take our daughters to the same quirky preschool class. I mourned our fabulous fridays filled with other moms and their kids and the amazing fall weather of Louisville. I mourned my home with my kitchen and my room and my stuff organized my way. I mourned our amazing community church where we had been served and served. <br />
Then I got up, changed clothes...again, and headed out the door to begin our life for the next two months. Our life in-between two worlds. That weird blank page after the last page of your favorite novel that is between you and your next story.<br />
Despite all the bruises<span style="text-align: center;">, I am actually relieved to cry and let it out and admit that there is sorrow amidst the joy and excitement. I am praying we fill this blank page with meaning and memories and that there will not be a single page wasted. </span>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-77755043877401540872013-09-30T10:12:00.000-05:002013-09-30T10:12:32.384-05:00Four Weeks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We have four weeks left in Louisville.<br />
When I turned my calendar from September to October I just stood still in the kitchen and stared at the page. Black numbers with bright pink words dashed all around. How did we get to October and how is my calendar already full?<br />
<br />
October is one of my favorite months. <br />
<br />
Yes, I am weird and have favorite months and favorite days and favorite times of day etc. <br />
So, October is one of my favorite months because it represents all things fall. Pumpkins and apples are ripe for picking. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are everywhere. The wind is cool and the sun is warm. The days are shorter but still long. You may need a jacket and you can wear boots. <br />
We were married Sept. 30, which is basically October too! (Happy 7 to us! 7 is one of my favorite numbers!)<br />
October is also when SJ was born! So we will have a house full of wild princesses very soon.<br />
<br />
This October is special because it is our last month in Louisville for a long while. <br />
We are having a dance party to raise support for our mission.<br />
We are going to farms and fall festivals.<br />
We are having a going away party. <br />
We are having a birthday party.<br />
And in the mix, we are packing up our lives and moving.<br />
<br />
Random Praise Story:<br />
Friday I was having a hard day being a mom (I had no clue four year olds could argue and act sullen like 14 year olds!)<br />
So I was just about to call Drew and let him know about my day and ask for prayer and encouragement ... but first I needed to go to the bathroom and I could talk to him on my way to pick up SJ from school. Then PLUNK... phone into the toilet. SERIOUSLY?!?! What timing!<br />
I shot D an email and we both posted on Facebook that we needed a phone for the next two months.<br />
This quickly turned into a praise because 1. when I picked up SJ we were able to have a heart to heart moment and I was able to reverse my own attitude and enjoy some time with her and 2. had to rely on God more than others to comfort me in my need and 3. a friend of ours offered me her old iphone on loan!<br />
So after many years with only the most basic phone I am in the iphone world and what a world it is!<br />
----<br />
The reason this story is relevant is that one of the hard things about having so much going on is it is hard for me to keep up on the day to day. Last week alone I missed two appointments just because I forgot and was busy with other things. <br />
So now I can keep my calendar with me and add to it as things strike me... b/c they rarely strike me at home but weird places like pick up line or highway or line at the grocery!<br />
<br />
<br />
Quick Update on France and Funding:<br />
<br />
HUGE PRAISE!!! We are very close to reaching our full goal for our $45,000 launch fund!<br />
We still need $2000 in monthly support, which can also be viewed as approximately $24,000 in one-time gifts for the next year. <br />
<br />
To give: <a href="http://bit.ly/sojournlyon-lewis" target="_blank"> bit.ly/sojournlyon-lewis</a><br />
<br />
Another praise is that we have several options open to us for SJs preschool in the DFW area. This was something I had almost given up on and then all of the sudden several opportunities arose! I am happy we can keep up that routine for her. <br />
<br />
Please continue to pray for our financial support to come in. We are planning to leave by the end of the year.<br />
Please also pray for our team leaders who are already in France and recently found out a family member here in the States has terminal cancer. <br />
Pray for our other team members who are also raising support and raising two little boys at the same time!<br />
Pray for us as we move and pray for SJ as she makes several hard transitions.<br />
Pray for us as we parent her, we need constant guidance and grace. <br />
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Thank you for joining us on this journey!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-44942156635755019112013-09-16T10:42:00.003-05:002013-09-16T10:42:41.409-05:00Preschool<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well our not-so-little SJ started "real" preschool this year! She is on her fourth week today and I am amazed at how grown up she already seems.<br />
The first week of school she was a little apprehensive upon arrival but never really cried but just wanted to hold on to me. She was happy when she came out but obviously exhausted and emotional. <br />
The second week she would sometimes complain about having to go to school in the morning but then by the time we were dressed and ready she was anxious to go and happy and bubbly coming out.<br />
The third week was smooth sailing... other than forgetting her backpack twice! oops <br />
She got to bring a snack on Wednesday and the person who brings snack also gets to do show and tell, be the line leader and have special paint time. Needless to say, Wednesday was an amazing day and she continues to talk about it. <br />
I feel so blessed to see that she is happy and adjusting. <br />
At first I felt guilty and questioned our decision to send her. Was I being selfish? Was I neglecting her? Thankfully God was quick to speak to my heart (while I was mopping) and remind me that this adjustment is so small compared to the school adjustment she will have in France. We didn't put her in school so mommy could take a break, though it has been nice to run errands and clean house etc, but we enrolled her so that she would already be familiar with having to say bye to mom for part of the day and sit in class and participate and make new friends etc. I am already witnessing God preparing her heart!! The first two weeks she only talked with the friends from our church in her class, but now she has made a handful of new friends and knows their names! <br />
Her favorite thing about preschool is definitely the snack time. We gave up morning snacks this summer and she is overjoyed at the treat each school day! This girl loves to eat. <br />
Her least favorite thing are "the boys that break the rules". She is always telling us how they "break her heart" when they sin and disobey. So serious. <br />
We have noticed that our girl is no longer a toddler but an official big girl. She is so sweet and serious. She cracks us up with her humor and "good ideas". <br />
Her goals in life are to be a mommy and a big sister......and maybe a pilot, or a teacher or a dancer. <br />
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<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-7437156720440583272013-09-09T10:31:00.000-05:002013-09-09T10:31:03.101-05:00Long Time; Big Changes.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAhS9O8rybu9D255I8akPtg1FxabcBDQ5JhlbiQtkcMfu5S2hBh_5SjNI3r_usFIHTIV_-x-Pdd-BYg4-bb2_RviwcE5xRnuZF5WlQjSmU9Hj4t-SK-x-GUOL62WUHxwVjiRfeZRvYHgE/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAhS9O8rybu9D255I8akPtg1FxabcBDQ5JhlbiQtkcMfu5S2hBh_5SjNI3r_usFIHTIV_-x-Pdd-BYg4-bb2_RviwcE5xRnuZF5WlQjSmU9Hj4t-SK-x-GUOL62WUHxwVjiRfeZRvYHgE/s320/photo.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
(our team being commissioned by Greater Europe Mission)<br />
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I can't believe how long it's been since I last blogged. <br />
I think I am just now coming up for air since January (thanks to preschool mornings).<br />
So much has happened... so much IS happening. <br />
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In April we had training with our sending agency, Greater Europe Mission. They are a great organization that trains and supports missionaries on the ground in Europe. They don't contribute money but they contribute support (advice, counseling, training, team meetings/support with other missionaries) and strategy. They also enable people, LIKE YOU, to give to us in a tax deductible way! <br />
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If you would like to partner with us go to: <a href="http://bit.ly/sojournlyon-lewis">bit.ly/sojournlyon-lewis</a><br />
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They also taught us a lot about partner development... aka fundraising and that's what we've been doing ever since. <br />
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Greater Europe Mission and Sojourn Community Church have both officially commissioned us (along with our team) as missionaries to Lyon, France!<br />
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Back to the fundraising. We need approximately $5000 a month in addition to the salary Drew will be receiving. This is the basic minimum for a family in France according to several missions agencies(accounting for the 30% cost of living increase as well as the strength of the Euro over the dollar). <br />
We also need approximately $45,000 in launch funds to cover training and support costs with Greater Europe Mission (GEM), language school for a year, relocation agencies, and basic set up in our apartment. "You can't take it with you"...we are applying that principle to just about everything we own!<br />
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Since April we have met with people on average 5 out of every 7 days in the week in Louisville. We travelled through Texas during the month of August to see family and raise support. <br />
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Today we are thankful to be at 50% of our total need. <br />
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However, this is still 50% short of where we hoped to be by this date. Our original plan was to move to Lyon in July, but because of things on the business end of things we were postponed until October. Now we are having to postpone again until we can finish raising the support we need to live once we are there. <br />
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Our new launch date is January! <br />
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We will remain in Louisville through October and head back to Texas in November and stay until we leave for France. <br />
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Sad is not even an accurate word for how I feel about leaving Louisville. This is my home and I love this city. I love our church and our community. I am thankful for SJ's new preschool and all her sweet little friends. I LOVE fall in Louisville. <br />
However, I am happy to have more time with family. I am happy SJ gets more cousin time! I am thankful it won't be 100 degrees while we are there this time. <br />
I am also confident. I am confident this is what we are supposed to do right now. We were planning on saying goodbye to our Louisville family in October anyway and so this is not much different. I am thankful for the amazing renters we have to live in our home while we are gone. <br />
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Even though this was not our plan A, we are confident this is His plan! <br />
We are forgetting what lies behind and looking at what lies ahead! <br />
We are savoring all our favorite things in Louisville. Favorite restaurants, picking apples, watching the leave change, walking in all our favorite parks and spending time with our community and church. <br />
I am rejoicing that I will get to see another nephew brought into this world and get to see The Hunger Games movie! I rejoice that I will have a true Thanksgiving with my wonderful family and celebrate birthdays and Christmas with them one more time. <br />
God is so good. Even in the midst of major changes and uncertainty about the future, He reminds me of the joys I have ahead of me and the love He has provided both in Louisville and Texas. <br />
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Please pray for us through all these changes and please pray about partnering with us in financially support. <br />
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To give: <a href="http://bit.ly/sojournlyon-lewis">bit.ly/sojournlyon-lewis</a>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-19836570048659469072013-01-17T21:15:00.001-06:002013-01-17T21:15:57.170-06:001 Timothy 2:15And women shall be saved through childbirth...<br />
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I've never known what to think exactly about this passage and it has always irked me a little. I have heard pastors and fellow moms expound upon the meanings and I have looked up the commentaries and all that but never has it really meant anything to my heart until this week. <br />
My heart has been heavy to the point of breaking. Many tears have fallen and many prayers have risen. <br />
My daughter needs Jesus. And so do I.<br />
SJ has always been a serious child. I think this contributed to her colic as a baby. She is easily over stimulated and over whelmed by people and new situations. She likes formula, routine, consistency, rules. <br />
However, once we sort of figured each other out... somewhere between one year and 18 months, life with her was such a joy. <br />
She is terribly cute and funny in her seriousness and very communicative at an early age. We had normal girl drama and fussiness but up until her third birthday, toddlerhood was pretty easy. <br />
At the three year mark we started to get some of the stronger will coming out. <br />
Then, since my return from the most recent visit to France the tantrums began. However, they were few and far between until the past week or two. We could usually avoid them by avoiding situations where she might be overtired, overstimulated or over hungry... however, life is not perfect and predictable so even that wasn't fail proof. <br />
Since returning from Christmas, they have been every day, every bed time and many times in-between. <br />
For some one who is naturally compliant and sensitive, this is a struggle. <br />
When SJ hits me or screams in my face I just want to cower and cry. <br />
I am not saying this to say my nature is better than hers... absolutely not. I'm saying my weakness is perfectly fitted with her weakness to create quite the storm of emotion. <br />
However, once I hit the bottom of the parenting barrel, I looked up. Since then, I have been trying to fix my gaze on things above... on the One above who I desire to please more than SJ, Drew or even myself (gasp). I am fixed on the loving gaze of the One who loves my daughter right in the midst of her rage and who loves this mama right in the middle of her weakness. <br />
And each day I have felt His strength through me. <br />
The strength to not take every fit and act of defiance personally (though I still do sometimes).<br />
The strength to hold the raging child with peace and love and patience. <br />
The strength to remember to pray pray pray... and then pray some more. <br />
The strength not to give in to my self pity and depressing moods but to keep persevering.<br />
None of that strength is from me. I am not a boot straps person. I am a call the husband weeping in the car with a screaming child strapped in the back seat sort of person. <br />
I am a curl up in a ball and cry or watch TV until I forget person. <br />
Only in Christ is there any good, any chance of a glimpse of good parenting, any ability to love beyond what naturally pleases me or makes me feel good. <br />
And I have seen Christ emerging from me little by little day by day and then this verse comes to mind and I see Him saving me. <br />
Not that my salvation was in doubt until now but I see him making me look more like himself. I see the changes this struggle is bringing and hopefully will bring in the future. I see that with out this challenge... with out this hardest thing I've ever done called parenting thing... I would not have this growth in the same ways.. I would not taste the sweetness mixed with the bitter and sour. <br />
Today I am encouraged that though I am one step forward and two steps back with my toddler, than I am ever forward on my journey with the Lord and that HE IS FAITHFUL. yes.<br />
And He is LOVE.<br />
<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-88518252693733787892012-12-02T20:54:00.004-06:002012-12-02T20:54:59.025-06:00Trip to Lyon: Recap<br />
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Last month I was able to go with our team leaders to Lyon, France. We were the first "eyes on the ground" for the team and hoping to get a feel for the city and understand what it will be like to live there a little more. </div>
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Tuesday was a travel day for the team leader's wife and her five year old and myself. Our traveling was relatively easy and we all got to watch movies and catch a little sleep. I am so so thankful that we made all connections and our luggage made it with out a single issue. If you know anything about me and travel, you know this in and of itself is a miracle!</div>
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Wednesday we arrived in Lyon to find a local from Lyon (a business contact) holding our name on a sign. JP is a true gift from God. I am already hoping and praying for his salvation and for the ways our group can love and serve him in the years to come. He took us to our hotel, walked us all around downtown Lyon and even bought us dinner. He even had a toy tiger waiting for the little one in the car... this tiger was also to accompany us every where from then on (with out getting lost!). We should've taken pictures of all the places that tiger went. We were exhausted and stayed in a hotel and slept... a little too well. </div>
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Thursday we were to meet F_ at 11am to go to the apartment we were renting in Croix Rousse (CR)... we got a call from the front desk at 11 saying he was there... we were all still asleep. We threw on clothes and went to the apartment... which was amazing. Then we headed straight out again to walk the streets and see if we could find our way around some of the places JP had taken us during our travel hang over the night before. We did it. We literally walked all day. We managed to navigate the metro (we are all pros by now, including the littlest), and find a great cafe creme, kebab, and other treats... namely bread and cheese. We only got slightly lost trying to get back to the apartment in the dark... we were about a block away the whole time but couldn't get our bearings b/c we didn't know which way was North or South and everything looks so different in the dark! We found our way though and decided to eat in the apartment and get to bed. Team leader hub arrived that night.</div>
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Friday littlest was going to attend a local school but that didn't work out. We did get to go to the school for our area (CR) and meet with the head of the maternelle (3-6yrs old). She was super helpful and gave us a tour of the school. They go to the Opera and invite artists and singers in to teach the kids and put on mini concerts for the kids. There is a cute little gym and playground and really seemed like a great place over all. It is just a stone's throw from the actual elementary school and about a 10min walk from our apartment. </div>
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I personally felt really encouraged and overwhelmed here... though it was great and all, it really hit me hard that I would actually be sending SJ to school next year and lose so much time with her and not really be a part of her development as much. However, I was comforting that they seemed totally ok with kids just going for a half day for a while and gradually working up to a full day. She said they would meet with parents to help them know how their kid is adjusting. After this we walked some more and TLW (team leader wife) and I had an AMAZING dinner out on the town. </div>
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Saturday afternoon we met with a local pastor/church planter (American nationality but raised in Africa and France) and his wife (who is French) and their three boys (and one on the way). They were super friendly and talked to us a lot about transitioning and what their church is like. They highly recommended bringing furniture and everything from the States b/c it's so much more expensive in France... we however don't have a lot worth taking so TLW and I briefly mentioned maybe all of our team sharing a part of a crate thingy and splitting the cost. The wife talked a little about how there are not a lot of stay at home moms and that there is not a lot of community. This seemed specific for their church simply b/c every one lives far away from each other and far from the city center, so it is difficult for many to make the drive many times a week. Then you factor in kids and school etc etc and it's nearly impossible. </div>
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Their church meets Sundays for one service and kids stuff is during the preaching. They meet throughout the weeks in smaller groups that are in the process of becoming church plants. Not as much a community group as a church plant it seemed... wasn't really clear on how this looks and works out. It was a long long-term plan. The pastor was SO generous and obviously has a vision for his church and a passion for the people and for church planting. </div>
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After we met he took us up to the Basilica to see Lyon by night. It was amazing and sad to look over a city so beautiful and so lost. He gave us a complete history of Lyon and Christianity in about 30 minutes and it was heart wrenching for me. Lyon has seen a repeated cycle of Christian growth and vitality marked by tragic suffering and persecution. The Basilica was actually built to worship Mary. It's hard to think about if we are a part of a resurgence of the faith... will our children or even ourselves then be a part of the persecution. I'm not proud of this, but that scares me. </div>
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Sunday we went to the church. The main thing I will say is that the people were so warm and friendly. We had a couple of invites to meals from complete strangers and many offered to help us as we plan and prepare to move. There were a lot of N. Africans and a good mix of Swiss and French. </div>
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More eating and walking after...</div>
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While at this church is really hit me: we have to learn the language to survive. I was worse than a toddler there, I was a mere infant, unable to communicate anything more than a basic hello or goodbye and a friendly smile. It's hard not to feel stupid and embarrassed in these moments... so I am channelling all those feelings into language learning!</div>
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Monday we met with two pastors from Acts 29 Europe (who are in Paris) and another local church pastor. The pastor is Lyonaise but his wife is from Ohio. We chatted over lunch. I have no idea what the guys talked about but the ladies talked more about schooling and their church. They encourage small accountability groups between men and women (separately) and have community groups through out the week. They also have women's ministries just beginning at their church. They have two grown daughters and a grown son, all who were raised in Lyon. They all went to public school until middle school ish and then attended the international school. She expanded a little on the stay at home mom issue but said she really tries to promote it when she can. This is a much bigger church than the other but there were a lot of things about it I resonated with. They do not have many N. Africans but a good amount of West Africans and then a mix of French and a few other Americans. Then there was a lengthy convo with the Acts 29 guys.</div>
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As far as where to live...Lyon is divided into 9 arrondissements ... we (I think it's safe to say we) are still a little confused. The 6th is very beautiful and seemingly family friendly with wide sidewalks and easy access to the center of town and metros. I fell in love with CR, which is the 4th but it is on a hill and that could be really hard for a double stroller and/or new babies... but we're not ruling it completely out b/c it is more affordable than the 6th. We didn't love the 3rd but it was close to the churches we visited and cheaper still. 1st is downtown and super pricey. JP said the 9th and I think 7th or 8th are no good. Many families live quite a ways out of town but I think we agreed we felt a little stronger about living in the city and having better access to metros etc. </div>
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Thankfully JP has mentioned helping us find a good apartment (he was very protective of us ladies) as well as the pastors and other believers we met. </div>
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I'm sure I'm leaving out a ton but I hope that gives a grasp for some of what we did. In all that walking around we were pricing home goods and clothes etc too so we can have a better grasp for the cost of things ahead.</div>
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Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-61825728710631881232012-11-23T13:07:00.000-06:002012-11-23T13:07:39.715-06:00So Where Are We Now?So what do you do when the dust settles? <br />
What did Isaiah do after the coal touched his lips and he said, "Here am I, send me". <br />
After the angels receded and the daylight returned... what did he do next? <br />
Life keeps going, keeps ticking. <br />
Plans have to be made and planned and replanned and then executed. <br />
Something that I didn't expect was that it would be harder to start undoing all that we have been doing than saying yes to going. <br />
When we first came to Louisville, we didn't know a soul. Our first life-line to community was a random community group we were invited to. These were our first friends, our first church family in Louisville. I watched their babies come into the world, ate countless amounts of chick fil a, cried and laughed, celebrated holidays, babysat, learned to be a wife and a friend, dealt with conflict and watch the Lord call each of them away. <br />
All that to say, we "got" community. We really loved the vision our church had/has about living life in community scattered (community groups) and community gathered (Sundays).<br />
Soon we were apprenticing to become leaders, then we had a group of our own. For a few years that grouped morphed from a random group of college students, to singles, to newly married... all friends and all family. <br />
We love community group! <br />
Then we became coaches, the people who try and love and help community group leaders. <br />
We love seeing the Lord work in each of our community groups. We see immature Christians mature and flourish. We see people with out a vision begin to serve and sacrifice. We see a lot of love. <br />
All that loving takes a lot of time! <br />
It's hard b/c we are having to make time for new things: French class for all three of us, France Team Meetings, School of Missions, preschool, going through and getting rid of all our stuff etc etc...<br />
So we have to begin stepping out. <br />
But how do you step out of something you love and enjoy and where there is a huge need?<br />
So right now we are walking a very tight rope. <br />
We are trying to faithfully love and serve our groups and other ministries, while at the same time starting up and faithfully beginning this new journey. <br />
So, that's where we are. <br />
Busy... but full of good things. <br />
Stepping in and stepping out and needing a lot of grace to do both! <br />
Realizing that the journey ahead will have bumps in the road but that the mission is worth any pain!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-77103218921702451142012-10-26T14:41:00.001-05:002012-10-26T14:41:25.303-05:00I Can't Believe She's THREE!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Dear Stella Jane,<br />
<br />
Before I gush and tell you how much you mean to me and all the things I think are wonderful about you, I just want you to know one thing. If you forget everything else, remember this. <br />
<br />
I love you. <br />
<br />
This last year has been full of so much JOY! <br />
<br />
I am so thankful that I get to be a part of your life and see you grow and learn. <br />
<br />
You have changed from my baby, to my toddler, and now to my little girl. <br />
I still remember when I felt your first kicks inside of me and I couldn't even imagine who you would be or how much laughter and light you would bring to our family. <br />
I had no idea some one could be so like me and yet different. <br />
You are beautifully and wonderfully made inside and out. <br />
<br />
With every day and every challenge and every memory, I love you more and more. <br />
<br />
You are smart and curious and have a heart for other people, especially those smaller than you. I love watching you care for others as you share with out prompting or offer a gentle hug or kiss to a friend. You are always so concerned when some one is hurting or unhappy. It makes my days when you whisper you love me or that you want to be friends (sitting together) or simply hold my hand or take a hug. You are such a sweet girl. A true blessing. <br />
<br />
I pray that you would continue to grow in mind, heart, and strength and that you would use all of those things to love the Lord. <br />
I pray that you would know HIM more and have a heart that desires to love and serve Him each day. <br />
I pray that you will be a true light to this world. <br />
<br />
I also pray that I would be able to know you and speak to your heart as you grow. That you would always know I love you and love the Lord and that those two things shape the decisions I make each day. And though I will sin against you and misunderstand you, I love you so much and am so so thankful that God entrusted you to our family. <br />
<br />
I am thankful for you daughter. <br />
<br />
Love,<br />
MommyLindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-60936431760662021032012-07-30T15:28:00.001-05:002012-07-30T15:28:05.745-05:00Processing #6<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
If you are just now reading, I would encourage you to go back to Installation #1 and start reading at the beginning of the journey! <br />
<br />
Thankfully we were advised to take time and process the trip aloud with our spouse whenever possible along the way during our trip. <br />
The funny thing was trying to figure out WHEN to process. <br />
Maybe at 1am when we got back from dinner or maybe first thing in the morning? hmmm<br />
I wouldn't say that I love mornings but I wouldn't say that I'm not a morning person either. But for as long as I can remember, I do not talk in the mornings. I remember my mom and dad trying to talk to me in the mornings before band practice in high school and getting made fun of for my variety of grunts. Give me 30 minutes to wake up and get ready and then I'm perky and ready to go. But right when I wake up, please be quiet. <br />
One other problem we had was brain overload. Neither Drew or myself are the most outgoing or most introverted but we both felt over-peopled each day. Talking and getting to know people, while also taking in a new place every few days plus praying about difficult things going on back at home and then figuring out whether you feel "called" to move here permanently was a little overwhelming for the brain. <br />
So we did process a little together on the trip but mostly I just felt like my brain was in stunned silence. <br />
When we got back to the States I did my best to share with friends and family but I didn't feel like I could journal or really dive into any of it even on my own. My brain had switched off and wouldn't even let me in. <br />
After about two weeks, life was returning to normal and Drew and I had time to sit and talk and finally I felt like my brain was turning back on. <br />
To sum it up, we both loved France and felt like we really could see ourselves fitting in a place like that. We both felt the huge need that was there and desire to see people brought to Christ. <br />
Neither of us felt that we would be disobeying if we didn't go or if we did go at that point. We felt at peace to just sit and pray and ride out the process and see what happened next.<br />
Well, we didn't have to sit very long. Before we had even been back a month Drew was offered a job/internship with a new company. No promises were made but there were some really good possibilities that this company would be interested in sending us, along with two other families on our team to France. WHAT? <br />
This may seem small and insignificant to you but it was pretty huge to me. Over the last five or six years Drew has applied to COUNTLESS jobs. We didn't tell people most of the time b/c we didn't want to get people's hopes up and then have to tell every one we didn't get it... again. Turns out that was really wise b/c we didn't get any of them. Drew was #2 again and again... as I previously mentioned. We were open... we applied to Texas, Colorado, California, Kentucky, Indiana etc etc....<br />
So for Drew to basically put in no effort and then get offered a great job that wanted to possibly take us to France.. was HUGE! <br />
We had to wait a few weeks for Drew to finish well in his previous job... and to get a big quarterly bonus that will basically enable us to take the internship pay cut. That's right... pay.cut. As in, can't pay your bills cut. <br />
So there was a little bit of faith leaping in there too. <br />
So, we went from only mildly interested in our friends missions plans, to on a plane, to in France and now into a new job that Lord willing will have us in France fall of 2013. <br />
Wow. <br />
And did I mention that I have been praying praying praying that the Lord would give Drew a job where he could wear jeans and chacos? Well, this job does!! He would've taken it regardless of dress code but it is AMAZING to be able to dress casual to work... I can tell a difference already in his energy and happiness when he gets home from the new job. Today he even got to ride his bike to work! <br />
Now you are pretty much caught up on our journey thus far and I would love for you to continue to follow and pray for us as we ask God to do big things in the next year to take our team to France and then for more big things once we are in France. <br />
We will be doing language school, missions school, figuring out insurance, getting rid of most of not all of our possessions, preschool, and then normal church life and family life and trying to soak in all of our "lasts" over the next year. <br />
There is a good chance this blog will also be going private really soon... there are some that I know follow the blog that will be notified if a password is put up but some of you may read this from time to time and really want to keep stalking and I want you to... but you'll have to let me know how to get you the password. <br />
My main concern is not endangering any current or future missionaries and protecting our children from unwanted predators (they are all of course unwanted).Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-8693572003623202362012-07-12T22:42:00.001-05:002012-07-12T22:43:24.766-05:005 The Trip Two<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(Nimes, France)<br />
<br />
So we were loaded up and in the air, across the ocean and on new land. France! <br />
<div>
I have to admit that we were a little predisposed to like France. Here we had been traveling for a day.. inside a dark airplane full of recycled air and terrible food and no sleep. Then we were cooped up in the Paris airport, which was hot and cold depending on where you were and very dreary. Then we took a short flight (where we all miraculously slept for an hour or so) and came out in Marseille, full on sunshine and warmth. </div>
<div>
We crammed into a couple of taxi cars/vans and drove the half hour or so to our hotel with the windows open flying down the highway, watching the coast of the Mediterranean the whole way. Ah, fresh air and sunshine... two of my most favorite things in life! I am pretty sure I exclaimed "I LOVE this place" at least a few times in the first hour. </div>
<div>
We drove into the city and found our hotel right between two metro stops and among apartments and bakeries and banks and normal life. It wasn't a tall separate building but instead build right into an apartment-looking building. The only thing that made it recognizable was the neon sign and sliding doors. </div>
<div>
I was pretty freaked about our accommodations b/c I am TERRIFIED of bed bugs and Europe is infamous for them. We quickly discovered that this was a brand new hotel and that the assistant manager had become a believer through missionaries coming through like us. There was free internet, the rooms were AMAZING with a kitchen and huge bathroom and drying rack and organic tea and sugar!! Did I mention, "I LOVE THIS PLACE"?!</div>
<div>
So, despite long and uncomfortable travel, I was fond of this place right from the start. </div>
<div>
Then we met the missionaries and they were each so sweet and kind and easy to talk to and REAL. </div>
<div>
The fact of their life and our trip is that there is spiritual attack and they are waging war in what might look like a losing battle to the untrained eye! </div>
<div>
The day before we got there some of the Ms had been robbed of all their summer finances. Right after we got there the wife of the leader of the M team got really sick and then so did her daughter. </div>
<div>
However, despite many hiccups we settled in and got rested for the next day. </div>
<div>
The next day we scouted out a new area of town for them to distribute DVDs and other info about Christianity. We sang in a couple of parks and some of the ladies did free henna (telling Bible stories through their art) and we prayer walked and distributed DVDS with Bible stories. </div>
<div>
Later we were able to go to one of the Ms apartments to get a feel for real life there and they were really open with us about finances and life there, which was great for us since we were really thinking about what it would be like to live there with our family. </div>
<div>
Did I mention I fell in love with the Ms? </div>
<div>
I don't know what it was but they were all so wonderful and genuine and interesting. I loved hearing their stories and praying for their work and thinking about how our long term team might fit in with them, partnering to bring light to France! </div>
<div>
And we had amazing food. (that would take a whole new post)</div>
<div>
By late afternoon we were all bushed so they let us relax and take a ferry ride to a little island off the coast. We walked (some hiked) and put our feet in the Mediterranean. It was very refreshing. </div>
<div>
The next day was my favorite day of the whole trip. </div>
<div>
They told us to dress in our most modest outfits (we were already told to bring long skirts and shirts etc) and we went out to the North African market.</div>
<div>
It is a market that is only once a week and it's like you've walked into Africa. People are selling everything from trash to treasure on mats along the street and then you get into the actual market and it's teaming with N. Africans. </div>
<div>
Pretty much all N.Africans are muslim and many very conservative. </div>
<div>
So we broke up into teams of three and stationed ourselves along the entire street in front of the market and handed out DVDs of the prophets from the Bible. </div>
<div>
We handed out 800 DVDs in less than 2 hours. </div>
<div>
Our team rocked it out!! </div>
<div>
I was so so so nervous at first. </div>
<div>
I am not an in your face type of person and definitely not a solicitor. But they assured us this was normal and acceptable in this culture... even to be a little pushy.</div>
<div>
The first one was the hardest... who to ask first?</div>
<div>
Then I lept. </div>
<div>
I just jumped out of myself and found myself speaking our three little French phrases and passing out DVDs faster than they could keep me stocked! </div>
<div>
I only spoke to women and some humored me but some were actually interested. </div>
<div>
I prayed for every single person I spoke to and some that I didn't speak to. </div>
<div>
I prayed for the hands that received those DVDs and the children tagging alongside those long flowing skirts. </div>
<div>
It was a thrill and an eye-opener. What a see of deceit. </div>
<div>
The enemy has so many people completely blinded to the truth. </div>
<div>
Some of the teams even met open hostility while passing out. </div>
<div>
I know that the trip was not about me, but about helping these missionaries and encouraging them but man I was so blessed by this experience. </div>
<div>
To get outside of myself and feel the Holy Spirit working to give me courage and boldness and to prompt me to pray pray pray with genuine love for a people that honestly, I've always been afraid of. </div>
<div>
Those eyes, those hands.... they are human just like mine. </div>
<div>
They are sad or glad or mad or bored or excited just like the many people I pass in my every day life. </div>
<div>
That was Sunday so that night we led worship for the Ms at one of the local churches and heard from one of their pastors. He is French... not really born there I'm pretty sure he was Belgian or something by birth but has been all over and in France for a long time. More French than us for sure! </div>
<div>
His message was so stirring that if I ever had to pick a time I felt "called", it would be that sermon. </div>
<div>
The next day we went to Montpellier to meet up with a couple that had recently been sent through our church and the IMB and was still getting settled there. They were there with one other family and not much was established there for us to do. So we did a lot of prayer walking and exploring and it got cold and dreary and we got tired and over stimulated and more people got sick. </div>
<div>
The team leader of the Ms wife had to go in for emergency surgery and their daughter remained really ill and then the daughter of the leader in the second town was really sick and then the last day in the second place a guy on our team started to pass a kidney stone and got really ill and our plans continued to unravel and change every minute. </div>
<div>
Finally we stopped in Nimes on our way back to Marseille and it was amazing. There was a Roman colosseum and other ancient artifacts and places and it was so quaint and full of personality. But we were only there for mere hours. </div>
<div>
We also saw the full extend of segregation going on in France in Nimes. The French and North Africans basically live in two different cities right next to each other and they do not mingle and they both call it Nimes. It was overwhelming how huge the N. African part was and that there was no Christian presence at all. It felt dark. </div>
<div>
We spent one last day in Marseille, filling up on our favorite foods and pastries and helping the Ms get work ready for all their summer project teams and saying goodbye. </div>
<div>
Then we left at 3am and started the long long journey home.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-60239454067888214392012-07-09T14:19:00.003-05:002012-07-09T14:19:53.005-05:00Four: the Trip<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Deciding to go on the trip was relatively easy it seemed compared to the task of raising $6000 in support to go on the trip. <br />
$6000 is a lot of money... like two months of living expenses, a really nice vacation or several nice vacations, more money than I have seen in cash ever before! <br />
I really had basically no faith that we would actually be able to raise the money. None of our friends or family are rich and honestly we don't have a ton of friends to even ask! <br />
Thankfully our community group really called me out on my lack of belief. They encouraged me to ask boldly from the Lord and from others and to trust the money would all come together. <br />
So we took some family pictures, wrote letters, addressed envelopes, prayed and sent out about fifty support letters. <br />
The funny thing about the letters... there were people we knew had money or knew loved missions that we were pretty sure would support us and then there were other people that we just wanted to keep updated on what was going on with us, who we would be thrilled if they could give $10 or just prayer. <br />
However, when money started to come in, we were surprised over and over again at the generosity of people we never expected to give. Family and friends both sacrificially gave to our mission trip and I was humbled again and again. I can't tell you in words how thankful I was to the Lord for providing and to our friends and family for being so willing to join with us for this crazy journey. <br />
Another awesome fact of the fund raising is that we had one specific deadline halfway through and got just enough money right before it was due. Then there was a long period where we didn't get anything at all. We were thankful for reaching the half way goal and were prepared to use tax refunds or savings for the rest and then the week before the final amount was due people generously stepped up again and we met our entire goal right in time. Not a minute too soon but not a second late! <br />
I am still in awe of how good my heavenly Father is and that even raising this money was a part of His plan to help me trust in Him for an even bigger plan. <br />
We are also blessed with two sets of parents that helped us keep SJ while we were gone. They are true champions (though I think they would gladly kick us out to keep SJ any time). <br />
Leaving SJ was an even bigger fear for me than the money issue. However, SJ did amazing. We started talking about the trip just a few days before we left (we tried earlier but she didn't get it at all) and she was great with it and excited for her gparents to arrive. <br />
However, two night before the trip she started screaming in the mornings for her mommy and I was pretty sure that was her little mind trying to cope with mommy leaving and a little spiritual warfare mixed in too perhaps. It was so hard on my heart and then right as we were leaving she started crying that she wanted to go with us. My heart actually broke I think. I almost completely lost it and thankfully my mother-in-law stepped in to cheer SJ up about going to the park etc and so she was fine and then so was I. I figured I would lose it after she left but I didn't. My heart was totally at peace. I knew she was happy and loved and going to have a blast and I was so thankful to be on this journey with Drew. <br />
Praise God, she didn't wake up crying a single time while we were gone and never melted down for mommy or daddy but was then SUPER excited when we came back and was all love and cuddles for a few days. <br />
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So, we were paid up and loaded up and in the air... ready to meet France!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-16000620448956189312012-06-26T22:06:00.000-05:002012-06-26T22:06:12.867-05:00Scene Three<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
So, here we are, finally making a few new friends and whack... they hit us with the news that they are all (two couples really) planning to move to France in the future. <br />
Honestly, when Drew and I talked about this I think we both (but definitely me) really thought about just dropping these friends. Of course we would still be friends with them and do community group with them but we wouldn't really invest or dive in or seek them out for deep relationships, knowing they would just leave. <br />
But that didn't really work because we really liked these couples and we saw them on a regular basis and you couldn't help but become a little attached. We got to see each couple have a baby (or two) and then watch those little ones grow and change. Drew got to know one of them men better at work and then the guys started cycling together. They just weren't going away! haha<br />
I think a few times they mentioned to Drew, "you guys should just come to France" or something along those lines. But it was always with out any real pressure and mostly joking it seemed. So we just laugh, "yea...right.". <br />
However, we had also started talking about all of the opportunities we had had in the past and all those we hadn't had as well. Drew had been actively seeking out jobs in the Christian camping world and though in my eyes he is overly qualified and perfect for every position he applied for... door after door were closed. He seriously made it to #2 on a number of jobs and then they'd give it to some one else. Super discouraging. So, after a trip to the camp to talk to some people in person and still no open doors, we decided that maybe we needed to pick a new dream to pursue because it seemed God just wasn't letting us get into the camp world. <br />
Shortly after some discussions along those lines and more talks about dreaming big and trusting God, our church announced they were going to have several summer mission trips and that one of them was to Southern France. <br />
Hmmmm....<br />
We were just talking about maybe sort of slightly thinking about maybe seeing what it might be like to almost kind of look into what our friends were thinking about France.. maybe. <br />
So, what better way to check it out than to GO?<br />
But, no. <br />
We don't have that kind of money. <br />
We've always wanted to go on a mission trip but going to France seemed like a pretty lame place to go on a mission trip to (shows what we knew). <br />
Also, I'm not sure what I think about short term missions. <br />
I have friends (well I think they are my friends b/c I blog stalk them) who were missionaries in Haiti and they really talked about how short term missions can be a waste of money that could be put to better use and how they often are more detrimental to the people and culture than helpful. She is actually having a whole discussion about this now so check out Heather Hendrick in my blogroll. <br />
Then there was the fact that they were encouraging only future missionaries to go on the trip and we had noooo idea if that is what we would be led to do and we weren't even leaning one way or the other. <br />
Plus, we are goobers and not super spiritual, holy amazing missionary type. We are sin every day, barely remember to tell ourselves the gospel much less tell any one else... trying to survive people. <br />
Thankfully, we met with the guy who overseas missions at our church and was leading this trip and we were very upfront and honest with him about who we are and what are motives are etc etc. <br />
He straight up told us, we were exactly what they were looking for.<br />
I'd say their standards are pretty low but I will also say, I was flooded with a sense of peace.<br />
No one was deceived about who we are. <br />
We could be ourselves. Be real. And be accepted and welcomed on the short term team.<br />
So, we went from pretty positively NOT going on the trip to filling out a CRAZY LONG application overnight and turning it in at the last second of the deadline. <br />
Whew. <br />
So... we were going to France for 10 days.<br />
We had no idea what to expect from the place, the people or the trip but we were going completely open. <br />
We figured we had nothing to lose b/c at the very least we would know how to better pray for our friends going long term and we could encourage the current missionaries there. <br />
At the very best we might find God's next step for the plan he is working out for us.Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-75507945160388923652012-06-14T15:35:00.000-05:002012-06-14T15:35:20.660-05:00Numéro deux d'installation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbU3BoSlMiQ_26lUsPmmYo5oLPGspQlDqa4U1C0DcHwXfSr4tBXlktHhMMZUqR3ZFFVlGL4z4rQFEZ9CNeakejF3OWUyVmp23us1G2s_uwPhTCBYHjkeC2Ai6jBdNwNTa-D6xbqfM_xZI/s1600/IMG_3670.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbU3BoSlMiQ_26lUsPmmYo5oLPGspQlDqa4U1C0DcHwXfSr4tBXlktHhMMZUqR3ZFFVlGL4z4rQFEZ9CNeakejF3OWUyVmp23us1G2s_uwPhTCBYHjkeC2Ai6jBdNwNTa-D6xbqfM_xZI/s320/IMG_3670.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="213" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo-SPvc2HWl7jRCyhe27Yz-VOcN7jc7YSNAFn5VVoZFChqTaBeeWOGFA9mts35lcuVUpIGS4yiopeCvnKADMmZlFSN2P6EIJ1DcxusG63Nf7tMf_QfpiUyu4MrWx6junCExusdoJiT80E/s1600/IMG_3671.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo-SPvc2HWl7jRCyhe27Yz-VOcN7jc7YSNAFn5VVoZFChqTaBeeWOGFA9mts35lcuVUpIGS4yiopeCvnKADMmZlFSN2P6EIJ1DcxusG63Nf7tMf_QfpiUyu4MrWx6junCExusdoJiT80E/s320/IMG_3671.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="213" /></a>Woah... are you blown away? Installation number two already?!
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Now let's see where did we leave off? Oh yes, printers and printer friends. <br />
At this point I will back our story up a bit and come at you from a different direction. You know where we were with work but that is only a small part of our lives. <br />
The major part of our lives is/was community. <br />
We believe and strive for Gospel community. <br />
Right when we moved to Louisville and started attending Sojourn we were dropped into an amazing community group. These people were our home away from home. We celebrated holidays together, babysat each other's kids (for those that had them) and did life together. It was pretty easy b/c no one had a lot of kids and the kids were babies and most of us were working part time, going to school and/or staying at home. So we had time together. These guys were amazing. <br />
Sadly, our group got really large and we had to multiply and then didn't see each other quite as much. At the same time, people started graduating from Seminary and thinking about jobs and futures etc etc. A large part of the group decided to church plant in Texas. <br />
Hmmm... we are from Texas... we truly love these people.... maybe we should go too! <br />
We talked and fiddled our thumbs and talked and joked and ultimately, it just didn't work out. We were still so attached to our church and didn't feel ready to leave... and I was still in school full time here and south Texas wasn't really our number one ideal place to live (more like dead last). So we didn't go.<br />
To be honest, there have been multiple times that I look back on that and wish we had gone with those friends. But I am pretty confident that it just wasn't where we were supposed to be... though it would've been so nice. <br />
But we still had some of the group and were starting a group of our own and meeting new people and trying to make friends and it seemed like the more we tried the more people moved away. <br />
A couple of our dearest friends joined a church plant in the northeast and we considered that move too but in the end we found ourselves here... alone. Literally, we are the only people from that original group left in Lville.<br />
The next season was a long season of trial and struggle with friends and community. We were hurting and lonely a lot of the time but still leading and serving. Then a big trial came and knocked the wind out of us and then Stella was born. We didn't feel like we even had time to get our legs under us and we were handed this beautiful baby girl. We were so happy she was here in the midst of a long, hard season of trial. <br />
Then she started crying.... screaming really... and didn't stop for months. I think I broke.<br />
At the same time Drew took on an extra leadership position at our church and we were asked to lead as community group coaches. We didn't see it then but oh how clearly I see it now... we were crazy and needed to just say no! <br />
We kept pushing, through sickness, depression, loneliness and sad to say... despair. <br />
When we became coaches we were no longer a part of a community group but leading and helping the leaders of community group. So we had no one to lift us up it felt at times while we were bearing so many heavy burdens of others. <br />
THANKFULLY!! God is so so good to us. Though we were more than likely driven by pride and the need for approval (why else did we overload ourselves so much?) he saw our state and sent us some friends. Specifically he sent me a friend and mentor who was able to help walk with me through and out of post partum depression. (not to mention my fabulous OB who kept me sane with perspective)<br />
We stepped out of a lot of leadership and started working on getting back into community! <br />
Oh and Stella finally stopped screaming! whew.<br />
But it has been a long process. <br />
We finally found a few people like us, in leadership and lacking community and accountability and care and so we became a community group. We only met every other week and always have a meal. <br />
This idea caught on and more people joined our group and more people started groups like ours. <br />
A couple that joined in on the group was this friend (then more of an acquaintance) that got Drew the printer job.
Drew started to become friends with him (that sounds really girly... sorry dudes) and a couple of other guys and we started to hope we would find another close community... then one night we found out... they were all already planning to move to France. (cue clanging gong).Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-5395969049508814502012-06-13T23:53:00.002-05:002012-06-13T23:53:20.114-05:00Pictures to Match<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRDzbcDON9XrpLUC1LOSZJCuWhTK_PZABDJUHwHVHb_ObkjjrGi0y1lojMVvn3_d8hjN0rntKi-qplVKfjHZVO7hHh-s-BeEq_E5QLiy-Ysx5AyePitA_-175kkIrBs4k5me9OHtIXTs/s1600/IMG_3630.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRDzbcDON9XrpLUC1LOSZJCuWhTK_PZABDJUHwHVHb_ObkjjrGi0y1lojMVvn3_d8hjN0rntKi-qplVKfjHZVO7hHh-s-BeEq_E5QLiy-Ysx5AyePitA_-175kkIrBs4k5me9OHtIXTs/s400/IMG_3630.JPG" /></a>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYIQ7w2XFvFBM3gv6j6ZuYiAtZ2Zbj8IC0F5mKe0rYglDiSyP1KlURRn6LoV6Q6gW-5kq8bw68khgWL9POpT3G_3Ys5gOiySFwiImcQrpSz4eT-EwLz-7p_un21V2risnXd_2TNFiZIaA/s1600/IMG_3644.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="267" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYIQ7w2XFvFBM3gv6j6ZuYiAtZ2Zbj8IC0F5mKe0rYglDiSyP1KlURRn6LoV6Q6gW-5kq8bw68khgWL9POpT3G_3Ys5gOiySFwiImcQrpSz4eT-EwLz-7p_un21V2risnXd_2TNFiZIaA/s400/IMG_3644.JPG" /></a>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdyqGgehLAC2rNjL8RwexnYeK8nh_bpbKd45GAGfyltwPMUw5OlrYiI3YgCCRKbt1RrQEnU8leL3DRb7nCFgM5NGousnsZ88OagwrG2PWOPDpCKCFVjpLs3BpphAHqhcJTfe6fUJAZnSA/s1600/IMG_3669.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdyqGgehLAC2rNjL8RwexnYeK8nh_bpbKd45GAGfyltwPMUw5OlrYiI3YgCCRKbt1RrQEnU8leL3DRb7nCFgM5NGousnsZ88OagwrG2PWOPDpCKCFVjpLs3BpphAHqhcJTfe6fUJAZnSA/s400/IMG_3669.jpg" /></a>
I guess I was a little too long winded in that first installation... here are some of the views we had in France that I wanted to post with it....Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-86045845467409255382012-06-13T23:37:00.001-05:002012-06-13T23:37:08.871-05:00Bonjour!Here we are! Back from France... (sorry.. blogger won't let me add photos)
All I can think to say right now is: Wow.
Wow God.
Many of you who read this blog were also a part of the updates we sent out... or mostly Drew sent out. So I don't want to bore every one with the details.
Over the next few months this blog will more than likely be dominated by the word France.
I want to document all the Lord has done and will do as we journey through this France thing.
So for my sake, more than yours, I am going to start at the semi beginning and process this journey on the blog... it is also so that I can have this conversation with you all at once instead of repeating the whole process again and again b/c honestly sometimes I just can't share it all again.. it can wear me out! This way most of you who care will get the basics here and can then ask questions or for specifics as they come up! And if you know of people interested in our story you have a clear place to send them.
So... here we go... installation #1.
How far back do we go?
Once Upon A Time....
We have been living in Louisville for what will be six years this October. Louisville was a surprise... like the kind of surprise when some one gets you something NOT on your Christmas List but is the best present you got and just what you needed.
Who goes to Kentucky? Who wants to live in Kentucky? That's what we thought coming to this place. We will get some schooling, spread our wings and then we're gone.
But then we fell in love. We fell in love with four seasons and trees and the small town feel in the midst of a city life. Most of all we fell in love with our church.
So we settled down and prepared to stay. We have been holding our mouths open to the fire hydrant for five years... soaking up everything our church and community had to offer. Taking every class or training possible... trying to learn and grow in the gospel as much as possible.
However, in the midst of all of this amazing community and spiritual growth there was a big thorn. In order to stay in this city we love Drew was having to sacrifice every day. He worked for years at ERAC and I can safely say it was mostly miserable. The Lord totally blessed his time there and he was very successful in getting promotion after promotion and the Lord made it painfully obvious that that is exactly where he wanted Drew to be... but it was hard. It was long hours with little pay and even less respect. It was suits and ties and rules and regulations and paying dues to "the man" every day. It was hard. For the first few years we applied to other jobs in Louisville and every thing that seemed promising fell through. But we weren't really willing to leave and so we just stuck it out.
Then, in the last couple of years we finally felt like we could let go of Louisville if it meant Drew could have a job that was a better fit for him. So we applied and applied and absolutely nothing has worked out. That was maybe harder (for me at least).
Why God? What is going on? This is so unfair.
We have watched friend after friend get their dream job and yet we felt that our job situation was getting worse and worse. We prayed and prayed and begged God for a new job and a better fit... we will go ANYWHERE!
Drew finally got another job, by no means a dream job but at least fewer hours and we were praying for confirmation if this in fact was where we were supposed to go and then out of no where... right after Drew got the offer from the new job he was fired from ERAC...
Fired? WHAT?!?! They should be groveling at his feet for working two jobs for the price of one and always working hard when every one else slacked off and patiently waiting for that promised raise etc etc...
It was shady and unjust and unexpected and yet... so freeing.
I felt incredible joy the moment I found out Drew was fired.
I felt so secure knowing that God knew we needed an answer loud and clear that we were finally released from our time at ERAC...
So our time began at the new job.. selling printers. Not much more glamourous than selling cars but Drew got to see his daughter every day... a luxury he didn't have before and he had a friend at work who loves Jesus and went to our church, who we are even in community group with now... another luxury.
Little did we know.....Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-46285772179498447242012-05-04T19:21:00.000-05:002012-05-04T19:21:46.613-05:00FranceWell, our France trip is finally here. Not exactly but pretty much. We have every day planned between now and take off and so I know it will fly by.
Praise the Lord, the giver of all good things! We have officially been gifted the entire amount of our trip... that is $6000. I had a really hard time believing that we would be able to raise that much support. If that is the amount given in dollars.. I hope the amount of prayer given is ten fold! We feel extremely blessed by all of our family and friends who gave so generously and sacrificially. People we never expected to give gave over and above. We are truly thankful.
We will be flying from Louisville Airport to Philadelphia where we will get to see two dear friends during our layover. I am just as excited to see their faces as I am about going to France. Then we fly over night to Paris, France and from Paris to Marseille. We will spend three days in Marseille and then travel to either Nimes or Montpellier, where we will spend a couple of days and then head to which ever we haven't been to yet and then back to Marseille. We will be ministering to and working with several missionaries on the ground in that area as well as trying to meet with businesses and get a feel for the cities in order to report back to the long-term team that is hoping to move there to do business and help start churches.
I am so excited and yet with so many things to do between now and then it almost seems unreal. I still need to pack and do laundry and cook and clean and and and....
Most of all I am soaking up every single moment with Stella. We are going to parks and reading tons of books and eating all her favorite foods so that we can savor happy moments together before we depart. For her part, she could not be more excited for Susie, and Gigi and Gigi's Papa to come and stay with her while mommy and daddy are gone. We are planning to leave her some fun surprises too so she will know mommy and daddy are thinking of her and love her. Ten days is a long time. It hurts my heart to even think about it.
One major thing that caused a little hiccup for me and some of the other ladies is dress code. We were told knee length skirts with t-shirts would be fine and then it became long skirts with long shirts and what at first seemed like a million other details. This threw a big wrench in my getting ready mode. So, I've been sewing skirts and dresses and trying to find deals on long skirts (thank goodness they are in fashion right now) and I still have no clue about the shirt situation. I'm thinking t-shirts with cardigans just in case. I'm also trying to figure out what shoes to wear. I know it sounds trivial to care about clothing when you are going to preach the gospel but when all you are taking is a backpack for ten days... everything you pack has to be appropriate and durable and useful. We will more than likely be on our feet from morning til night so I also don't want something as silly as shoes to be distracting.
If you are praying for us please pray for our health as we travel. We have both had minor health issues lately but mine seem to be compiling. Currently I have a double sinus infection and a back problem.
Please also pray for Stella and our parents as they take care of her.
Pray for opportunities to share the gospel and boldness to do so with love and care.
Just pray for us!
I am so excited to get there and see what it is really like and see how the Lord moves through this trip!
And for your viewing pleasure... more pictures of the two and a half year old!
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTAFJRvwbOQDavqnz7oLm6oULyq7JtJIXZm1FWf_xbO7xY8wQx_TqiFiqRtvZQnHpJzGxJLtapMcWnspw4WfoTVXvgT7CwyKP_IvILB3lKv2FFqWg9jiPGRDN3wLtEUJaY8pFg9X9jNA/s1600/IMG_3576.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="349" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTAFJRvwbOQDavqnz7oLm6oULyq7JtJIXZm1FWf_xbO7xY8wQx_TqiFiqRtvZQnHpJzGxJLtapMcWnspw4WfoTVXvgT7CwyKP_IvILB3lKv2FFqWg9jiPGRDN3wLtEUJaY8pFg9X9jNA/s400/IMG_3576.JPG" /></a></div>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-45271568699444030132012-03-29T18:41:00.004-05:002012-03-29T19:08:58.979-05:00Two and a Half<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap4WD2rxxeTE8ygPCDJSDWsdDH7sfIw6K9r7FIdfHlM6dcwOQCQSAfhp5iN1B6e-AJ6JgwCHlRgxO96tB10evt3M3_ntR3grKLesi5KcxOKPRcCqWQuDmsuDm6el-1EHkjBtNj73BiSk/s1600/photo-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgap4WD2rxxeTE8ygPCDJSDWsdDH7sfIw6K9r7FIdfHlM6dcwOQCQSAfhp5iN1B6e-AJ6JgwCHlRgxO96tB10evt3M3_ntR3grKLesi5KcxOKPRcCqWQuDmsuDm6el-1EHkjBtNj73BiSk/s400/photo-1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725474571385743410" /></a><br /><br />Next month Stella will be two and a half. I probably won't have time to write then and so I'm going ahead and updating you all on her now. <br />Stella is 40 inches tall and weighs a little over 35lbs. According to the internet, that's about the stats of an average 4-5 year old! <br />She wears 3T and 4T clothing and a size 9 shoe. <br /><br />Our girl is a talker! I can't even remember all of the cute things she says and does because there are so many! We are really enjoying this stage in her growth because she is so fun loving and interactive. <br />Some of the funny things she is saying these days...<br />When referring to Drew and me she always calls us "You guys". <br />So a recent conversation went like this, <br />"Where we going you guys?"<br />"Do you want to go to Costco?"<br />"Perfect!!!"<br />(after a minute) "Let's go you guys!"<br />Stella loves to go on outings. As noted in the conversation above... every morning when she wakes up she says "where are we going" or "what doin'"? If I say that we don't have any thing to do today or aren't going anywhere she gets a sad look on her face and says "but I slept a long time!". Apparently good sleep earns fun outings. <br />And good sleep there is! Stella is sleeping from 730/8pm to 9/930am and taking a 2-3 hour nap most days. Every now and then we'll hear her talking and singing through out her whole nap. <br />Stella is also a really good mimic. She has very well behaved dolls too. Today while on a walk I heard her tell her babies in the stroller not to ask to get out and not to fuss. Later she told them they had to say hi to people that passed because it was sweet, kind and nice. HAHA. Those are obviously two lessons we are learning right now. <br />Every morning SJ wakes up with "friends" in her bed and they are always her friends in real life... with the occasional Bible character thrown in. Sometimes Moses is in there with a paci or Jonah and water and always Layne... her current BFF. They go with us in the car and on the couch and in the bed. They always have an imaginary paci too. She is also usually accompanied by her pretend phone in her pretend pocket and she calls her friends, their moms and her daddy a lot. It usually sounds like this...<br />"HEY! Yea. Ummm. Yea. Yea. We going to _____. Yea. Ok. Bye." <br />Another common phrase we hear is "cuz?" and when that gets no response she says "may I please ask why?". I had no idea the "why" phase would come this early!!<br />SJ loves sunglasses but hates if the sun is shining in her face. <br />She loves to play at Pottery Barn Kids with the jogging stroller, babies and big girl desk and kitchen. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMZdbCMrEInLtOKMPpRbMSaplu1mFTSHoPUVHHOmYGwWdqdmIJHwwzHEoguTQXd0Rm47NYbiO0571UkVQ8ZIzwD_VgKuEerd7IpxQk_sSnI37Qt28g9G1pBlyCS7CXD0arl14ayjtIaTw/s1600/photo-2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMZdbCMrEInLtOKMPpRbMSaplu1mFTSHoPUVHHOmYGwWdqdmIJHwwzHEoguTQXd0Rm47NYbiO0571UkVQ8ZIzwD_VgKuEerd7IpxQk_sSnI37Qt28g9G1pBlyCS7CXD0arl14ayjtIaTw/s400/photo-2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5725474014045407186" /></a> <br />(busy getting work done at PBK)<br />We love to walk and play at the playground a lot too. Slides are the current favorite. <br />Stella also had her first admirer the other day at the playground. This little boy from our church followed her with in inches at all times and even attached himself to her going down the slide. He would throw a ball to her and if she didn't catch it, her friend Layne would grab it. When this happened the little boy would cry to his mom, "I don't want to play with THAT girl... I want to play with THAT (SJ) girl!". It was so so so hilarious. Stella was definitely playing hard to get. The attention sort of freaked her out. <br />SJ also loves to do "exercises", which consist of push ups, crunches and arm circles and sometimes high knees. <br />Her favorite foods are still basically the same... mac n cheese, avocado, sweet potato, bread, pizza, pouches, any crunchy salty food, apple sauce and yogurt. <br />Stella also LOVES to sing. She tries to pick up on the words to any song. She can sing pretty much all the words to an entire kids praise CD, Oh No You Never Let Go, Jesus Loves Me, ABCs and a few choice elmo songs. She likes to make up songs too. I love to hear her singing to herself while she takes care of her babies or when she is in her own world in the back seat of the car. <br />We are also in the do it yourself phase. She can put on her own shoes, help get dressed (and pick out the clothes), get in her carseat and booster seat and help buckle, get her milk from the fridge, and feed herself most foods. <br />Our girl is not a baby any more but we are really loving our big girl!Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4898417419740668348.post-41572808393433109062012-01-21T18:55:00.001-06:002012-01-21T19:05:59.170-06:00Savoring the Silly<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimpvGV7MTRhiivRwSFBhNnAkIfvXSNUVDZeB2ID74PRwjb4pQEaeGZbdJoDI4bqcAvU6282k6gx4OQor-bvOso1FTNS-NQWyhg8trcNk1Brl3goRIgGIuOFF8uXR05PhmED0s2ECfZVFs/s1600/photo-1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimpvGV7MTRhiivRwSFBhNnAkIfvXSNUVDZeB2ID74PRwjb4pQEaeGZbdJoDI4bqcAvU6282k6gx4OQor-bvOso1FTNS-NQWyhg8trcNk1Brl3goRIgGIuOFF8uXR05PhmED0s2ECfZVFs/s400/photo-1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700256226492461618" /></a><br />Stella has been growing so fast, it's hard to catch any moment much less every moment. She has already out-grown almost all of her Christmas clothes, potty trained and hurdled herself head-long into the "two-year-old phase". <br />I can't believe how fast she potty trained. I was fully dreading it and it went by so fast and easy I can't believe it. <br />She cracks me up every single day. <br />Lately when I get her up in the morning she is either "Mary" holding her baby "Jesus" (the blanket) while "Joseph is at work". Or she is "Ellie" holding "Charlie" (the blanket) while "Chris is at work" (daddy). <br />Most recently she said "I'm Ellie and this is baby Jesus, Joseph is at work and YOU are my wife!". HAHA. When Drew is home he is either Chris or Joseph and her babies are either Jesus, Eli (the boy we babysit) or Charlie (cousin) and I am always her wife. Cracks me up every.single.time. <br />Tonight we were having a bedtime snack and she was pointing to the "pretend berries" on the table and said "I have some berries in the refrigerator, their applesauce berries... they are hiding". Hilarious! <br />She also tells me all the time that it's time to "go to Costco". She loves that they have samples. <br />We really love our Stella Jane! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLo9N7RNCq3HJjXCE9QAANUzhYkY32mZ7KUwNtb3DuKdO-Ez1iUTcj-yYowphurmyF96qKk4oHCEyV9_mtg08KSV393Co6nM1p1CmMZqj_6a4liNPvoNjTAibsBOVPZR2nVlZ40KRtkDI/s1600/photo-3.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLo9N7RNCq3HJjXCE9QAANUzhYkY32mZ7KUwNtb3DuKdO-Ez1iUTcj-yYowphurmyF96qKk4oHCEyV9_mtg08KSV393Co6nM1p1CmMZqj_6a4liNPvoNjTAibsBOVPZR2nVlZ40KRtkDI/s400/photo-3.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700256240826709106" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhbrTUOC3hWInJKe4HR3F2btStp9IVkAGzijVnElE38LjkYSROwMlLFs4TtIq5hLVQknbfCxkUZttLf6HGrDYfkx8bp0O6ygxhFFPAshfCOUoguF_ZD_bIYG3wFhmX3tjwrWlzgRLK8Zc/s1600/photo-2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhbrTUOC3hWInJKe4HR3F2btStp9IVkAGzijVnElE38LjkYSROwMlLFs4TtIq5hLVQknbfCxkUZttLf6HGrDYfkx8bp0O6ygxhFFPAshfCOUoguF_ZD_bIYG3wFhmX3tjwrWlzgRLK8Zc/s400/photo-2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700256233685273938" /></a>Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15034270645601842489noreply@blogger.com2