The Lewisi

Savoring the Silly

2012-01-21T16:55:00.001-08:00

Stella has been growing so fast, it's hard to catch any moment much less every moment. She has already out-grown almost all of her Christmas clothes, potty trained and hurdled herself head-long into the "two-year-old phase".
I can't believe how fast she potty trained. I was fully dreading it and it went by so fast and easy I can't believe it.
She cracks me up every single day.
Lately when I get her up in the morning she is either "Mary" holding her baby "Jesus" (the blanket) while "Joseph is at work". Or she is "Ellie" holding "Charlie" (the blanket) while "Chris is at work" (daddy).
Most recently she said "I'm Ellie and this is baby Jesus, Joseph is at work and YOU are my wife!". HAHA. When Drew is home he is either Chris or Joseph and her babies are either Jesus, Eli (the boy we babysit) or Charlie (cousin) and I am always her wife. Cracks me up every.single.time.
Tonight we were having a bedtime snack and she was pointing to the "pretend berries" on the table and said "I have some berries in the refrigerator, their applesauce berries... they are hiding". Hilarious!
She also tells me all the time that it's time to "go to Costco". She loves that they have samples.
We really love our Stella Jane!

Fleurs for France

2011-12-27T19:16:00.001-08:00

As you may have read... we are raising money to go on a mission trip to France.
In order to help our fundraising efforts I am making all types of flower accessories for you to purchase.
Headbands are $12 or 2 for $20 (get it while it lasts)
Pins are $5
Gloves are $10
If you live in the area, there is no shipping... we'll just figure out a way to meet up.
If you aren't in the area, feel free to get a group together and make one large order b/c the shipping will be cheaper for you that way. I'm estimating $2 for small orders.
We really appreciate every one who has given to our trip and every one who is praying for our trip.
Blessings!

Bonjour et Joyeux Noël

2011-12-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

Hello and Merry Christmas from the Lewis family.
This is our very first Christmas letter and we are excited to let you in on all the Lord has been and is continuing to do in our lives.
This past year we were blessed to celebrate our fifth anniversary and the second anniversary of the birth of our Stella Jane. Yes, that’s right, we have a two-year-old on our hands.
We are still living in Louisville, KY and serving in Group Life and worship at Sojourn Community Church.
One thing we have learned over the last five years in Louisville is that our plans are not God’s plans. We have made many wonderful friendships over the past years and sadly for us, we have seen most of those friends move away to become missionaries and church planters. We had never considered this as a real option for our family but as God has continued to close doors for Drew on his career path and open completely different doors in our hearts, we decided to let ourselves dream big dreams and allow God to do whatever he desires with our lives… big or small. We want to glorify Him! A verse that encompasses this conviction is Romans 10:13-15
13 For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." 14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? 15 And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!"
As we have made new friends over the past year we began to hear about a small group of people looking to move, long term, to Southern France, in order to minister to the French and North African populations living there. Like before, we never seriously thought we could do something like this but then God. That’s how all, good stories begin. Then God opened a way for us to go on a short-term mission trip to France.
On this trip we will be connecting with Sojourn’s missionary partners in Marseille, France to assist them with their work among Muslims and to help them expand their ministry into other cities in the area. It may be hard to believe but there are hundreds of thousands of Muslims in Southern France that have no knowledge of the Gospel. We will also be on a team going to other cities to do research on how people live, think and interact so that our partner missionaries will know how best to engage these unreached cities after we leave. The vision for the future is to send a team of long-term missionaries from Sojourn to plant churches in Southern France. We are prayerful that as we serve alongside the missionaries in France, God will make it clear if this is where He would have us serve long term.
We ask that you would partner with us in the Gospel. Please help send us to France by donating of your resources. Together, we need to raise $6000 and we long for the Church to rise up and send us in the name of the One we call Savior and Lord! Please click here to give online and select France 724.*
We also need your prayers. France is one of the most forgotten and unreached countries in Western Europe. We need a team of support on their knees with us before we go, while we are there and even once we return. Will you join our team?
For updates on our family and our trip you can visit drewandlindsey@blogspot.com.

We are thankful for your partnership in the Gospel here and abroad!

Drew and Lindsey Lewis

*“Gifts to the church, with an expression of a preference for my trip expenses (France 724), are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law. If you are able to make a gift to the church, helping to fund my portion of the trip expenses, please give online or make your check payable to Sojourn Community Church. If I am unable to participate in the trip, your gifts will be used to support the short-term mission program of Sojourn.”

We realize that the people reading this letter have different means. Every gift is precious in our sight and in the sight of the Lord. To emphasize this, here are a couple of charts to help break down the cost and ways different partners can come together to help us reach our goal!

Giving Chart Examples:

Five ways to reach $6000….
10 Partners giving $600 each
20 Partners giving $300 each
40 Partners giving $150 each
60 Partners giving $100 each
120 Partners giving $50 each

Combined effort to reach $6000…
2 Partners giving $600 each (plus)
4 Partners giving $300 each (plus)
8 Partners giving $150 each (plus)
14 Partners giving $100 each (plus)
20 Partners giving $50 each

Happy Two

2011-10-23T19:03:00.000-07:00

We officially have a two year old on our hands.

I wonder when there will be a birthday for SJ that I will not think about her very first debut.
I still remember exactly how I felt the morning I discovered SJ existed in this world. I remember where I sat and what I did step by step through the day.
I remember details about my pregnancy and how I craved sour candy and developed a dislike for dark chocolate. And being very very sleepy.
I was so proud then to be a mama to a very special, even if unknown, someone.
I couldn't even wrap my mind around having a little girl.
Today, words cannot express the love I feel for this little one.

Stella Jane,

You are only two years old and yet you have already lived up to your name. We prayed that you would be a light to the world, like a shining star in a dark sky and you are. You make us laugh on a daily basis and bring joy to every one around you.
I pray that as you grow older you would begin to know the true Light and that His Light would penetrate your heart and cause you to shine even brighter and truer than you already do. His light is the only one worth having in the end.

We knew that the Lord had been very gracious to us in giving us a chance to know and love you in this life and that is part of why we gave you the name Jane (God is Gracious). However, as we learn to shepherd you and love you, we are seeing more and more the depths of that grace and are so thankful to be able to see your face and heart and personality first thing in the morning and through out each day. We also pray that you would see and understand God's grace in your life and begin to place your trust and hope in Jesus.

I love the way you have grown into snuggling and reading books but still retain your love for action and play. It is so fun to watch you mimic every move we make as you play in your kitchen and take care of your babies. You are such a natural with babies (the real and the plastic variety) and you love to clean and work at whatever I am doing right along side me.
You are a joy.

I pray the the Lord would continue to grow you and speak tenderly to your little heart. I pray that He would protect you and teach you, as only He can. I pray that He would unite our family and give your mom and dad grace for the journey ahead.

We love you Stella Jane, Happy Birthday.

For those interested in a glimpse into the life of a two year old Stella Jane... read on.

At two years old Stella Jane.....

Started to say "Not yet" and "later" and understand and use the term "him and her"
Can sing the ABCs and count to 10 but only when SHE wants to
Has had her first few out right screaming fits
Fully understands and uses the phrase, "I don't like it"
Can sing most of Jesus Loves Me (when no one is looking)
Knows the motions to Wheels on the Bus and Itsy Bitsy Spider and Head Shoulders Knees and Toes
Is developing a love for Elmo (despite her parents' best efforts otherwise)
Loves babies...changing, burping, feeding, rocking, singing to, putting to bed, pushing in stroller and holding
Wants to "Help me" or "Help you"... it's hard to figure out. Often clarifies by saying "Stella help you?"
Can identify most primary and common colors when distracted but if you ask her when she is paying attention, all colors are PINK!
Says "cheese" when she sees a phone or camera and then wants to "see it"
"Call Daddy" a lot
Says "Lub You" and "Lub you too"... but mostly to her babies
Loves to play with balls
Learning to love puzzles and coloring
Frequently tells us she will be "right back", often accompanied by a goodbye hug and kiss
Likes to relive the events of the day and major events of the past and recite family member names.
Is just getting too big and too cute with every passing day...

Baking Day!

2011-08-27T17:13:00.001-07:00

I love to cook and bake. I especially like to cook something and watch people close their eyes and say mmmmmm as they take bite after bite of what I've made. It's a good feeling and it makes me feel like there is some small way I can bless people with my hands even in the midst of toddlers and busy-ness. That's the pretty part of my soul.
However, part of that feel-good-ness is a selfish desire to be accepted and liked and appreciated. Just sayin. It's nasty but true. We all like to know that people think we are good or cool or smart etc etc... So sometimes it is difficult for me to share certain recipes b/c I know if every woman I know makes my cookies or my bread... then it won't be special and then I won't be special... or so goes the lie.
So a few years ago I challenged myself on this here blog to start sharing. I think I shared my favorite cookie recipe and maybe a few others and then forgot all about it. Lately I've been making TONS of bread and people have been oohing and aaahing and I hate to tell them... it's SO easy! So, several women had asked me this and that about bread but were too timid and afraid of yeast to try.
I've wanted to start having baking days with friends, where we bake a lot of goodies for our families to eat and freeze (for later eating) but also get to enjoy each other's company and let our kiddos play. So, I got the idea that I could do a bread tutorial to introduce every one to bread making. I was a little afraid to jump out there and fail but since I was going to be baking any way I figured it wouldn't hurt to branch out.
Six women came and there were four two-ish year olds, a five month old, a two month old and a baby still cookin' with his mama. So we brought down the play kitchen and the little ones played their hearts out cooking and playing with baby dolls and the mamas all learned to bake bread and traded recipes. It was a blast!

I made a double batch of bread an hour before every one came, so they could see what it looked like after the first rise and get it started on the second rise while we started another double batch so they could see the first process too. Every one touched and looked and went home with a loaf of bread. I also made healthy zucchini/banana muffins and printed the recipe for every one to take. I made little recipe cards in different color card stock and a few of the women brought their own baked-good recipes to share.
We talked and laughed and ate a lot of carbs. I think I am going to start hosting a bake day every other Friday and we will try old favorites and new feats! I know granola bars and pasta are coming soon!
If you want in, just send me a facebook message, email or comment here on the blog!

(before and after)

(during)

(Just for fun... our big helper)

Speaking of Elementary School...

2011-08-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

Memories... oh memories.
Some of the most vivid memories I have from childhood involve the books that I read... and reread.
I don't like to read books twice or see movies twice or watch rerun on TV. I have a pretty good memory (or I did before giving birth) and thus there is little joy in redoing what is already permanently done in my brain.
There are however, a few exceptions.
A few such exceptions have stuck with me all of these many (almost two decades) years later.
I'm not sure which came first but I am pretty sure it was
Sarah, Plain and Tall.

I thought her name was Sarahplainandtall... that's what happens when you are young and very literal. ha! This is the story of a poor family in the country and their mama dies. The dad knows that he cannot take care of the farm and all the work while also providing stability and education for his children (a boy and a girl I think) and so he puts an add in the newspaper for a woman to come and live with them to take care of the kids.
Sarah, from Maine, responds and comes all the way down to a completely different culture to help with the children.
The children instantly love her and I did too. She was patient and kind and knew how to soothe their pain. She sacrificed and brought joy and nourishment to their bodies and souls. In the end the Dad realizes that he too loves Sara.
I read and reread this book through out elementary school and I specifically remember the night my mom let me stay up WAY past my bedtime to watch, I think, Glenn Close (though I was told by my all-wise older sister that she was not a very good lady and was in some really bad movies that I would never be allowed to watch) play Sarah in a made for TV movie based on the book. I was enthralled.
When I think of this book I still feel the hot dry wind blowing through the dust and whizzing around my long, prairie skirt... it was all too real to me then.

The second book was Turn Homeward Hannalee.
I have only met one other person who has even heard of this book! This was the most traumatizing and suspenseful book I had ever read to that point in my life and I think it was also the first book I ever cried in or at least wanted to cry for.
Hannalee is a poor Southern girl working in a mill during the civil war and she gets kidnapped by Yankee soldiers and take north, away from her mother and eventually separated from her brother and made a servant for the Union and eventually a northern family.
She knows from the beginning that she MUST return to her mama and when she is finally overcome in her circustances as a servant, she runs away and tries to find her way home. She comes across war and the aftermath of war. She meets with hunger and fear but in the end... she is embraced in her mother's arms again.
I specifically remember sitting in the back seat of our maroon suburban, driving on a fall day from the library to the playground with the windows down. Every one was happy and getting along and I was reading my book. I read in the car and at the park and the air was crisp and cool (rare for Texas) and it smelled like leaves and burning fires.
Back then the world was simple and yet I was slowly coming to know that it was also complex. I was/am so serious, so interested and intense about everything and I labored with Hannalee through every step of her arduous journey!

Finally, a book I only read once (maybe twice) but soaked in to my very heart was On the Banks of Plum Creek. I actually remember very little about this book because I read the whole series in a row (I think I did at least). However, I remember the feeling I had through out the whole book.

It's the same feeling you might get when you are walking on a slightly warm and yet cool spring day with out any shoes on and the grass is cool (not yet itchy from summer sun and bugs) and you stick your feet into a perfectly clear stream of water. The rocks are smooth and cool and the water bubbles around you ankles and toes and it is too cold to want to immerse yourself in but just perfect for your feet. The whole world smells fresh and clean and the sun is bright and friendly (not sleepy like fall and winter or angry like summer). There is nothing weighing on your mind or your heart and you know that God is good, you are loved and good things lie ahead.
I remember finishing this book with a sigh and simply closing the book and flipping it over to just gaze at the cover and that cool spring rushing along the banks of Plum Creek. I wanted to be Laura and live there in that simplicity. I wanted to breathe it in.
Of all these books this is the one I remember the least and reread the least and yet look forward to reading aloud to Stella the most. I can't wait to crawl up together on the couch before bed time and read her a chapter or two and see her dissolve into the world of wagons and candy stores and long dresses and braids.
The other two, I hope she will read on her own as she discovers herself and a little about the world around her. But this is one of the only books I intensely hope she will let me read with her.
We'll see. Mamas can't hold those dreams too tight or they will break...

Third Grade...

2011-08-11T18:47:00.001-07:00

I was just reading an article about writing and being a writer. It talked about making a sweetheart in your mind to counteract the critic. The sweetheart is sweet and simple. When the critic says you are dumb and your writing stinks, your sweetheart just says, keep trying. At the end of the article there were several prompts given to promote writing. The first one said, "tell me everything you remember about the third grade". This made me smirk to myself because I remember EVERYTHING about third grade. Here are the highlights:

Before I entered the third grade I knew who I wanted my teacher to be. She was young and pretty with pouffy curly hair and red nails. Her name was Mrs. C--. I also knew exactly who I didn't want and that was Mrs. Smith. My sister had her and they didn't get along and I didn't want to get caught up in that mess. So I waited and begged my mom to put in a word with the principle and waited some more. Then I got a letter with a picture of all the third grade teachers and I got Mrs. Wyatt and the first thing I noticed was that she had a lot of frown lines. Some one had just taught me about frown lines on the brow and so I was sure this lady must be terrible to have frown lines (I didn't know anything about natural age lines). It gave me nightmares.
So I went into third grade with much trepidation.
In third grade I was growing out my hair and bangs and so it was always in a half pony-tail sticking straight up in the air (pebbles style). I also had a mouth appliance that expanded my top teeth and connected down to a retainer that completely encased all my lower teeth. The connector was metal and got stuck if you opened your mouth too wide... and it squeaked.
We were a class of misfits.
The boy next to me walked on his tip toes and couldn't tie his shoes. The girl a few desks over had an absurd amount of weird animals living in her house and her head was always in a fantasy world that involved lots of cats. I am very allergic to cats.
There was also a girl twice as tall as any one in the class and she bullied every one and was really mean. One day her mom came to class and made her recite the "brownie pledge" and bought the whole class bluebell ice cream in the little containers with wooden scooper things as an apology.
Another boy kept a mini air force base under his chair and worked on it at every possible free moment.
This was my class. (I actually even remember most of their names)
I remember knowing it was a little strange at the time and the room was a little dim but there was one shining light in the room and it was Mrs. Wyatt. It turns out those frown lines were completely misleading. She had a way of connecting to her students and loving them despite their strangeness or intelligence. She never gave demerits or marks of any kind but if you misbehaved you got ZAPPED! She would be talking and all the sudden say ZAP and point to the offender. It worked.
She brought in an extra teacher's desk and set it at the front/middle of the room and each student got to sit in the desk for a week at a time and be the star student of the week. I loved organizing all those drawers in that desk during my week.
She also had us write a biography and I did Princes Diana and came all dressed up and presented my biography to the class.
Midway through the year a handicapped (mentally and physically) girl was put in our class and I was assigned to be her guide and helper. I loved this girl. I gave her my school supplies and even brought her a backpack from home. It was my favorite pack but I had still gotten a new one for a new year. So I colored in any faded spots with marker and brought it to her. I cried when her sister stole it and tore it up. One day she was gone and I have never forgotten her. I worried about her a lot... especially b/c she had such a mean big sister. I still wonder what happened to her.
During the second half of my third grade year the unimaginable happened... we lost our principle (who was a family friend of sorts and had been principle for my older sister and me). If that wasn't enough... he wanted to take my precious teacher with him. I had a special bond with my teacher and loved to stay after school and talk to her and help out around the class. I thought she was amazing. Well, so did my principle. She was to be the new librarian at the new middle school they had just built that he would be principle at. She decided to take the job and thus we got a new teacher with only a little bit left in the school year. I was devastated.
Mrs. Reynolds.
I recognize now that she was probably a nice person and that I probably wouldn't have liked any teacher that took Mrs. W's place... but then... I felt the injustice of it all so acutely.
Mrs. Reynolds had black hair with a grey streak and only wore black, white and red and she raised her voice... a lot. She couldn't handle our misfit class and had a completely different style than what we were used to. The more she yelled and lost her patience the more out of control the class got. She made so many rules, we could barely breath. There were two offenses though that really stood out and drew a line in the sand between us. First, field day is supposed to be a fun day for every one... basically a holiday at school. She made us all stay together as a class and we could only leave to participate in our sport. And when my mom came to see me, she wouldn't even let my mom take me to get a snow cone (they had sno cones on campus FOR field day). I think my mom eventually convinced her but I couldn't believe it... we always got to go with our parents, no matter what they were doing if they came up to the school. Secondly, Mrs. W had promised on the first day of school that all the students who never got zapped and had all Es for the year would get a pizza party. When I asked Mrs. R about it at the end of the year she basically scoffed at me and said there was no way she was going to do that. I have always had a heart for "justice" and to my third grade mind this was an injustice to the highest degree.
I never said anything to any one about all of this... I knew my place. I knew I was to obey and respect my teachers and elders and so I made it through the year with good grades and all Es and never a bad word from the teacher.
But like a good western, high noon was fast approaching... the shoot out.
At the end of the year Mrs. R asked us to write a letter to the upcoming third graders (current 2nd graders). It would be a letter that they would read at their desk on the first day of school in order to give them some encouragement and motivation to do well in third grade. She emphasized being HONEST and giving them a REALISTIC perspective on the challenges of third grade. So I did... I obeyed. In my heart I remember having a completely clear conscience that I was doing the right thing... being honest.
I wrote... I wrote that Mrs. R was very mean and yelled a lot and that they should ask their mom to call the office and ask for a different teacher if at all possible. If that wasn't possible I suggested keeping your head down and just getting through. I don't remember anything else but basically it never occurred to my third grade brain that the teacher would read these before she gave them to the new students.
I went to brownies that night and when I got home my parents did not have smiles on their faces. There was a conversation that involved "you know what you did" and I really DIDNT KNOW! I had no clue what I was in trouble for. Then they told me how my teacher had called CRYING and was so hurt and completely confused about why I would write such terrible things. So then I bluntly explained that it was all true. My parents strongly "encouraged" me to write a new letter to turn in the next day. I remember sitting on the floor with my paper on the seat of a chair and just staring... not knowing how to be nice to my teacher and honest at the same time. That's when I learned to write fluff.
I turned it in the next day and apologized and was so thankful the year was almost over so I wouldn't have to sit and feel the guilt of having hurt her feelings. I truly felt terrible for hurting her, it had just never crossed my mind that she could be hurt b/c I thought she knew how mean she was. That day she sent me on an errand in the school and when I came back she was waiting outside the room to talk to me (wah wah). I remember her asking me what she had ever done to me to deserve those comments (I remember thinking that the letter wasn't even written to her). So I tried to nicely tell her how she yelled at us all the time and how Mrs. W NEVER yelled. I'm sure I said more but at the end I looked right at her and told her that the worst thing was that I had worked so hard for that pizza party and now she wasn't going to do it.
Oh the simplicity of a third grader.
I could never look at her in the face even when I graduated elementary school... I avoided her like the plague. I really really hope that one day she realized not to take everything a third grader says so personally and also not to yell so much. Like I said, I'm sure she was actually a really nice person.
And to this day I struggle with the balance between honest and loving and might tend to still make "honest" blunders from time to time.

post-script: Mrs. Wyatt later became my middle school and high school librarian and I loved her from afar the whole time and finally told her my senior year in high school how much she had meant to me back in third grade.

22 Months

2011-08-09T18:26:00.000-07:00

People are always asking me, "how old is she?". Before this month I was fairly confident in simply saying, "one and a half" or "a little over one and a half". Now however, that seems so long ago, so young, so baby. I stopped counting months though and thus it now takes me an inappropriate amount of time to answer that simple question. I've settled on, "she'll be two in the fall" and that seems easy enough for every one involved. When I got inspired to write on this here blog again I decided I might as well use a little brain power to figure out the months... my baby is 22 months. Seeing the number makes it all too real that she is really more of a two year old and anything with a one involved. October seems so far away and yet that 22 tells me that really, it is so close, it's practically already here!

A few of my favorite SJ-isms:

When she lifts big things or awkward things she says "mommy, heby!" I would be perfectly fine if she said "heby" instead of heavy for her whole life.

"blankie" some how became "baby" and so when I get her up in the mornings or after nap she has her blankie all wadded up and cradled in her arm taking a "nap" or "cryin"... both of which prompt her to then sing "G,G,G,G" which is her rendition of "Jesus Loves Me".
this morning when I went to get her up she had her blankie all cradled in her arms and said, "Mommy...BABY JESUS!!". I laughed out loud... every baby is "baby Jesus" these days. It's hard to know if you should encourage that or be realistic with a two year old so I always simply say,"we love baby Jesus".

she regularly finds a bag and some keys and her fake/real phone and the stroller and says "bye bye" and when I say bye back she comes and says "kiss....hug....yuv you". She is the cutest mimic.

I frequently say, "GUESS WHAT?" and she makes a big surprised face and then I say, "I LOVE YOU!". This week, every time I say "Guess what?" she says YUV YOU!

She LOVES to sing songs and dance and she can do all the motions to Wheels on the Bus and Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. She also loves "He's got the whole world in His hands" (especially in the car). When we do other verses we put people we know in the "whole world" part and she always wants to do KK and Pete and then Wis and Ellieli, CC and Cal (moo), Shell, Gigi and Papa and Susie and Zinnia!

Zinnia is her BFF and is often the first and most frequent thought and request during the day.

(can you believe they are only 2 months apart? so sweet together)

She loves airplanes in the sky and always says "fast, fly, MORE". She also mimics the airplane by running in circles with one elbow up in the air... I have no idea how she equates that with airplane but it is hilarious.

She loves to run "fast" and will run and then say "FAST" or "CRASH"

She love to "jump" which is squatting and flailing her arms in circles or up and down at the same time

She knows most of the mommies of her friends and when we see people at church she will point to a woman and say "JUDE, SILAS...etc etc." I have no idea how she learned that.

Randomly at the dinner table the other night she said "one, two, three, four five!" ok then smarty pants. She also says ABC followed by her letters of choice, which are usually "I, D, O, B (again) and ending on A".

Signs of the toddler:

(toes and tan lines like mommy)

sudden dislike of most fruits and vegetables. She will eat most fruit if it is cooked into something or made into something like applesauce but nothing raw suites her most days.
when it comes to veggies it's about the same. If it is in something with a saucy consistency, she will eat it but if she can pick out a lump or a shade of green or red...she's out and will take whatever punishment (if you are new to this blog... no, we do not harm our child for not eating her veggies)... she will not eat it.

when she gets something she knows she shouldn't have and knows you have caught her she still grabs it but then throws it to the ground and runs. apparently just touching the forbidden fruit is a thrill worth the risk

the look... even if I am offering her a treat or a trip to the park or something really really fun and her usual favorite... if she's in the mood to be defiant, she has that look and we are going to throw down no matter how fun of a day I had planned. We've been late to a lot of fun activities because some one didn't want to get her shoes on or grab her water bottle or walk to the car etc etc. we've also ended a lot of dinners that were made especially with her taste in mind with both mom and dad a little more bald and a little more grey and SJ fully touting the look.

All in all, she is such a blessing and I am so thankful for every day the Lord has given us with her. I love seeing life through her eyes and with her fire.

The Wonder

2011-05-28T10:32:00.001-07:00

Don't you wish you could experience life through the eyes of a child forever?
A world where magical air randomly blows through tiny windows in the floor all over your house.
Where a sparkle from your mommy's eye makes you laugh and produces a picture of a baby on the other side. And, oh what a cute baby at that!
Where blueberries make your eyes big and peanut butter and honey are so tantalizing to your tongue you can't help but giggle.
A place that is so full of fun you have to run everywhere just to get to it all before bed.
Sitting in a chair at the table is a major accomplishment and even going potty is a treat!
Every body is a friend and every animal a blessing in the day.
To live in a way that doesn't involve one second of TV, junk food, caffeine or sex and is still so amazing that you just wake up laughing and go to sleep singing.
What a wonderful life!

Mother-Load

2011-05-08T18:07:00.001-07:00

What was the original "mother-load" that now causes eyes to bulge and hands to spread to show the magnitude, the intensity? This Mothers' Day I think I have found it, this load on mothers that is so extreme and so weighty and so universal that it has made it's way into pop culture jargon... mother-guilt.
I have yet to find a woman, no matter how old or young, who has grown eyes and skin and bones inside her being or agonized over months of paper work and meticulous training, who is not plagued by the hissing in their ears.
I can't believe you let your child cry in his bed... you are a selfish mother.
I can't believe you let your child sleep in your bed... you aren't tough enough.
You started food to early... or too late.
Your schedule is too lax... or too rigid.
You spank.
You don't spank.
When our children begin to sin, look us in the eye and say NO to God's way...we think... what have we done wrong? What could we have done different?
When a toddler hits you in the face, spits out his dinner and whines through out the store you feel the eyes of others burning into your back... even the eyes of God seem to weigh you down until you collapse, throw up your hands and cry out for HELP!
When children grow and are angry, distant, ungrateful or simply lost a mother looks back... did I spank enough or too much? What about that one time I got angry and had to leave the room... or raised my voice... or gave that look... if I had not done that one thing, would it be different today, this moment?
A mother makes a million decisions a day... what time to get the children up, what should they wear and what's to eat? How do you educate them and love them and discipline them and teach them all the things they need to know before life deals them a hard blow. What day to do the laundry and the shopping and when to play outside and how to stay safe and clean and socialized... what's for dinner and how many veggies have they had today? What about sleep overs and girl friends and boyfriends and church? Family worship, devotionals, bible memorization? What is enough and when is it too much. When to push and when to give? It's exhausting... and when so many decisions are made, it is impossible to feel secure you made them ALL right in any given day. Add to that multiple children and other people's children and then the clincher... SIN!
In the midst of this chaos of mind, it's easy to lose sight of God.
That God who is working all things for your good and His glory.
That God who is making you look more and more like his Son.
That God who knows your child more intimately than you and knows the trials they need to come to Him.
It's not all about you, or them or right now... it's about Him and this plan He has and IS working out... even when dishes lie dirty and laundry mildews in the washer and mom almost loses her cool, again...
His plan is working, molding, sanctifying... and it is good.
So, my present to you moms today and a present to myself... let it go. Work hard for the glory of God and raise open palms to the Lord with the rest and look your children in the eye and say, "I did my best, I was faithful... though a sinner and God has a plan for you!".
God doesn't ask us to save our children or give them a perfect life... he asks us to be faithful to Him
To glorify Him as we shepherd, train, discipline, love and give to God.

Love Him and him!

2011-03-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

(Mirroring his heavenly Father, Drew is patient, kind, serving, loving, humble, compassionate, bold, teachable, flexible, adventurous, gentle, strong, wise... and very outdoorsy =) )

I am rereading a very special book for my Marriage and Family Counseling Class.
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace.
I participated in a young, single girls bible study the last semester of my senior year in college and we went through this book (under the amazing Heather Hendrick...you should read her blog).
Martha and Heather worked together with Scripture to show us young ladies that we had it all wrong. We were on the hunt for "the one" and settling for less than God's best. God created "Adam" to lead and initiate and yet we "Eve"s were jumping the gun. It exposed so much sin in my life of selfishness and unbelief.
When Drew first told me he wanted to pursue me for marriage I said something like, "no thanks".
I was emotionally scarred and wounded from a long, recently ended relationship.
I was ready to be single... forever.
Going to seminary. etc etc
Then, it hit me that this might be the very thing I was learning about in class... not to pursue but to be pursued and see what the Lord had in store.
So I committed to "pray about it". Hoping nothing would come of it all.
As you all know by now...a couple of months later we were engaged and a few after that we were married and it has been the richest blessing (apart from salvation) I have ever received. It was also the time when I saw the Lord's hand move in amazing and tangible ways.
So, now I am rereading this book for class and I found this prayer at the end of the very first chapter, which covers what the Bible says on being an excellent wife. Drew was not on my radar and I was just beginning to hope I might have a chance at love again one day....
"Lord, please give me an open and willing heart to hear/read these words and understand your truths. I want to glorify you with my life and be broken of my sin. Please bring me a husband and prepare us to love each other and bring you glory in our relationship and our lives..."
Now I say... Yes and Amen to the first part and THANK YOU GOD for answering my prayer! How little did I believe God would actually answer this prayer when I first wrote it... but I dared hope in Him.
God showed up. (or maybe he was there all along and I finally had eyes to see and ears to hear!)
Here today I sit blessed by a wonderful husband, who is a wonderful father and faithful brother in Christ. He is the greatest gift and I am so thankful for him and proud of all that he is.
I pray the Lord will use this book again to challenge and change me into an excellent wife for Drew and for the Lord's glory and honor!

Here Lately

2011-02-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

(the new "cheese" face)

It's been a flurry of activity around this place lately.
In case you didn't know, Drew got fired. I can't tell you what a wind of relief swept through this house and this soul when this happened. Enterprise has been like a stink stuck in the house or a weighty hand, always present on my shoulder. I felt physical relief when the Lord released us from that grip.
Drew did nothing wrong and neither did the handful of other people that got fired but that's Enterprise for you. They got scammed and instead of fixing a corporate problem, they shift blame and put themselves in a worse position... no manager, no assistant manager, no salesmen, no one to do titles and no boss over them all... good riddance.
We have been praying that God would provide a way out of erac for over three years now and though it is not the way we would have planned it, we are thankful. Thankful for time to get our other house on the market. Time to love on one another. Time to rest.
There is already another job lined up and dreams of jobs to come and time to think about vision and desire for the future.
SJ is loving her daddy being around!
She's also been practicing her mommy skills, she's quite good!

Love

2011-02-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Valentine's day and many of us are tempted to pout.
Men and women crowd around candle lit tables and whisper to each other their love and devotion. Sparkly trinkets glitter and boast from the necks, wrists, fingers and ears of each lady and truck loads of flowers are delivered into the open arms of love lit faces.
Is this the picture of you this Valentine's weekend or is you face a stone fortress begging for a battle, or a squinted eye blazing with jealousy or does the sun lack enough rays to dry your dew strewn face?
I will admit, I have been each of these things in turn and wonder today if there is More for our hearts to seek and find and dwell within.
A Lover who does not fail and who empowers us to be a selfless love-giver too.
Many a man (and woman) I know protest this holiday as consumerific and trite and yet this noble stance seems to fall from its lofty steed when we glimpse on the Creator of Love and how lavishly He continually refills our love-cups, even to overflowing.
So, when I am disappointed by a lack of effort... am I loving others first?
When I heap expectations on another... am I giving them the gift they would ask for?
When I withhold a word, a deed, a gift, to build my box of suds... am I honoring the architect of one flesh?
So this year, let us give love freely with out requiring a fee from those we cherish.
Let us give out of the abundance we have received from the true Giver.
May our children rejoice that they are known and loved and that their parents are known and loved whether or not pennies are pinched or spent by the pound.

My #1 received two batches of homemade granola and some yummy treats for work and my love bucket will wake up to heart shaped oatmeal bars.
My greatest gift was a three day weekend at home with the two greatest loves the Lord has blessed me with!
I love you Drew (and SJ too)!

PJ Magic

2011-01-29T08:06:00.000-08:00

There is something magical about a toddler first thing in the morning.
Maybe it's the way her hair whisps about in all directions or the perky pajamas that seem to embody her personality so well.
Or maybe it's the kisses she gives her favorite babies, knowing the night has been too long to go with out such treats.
I think it is the lack of fog and the joy in the mundane.
When I wake up in the morning I assess all my aching bones and wind up the clock to tick through another day. The first few moments are hazy and wordless. Fuel is needed to plow ahead.
But for this little morning ray there is no haze to be cleared but bright beams ready for business, adventure and exploration.
There is love to be poured out that was stored away and there are treasures to be found out (despite the spankings they might earn)!
So I snapped some pics of your favorite blessing since it seems selfish to keep all her smiles for myself.
How did she get so big?

January

2011-01-27T13:56:00.001-08:00

Do you ever feel defeated? Like your spirit echoes the grayness in the continually cloudy sky?
Every January I seem to go through the same valley and though I look in the mirror and recognize the scenery, it is still a battle each and every time.
A battle for joy.
I love Christmas and thinking on the birth of Christ and how the entire world was holding its breath and waiting for his entrance.
And then the angels sang and he was heralded into the count down to save the world. Time was ticking and the universe was transformed and because of that first breath, we celebrate.
I love trying to find special gifts for those I love. I love the music and the lights and the tree. I love being reunited with our family and eating until I bust.
It's a wonderful season.
New Year's is always anticlimatical, though thought provoking. Basically New Year's is just another step in the right direction... my birthday. I'll admit, I love to have a birthday!
I have this complex where I continually doubt people's love for me and this is just a small reflection of a deeper heart issue. I am realizing more and more how little I accept God's love for me and the worth he has spoken into me through his son. I am always beating on the door of achievement to reassure myself I am worth love and acceptance.
It causes problems.
So a birthday is a relief, a day when I am bombarded with messages of love and friendship and reminded that maybe I am okay.
There is also the fact that I have always... always looked forward to being 27. Don't know why but it's my favorite number and I always knew if I wasn't married, I would marry at 27. If I didn't have kids, I would do so at 27. Life would begin at 27... thankfully my life has already been full and thus I don't have to make any hasty decisions this year (except to get bangs or not.. which I did).
Then comes the 8th. And the 9th. And the 24th.
Then I get the blahs.
I've read a book a week since December.
I'm ready for classes to start.
SJ starts to break in four teeth.
Job issues arise.
It's back to real life and the real sins that are always a part of that life.
Then I find myself doubting.
Why am I still struggling with these things? Why do I always fall into the same trap? Why do I love ease? Why can't I love others better? Why.. Why...Why?
Who am I?
Where is the Spirit of God in me?
And there's his foothold. That sly snake and roaring lion steps right in to my self love and self doubt and starts his whispering. The problem is, the secrets he whispers about my identity are so loud, they beat out truth. They make me dizzy and sick until I find myself crying out... SAVE ME JESUS!
I. WANT. YOU.
And I am falling.
I disbelieve Jesus' sacrifice was enough for a sinner like me. I disbelieve that I am accepted and loved by a God of truth and justice.
But every January, He hears my cry.
He picks up this broken and lost lamb from the very pit.
He dusts me off and speaks His Truth into my very soul.
You are loved.
You are accepted.
This world will be a struggle... but you. are. MINE.

1.1.11

2011-01-01T12:16:00.000-08:00

2010

2010-12-31T12:35:00.001-08:00

I like to look back on the previous year and make a short list of all the big things that happened.
2009 was a huge year... full of changes with friends, church and our family...aka SJ's appearance.
As I look back on 2010 my list is very very short.
I feel like the main thing we did in 2010 was survive.
I don't mean that in a depressing way but in a realistic way. This time last year I was pretty much at my whit's end. Stella was overcoming the worst of her colic and I was grabbing desperately on to Christ to pull me out of sadness and anxiety that I couldn't handle on my own.
And He did!
The rest of the year was full of diaper changes and nursing and trying to get back into a new routine...and then another new routine with every change in our little girl's life. I have learned so much this year by the grace of God. I am no longer a leaf shaken by every small breeze. I know how to receive help and how to offer help.
For a while I felt like I just took and took and took as people provided meals and support and love to us as we transitioned into parenthood and I am so thankful the Lord then gave me eyes to turn it around once that season was over. I feel so much joy in being able to babysit or take a meal or sweep a floor... now having a much greater appreciation for what those things mean to another mommy.
I am thankful for continual healing in my sinus issues. They aren't gone but man are they better.
I grew in my understanding of friendship and natural food/cooking. I am so thankful for my friend Mandy, who led and walked along side me in both of those journeys.
As I look ahead at 2011, not too far ahead actually, I wonder what it will bring.
Will it bring other children with a different color or genetic code into our home? Will it bring a new job (please oh please)? Will it be full of mental and spiritual learning like this year or full of major events like the year before?
Whatever it brings, I just pray for the strength to walk through it all with grace and that this time next year I will be closer to my Lord and to my family and friends and glorifying God in more ways than I am now.
Grace and Peace this New Year!

Merry Christmas and a Happy Move In!

2010-12-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

This picture is pretty much the perfect way to describe what is going on here.
First and foremost there is SJ and me. As usual, we are spending all day, every day together and wishing there was a little more daddy in the picture.
Stella is such a fun joy these days. She is walking and running all over the place. Some days she doesn't fall at all and some days she seems to have her head on crooked b/c she plops down all the time for no reason. Either way, she is happy and often a lot less messy due to her new walkin' skills! Stella has been doing really well taking two naps or at least two rest times and still sleeping 12-13 hours a night!! We only had a minor blip (four wake ups in one night... ahhhh) when we moved in to the new house this week but she seems to be catching on that this is her new home now. She still says "this" alllll the live long day but I try and identify as much as possible (even if she can't have it) so hopefully she'll learn some new words soon. I can't believe what a big girl she has become. She is really smart and understands more and more each day. I love being able to discover what is wrong with her when she is fussy and try and deal with the situation as best as possible... it has cut down on our tantrums tremendously!
My favorite this about SJ right now is that she has started to request to sit in my lap to "read" a book. It might only last a second or maybe several minutes but I relish it each and every time. I am really looking forward to her being around our extended family for Christmas b/c she is so much more interactive and outgoing than she has ever been around them and I'm hoping she'll start recognizing people as family since they have been around more and more.
This picture is also perfect because it shows the Christmas tree in the background. We are in full swing of Advent and love listening to Christmas music and looking at the tree and talking about our Salvation coming to earth! Even before we moved in, I set up our tree in the "new" house right in front of the front windows. I just love seeing the light and sparkle shining out of our house.
The final thing you will notice is all the stuff in the background! We just moved in this week and we are still living between two worlds a little. We got about 90% of our stuff here but haven't had the time or motivation (in the snow and ice) to finish up. Also, we are getting the upstairs carpeted (finishing tomorrow yay!) and so everything that will be up there is in the living room downstairs. Thankfully tomorrow Drew is taking the day off and the carpet will be installed and we can get things a little more settled before we celebrate with family.
Recap: Stella is big, Christmas is here and "here" is the new house!
Merry Christmas!

Missing out!

2010-11-16T15:50:00.000-08:00

** I wrote this post about a month or so ago and never got the time to post it... but now that we are at the new house, I have internet... hurray!

Well, you have been missing out... oh wait, that's my fault? Sorry about that. We don't have internet at the house any more and so when I do get to check the internet and things, it's usually brief and I only have time to check emails, do school work and get back to the mommy business!
Stella is one. This is crazy.
We had an awesome fall festival for her birthday and we had a great turnout and a great time. I have some pictures but they are somewhere...dunno. Stella wasn't the typical birthday girl who is shy about diving into her very own cupcake. Nope. She picked up that pink little sucker and stuck it straight in her mouth. A few bites later and it was gone and she was signing "more". Don't think so. She didn't seem surprised by the sweetness or overjoyed at the pinkness... just simply glad we were feeding her grown up food and she wanted more... she got more but not of anything sugary! She definitely didn't nap that afternoon after all that excitement and sugar. It was great having my entire family and some of Drew's in town for a long weekend. We were spoiled with a lot of Starbucks!
Stella is pulling up and standing on her own and has taken a step or two but mostly only walks with assistance. She isn't very excited about walking b/c she is so much faster at crawling. She is able to point and say "dis" (this) about things she wants you to either say or give her. Sometimes this leads to tantrums when we say "no" but I am still excited about a new level of communication with her. She can say mama but prefers to say dada. She loves to say hi and bye "ba". She knows how to sign more and all done and is learning "baby" and can wave hi, bye and night night. She also blows kisses, gives kisses and hugs on command! She is learning eyes, nose and mouth but still gets them confused. She is enjoying reading books more and more and every now and then will stay still long enough to get through one. Usually she prefers to just flip through the pages. She is the most energetic and vocal one year old I have ever met.
Her favorite food is cheese and she is eating all big girl meals these days and only nursing twice a day.
We are currently fixing up our new house and really hoping to be able to move in soon. It always takes longer than you expect and it's been really hard on Drew and I with him working so hard and then going straight to more work at the house. He doesn't get a break and neither do I and then we literally crash like dead people until the next day. We are so thankful for all of our wonderful friends who have recently been so great to watch SJ and help on house work and even give us a date or two!!
It's funny that I never blog these days because I am literally blogging in my head all the time. I've thought about telling you of the beauty of fall and the special fall smell that I adore. Drew says it smells like s'mores and there is definitely a sweetness to it... but it's indescribable to me. It's my very favorite smell in the world and it only comes in the fall. Something to do with crispy leaves and tree sap or something. I am blown away by the colors of fall each year and am continually amazed that these trees that completely die on the outside for the winter will come back to life with flowers and leaves again in the fall! God is truly a creative genius! Lately, especially today, it's been getting colder and wetter and I find myself dreading the winter months. It's a lot harder to get out in the cold with a wee one along and the gloomy clouds really put a damper on my spirits if I don't continually check myself.
My mom is coming in to town this week to love on SJ and go to a women's conference with me and then next month is Christmas with family and then after that is my sister's wedding reception. I am thankful for more opportunities to see family and for Stella to see them as well. She'll be spoiled completely rotten by spring I'm sure.
That's all I've got for now... hopefully I'll get to be more regular about pictures and updates once we are moved in to the new place (with internet...hurray!)

A lot to Say...

2010-10-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

I have so many things that I have been planning to blog about but the fact that I haven't had any videos or pictures to upload with them has kept me from doing so and now I am overwhelmed with the catch up that needs to happen!
First of all, I think I have this disease when it comes to videoing my child. I start videoing to catch a certain scene and then if she is cooperating I think, why not try and get a video with all her tricks in one. So I proceed to ask her to do this or that and she doesn't and I keep trying and the video gets longer and more boring and longer and longer and I don't know how to edit them to be concise. So, with that disclaimer out there for all to read... I will post the following videos. Each one has a segment of action and the rest is boring pleas for action. haha. Enjoy!

The other night I was whistling while feeding Stella and this is what she started doing...

whistling from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Take II on the tricks

tricks from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Starting to walk... sort of

Walker from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

As you can see, our little SJ is growing up quickly!! People comment all the time about how much she has grown just in the weeks that they haven't seen her. It's true. I notice on a regular basis that her hair is thicker, her face looks older and she is looking more and more like a toddler. At 11 months, Stella weighed 23lbs and I can't believe we have only two weeks until she is a year old. Up to this month I have been eagerly peeking ahead at that one year mark. At one year the allergies are not such an issue with foods. The nursing will taper and stop... but even if we are still nursing, there's no pressure b/c I know there are other things for her to eat. At a year I feel like there are so many fears that just melt away. However, now that I am staring that year smack in the face, I'm okay with walking slowly for the next two weeks and enjoying the baby in Stella Jane. I think she is enjoying the baby too b/c she has wanted to be held and started waking up at all hours of the morning lately for no real reason. I think it might be teething again or maybe those darn allergies that won't leave her be.
Stella is pulling up and cruising around the house on everything. Her favorite thing seems to be to get right under me while I am cooking or cleaning and hang on to my legs. It's not convenient but it sure is cute. She has figured out how to open cabinets and push chairs and boxes around the house. She is still taking two naps but usually one of them isn't that great, so I see what's coming.
Drew and I celebrated our Four Year Anniversary a couple of weeks ago! We didn't do much since we already took our vacation to Tahoe but we did close on our new house on our anniversary. A friend was keeping Stella during the signing b/c it was her nap time and Drew was so awesome and called her and asked her in advance if he could take me out to lunch afterwards. So we went to Macaroni Grill, which we never do, and gorged ourselves on bread and pasta. YUM! I was so excited about our lunch date I was okay with not having much more celebration. However, when I arrived to pick up Stella there was an edible arrangement on the table... for me! Drew had it sent to her house knowing I would be there. I have ALWAYS wanted one of these!!! It was so great. That night I made pizza and apple crisp (with blue bell!), which are two of his "favorites" (aka he likes them a lot but doesn't really have favorites). It was a really sweet day.
Since then we have been working on the house and we went on a road trip to southern TN for a wedding and Stella did amazing in the car. She took a nap on both of the long legs, which was unexpected and amazing! We got a great deal on a hotel and got a lot of unexpected friend hang out time while we were there... so it was a great weekend too! Then this week we went to a local farm and picked apples... a first for Stella. I made some amazing apple streusel muffins and have a few more apple tricks up my sleeve!
Now we are in high gear to get this house fixed up, have Stella's Fabulous Fall Festival birthday party and move in!
You can also be praying for me, I have some nose issues again and they are pretty severe it seems this time and I am trying a new natural remedy that I am really hoping works out! Thanks!!
Apple picking pictures to come!
Blessings

Don't Feed the Wildlife...

2010-09-18T14:10:00.001-07:00

He couldn't resist... and that little bird followed us around the rest of the trip beggin' for more... at least she is sooo cute!

More Vaca...the boys and SJ

2010-09-15T17:25:00.001-07:00

Back Again!

2010-09-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

This summer has been a whirlwind of travel for this family, especially SJ and myself. Drew and I were hoping to get away on a post-weaning trip just the two of us but the more we thought about it, the more we realized that the timing wasn't going to really work out and we might as well wait to go until after his vacation days renew in the winter. So, what to do with those set aside days? FAMILY VACATION!
I don't know what we were thinking but in a crazy instant we booked tickets to Lake Tahoe, NV. It was a whim and a lark and it turned into our first ever family vacation (at least first with just us three). Drew's bff and his lovely wife and son (same age as SJ) live on the lake and so we stayed with them for a week.
Vacation is a little different when you are traveling with a baby. I thought I had prepared my expectations but you can never be fully prepared for being woken up at 1am, 4am and 6am on a regular basis on your VACATION. Vacations are supposed to be restful! It took almost the entire week to get SJ to nap well and sleep through the night but that aside.. it was a flawless trip. SJ did amazingly well on our long flights and she was a trooper through out the trip.
Some of the highlights for me were (yes most of them involve food): roasting marshmallows for a breakfast appetizer, finding a bunch of Jamba Juice stores, In and Out Burger for the first and second time ever, hiking around the Emerald Bay area and putting the babes in the lake, kayaking on Lake Tahoe, dinner with the camp director and his wife (real tex mex for dinner too), talking about babies and laughing. Even though we didn't sleep a lot, we did get to rest a lot. It was chilly the first few days and so we just stayed indoors and chatted and then spend the last few days hiking, walking and hittin up the beach!
I might go into more detail later but for now, just enjoy the pictures.
Also... we are closing on the house this month! woo hoo!

THE House....

2010-08-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

We had an inspection today on a new (to us) house... there were a few unexpected issues (read: huge leak coming out of the dining room fan when the water was turned on) but nothing that our handy plumber and handyman husband couldn't/can't handle!
The pictures are no longer posted online so I snapped a few to give you an idea.
We are planning to paint to door (color still in debate), paint the shutters black, paint all the walls a neutral shade (including the upstairs wood panelling) and do a deep clean in the bathrooms.
There's also a pic of SJ in her new big girl seat... she comes with the house too!

When you walk in the front door you are in the living room and can walk straight into the dining room and to the left of that is the kitchen. Off the immediate right are the stairs leading to the second floor.

Off the right side of the living room/dining room area there are two bedrooms and a full bathroom. They basically only need a good clean and some fresh paint

This is the upstairs... two rooms with wood panelling and a full bathroom. The rooms need paint but are really cute with large closets, attic space and built in drawers, shelves and desks.

This is the median/cul de sac and pictures of the back "yard"

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.....10!!

2010-08-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

We made it to 10 months! We are on the final dash to the one year marker.
This month has been so eventful. A trip to Duxbury, MA and a trip to Texas and a vacation to Lake Tahoe! Stella is truly one of the most traveling babies I have ever met. She does fairly well but with increased mobility comes increased agitation on plane rides, which is not much fun.
Before we went to Texas, SJ had some sort of cold/allergies and after a week they cleared up and all was well. The day after we got back from Texas she started up with it again. It's been over a week and the little babe is a cranky, snotty mess!! I'm not really sure what I should do at this point? If I go to the doctor I am pretty sure I will be wasting $20 for him to tell me to wait it out or he will give me some drug that I am not too keen on giving to my little one. I'm just hoping it will clear up soon. Because of the allergies and a very busy schedule naps have been more often a miss than a hit. I don't think that helps her cranky disposition one bit either!
Stella is SUPER mobile these days. She can reach the kitchen counter on her tip toes and the piano and highchair and just about anything else she really sets her mind on. She isn't afraid of falling or rolling (and has the bumps and bruises to prove it)... as long as mommy is near. Remove the mommy and remove all sanity. Same song, 10th verse.
Stella is getting lots of hair and in general assuming a much more big girl look. It's crazy to see her growing from day to day. She is so interested in having a conversation (with lots of hand motions) and looking into every little detail of every little thing. She is into everything!
Because she is still crawling and pulling up on anything she can, I don't have any pictures of her...I am constantly in motion with her and have no time to grab a camera and by the time I do, she is on to something else.
We are inspecting a new house today and so hopefully I'll bring you pictures of the babe and house soon!
Happy 10 Months SJ!

Miscellaneous

2010-08-05T13:50:00.000-07:00

There is nothing much to note about SJ but I just felt like giving you a little update on our normal day to day...

This week has been a little bumpier than usual because SJ has had some sort of cold or allergies. I don't know which I would prefer. If it's a cold, it's sad because she is contagious and thus we have to stay pretty quarantined (which we mostly have). However, if it's allergies, it could last months and months or off and on for her entire life. I don't want her to have to go through what I have gone through.... isn't that the main point of nursing for a year and delaying this food and that etc etc...? Either way, it was just another test of my motherhood skills (which are still being refined to say the least). I always feel like this will last forever and then am ashamed of myself when it is over in a mere week or two. SJ stopped taking naps and started waking up earlier and earlier in the mornings and was the fussiest I have seen her in six months or more... I was becoming frazzled. Then today, she slept like normal and has taken two great naps! Oh mommy, when will you learn to chill out!
In a week or so we are traveling back to Texas to hang out with Drew's Gran and the rest of our families. We are hoping to go swimming a lot while we are there. SJ had her first dip in the ocean when we went to Duxbury recently and she liked it. It was so cold and thus we thought she would dislike it but she seemed really pleased the whole time. Can't wait to see her in the pool again.
Last week SJ started pulling up on everything and has become really sturdy on her feet. Today, for the first time, she even let go of what she was holding and stood on her own for a few seconds.
I can't believe that the summer is basically over. Seminary classes start online in a little over a week. I am still very excited but also a little sobered by the amount of work in the syllabus. It's never as bad as it seems right at first. I think I will miss seeing my favorite professor in person and hearing his asides but I'm thankful for the online option at this stage in our lives.
I'm also going to be a teacher's assistant for my good friend and mentor as she homeschools her four children. I am so excited to be able to help her out and also to be able to learn along side her as she teaches, disciplines and loves on her kiddos. I know SJ will also benefit from being around other children so often, especially as she develops more and more... and from being in a more structured play time several times a week. We are going to work with the little girls while the boys are getting more formal schooling. I can't wait.
Then before you know it, SJ will be ONE! I am already planning her party in my head and trying to learn all about this new stage that is fast approaching. I have no idea how to wean or what to feed a one year old or what to occupy her time with etc etc... it's going to be fun!
Here are some pictures from our day to day lately...

sitting on the a/c vent on our hottest day of the year so far... in fact I think the hottest day I've seen in four years here!

teething and standing up at the same time... what talent!

We had to say goodbye to some of our closest friends... Jane and SJ hanging out for lunch/tea one last time

9 Months...a little late

2010-07-30T14:29:00.000-07:00

So SJ is blowin' straight through all these milestones... next up is ONE YEAR! I can't believe it. I think I've said that every time. We haven't taken SJ to the doctor yet for her check up (b/c we know she is fine and don't need to pay to have them tell us) but here are her stats...
Longer
Taller
Stella is measuring way above the average one year old in height and weight and last time I checked she was around 30 inches and 20lbs (about a month ago).
We are still nursing but have started to introduce more and more solids. Right now she gets at least one meal of solids a day and we are moving up to two. She LOVES avocado and cheese and takes just about everything else we have given her. The only thing she has ever rejected was a slice of yellow bell pepper. She wouldn't even tolerate it to be on her tray. This is so hilarious b/c neither Drew nor I appreciate bell peppers and it has only been in the recent months that I have been able to tolerate the red and yellow/orange variety. The green don't have a chance in this family. So it's funny that without any prompting she rejected this veg. Oh well. We'll try again some time soon.
At 9 months Stella had her two bottom middle teeth fully installed and just recently started cutting all four middle top teeth. Needless to say, she has not found that a pleasant experience. During her ninth month Stella had a trip to Texas for a wedding, a trip to Kansas for a wedding and a Lewis family trip to Duxbury, MA. She is quite the traveling baby. She has done well on all her flights and has flirted with all the other passengers.
Stella has learned how to wave, fake shyness and give a low five or high five. She loves to talk non stop and eat anything in reach. She still comes at life with the tongue first.
Just this week (9.2) Stella learned how to pull all the way up to standing and has had quite a few tumbles in the process. Pretty soon she will be cruisin' around the house and then we'll really be in trouble.
She is such a fun and happy baby to mother (yes, even in the midst of teething woes) and I am so thankful to the Lord that she came through the colic phase and is now so happy to be with me and wants me around all the time.
We love you SJ... and apparently she loves you too (see video)!

Want a Kiss? from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Because I love you...

2010-07-12T16:10:00.000-07:00

and I love her
and, well, she loves herself....
I thought you should see this..

Kiss the Baby Take 2 from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Updates

2010-07-12T07:53:00.001-07:00

This should brighten even the worst Monday!

SJ 7mo Laugh from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

This video is proof that Stella is quite the camera ham. She will rarely continue to do any trick once she sees that camera. She will just stare at it and smile.

Little Puppy from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

This video is a little dated but it is still one of her favorite spots to be. Instead of licking it, now she likes to pull up on it and grab at anything on top of it.
I haven't really be blogging lately because there doesn't seem to be much to blog about. After our trip to Texas and Kansas it took me a while to get back into the swing of things. First I rested a lot to catch up from all the busy activities we had been doing and then I had to restock the fridge and pantry and learn how to cook meals again. Then I had to clean the house and run errands and catch up with friends etc etc... I am just now feeling back to normal. And so is Stella... apparently... because she has gone back to shorter naps and less clingy days.
Lately Stella has mastered her crawling skills and can crawl across the whole house in a matter of minutes (usually to find me). She also likes to pull up on things onto her knees and has pulled up all the way to standing a couple of times on my leg. We think she is teething again or having a growth spurt b/c a couple of times in a row she woke up periodically in the night crying for no apparent reason and she has been a little cranky even in the day too.
We have started to give her solids on a more regular basis. For about the last two weeks we have given her a full feeding of solids before her last nursing because she was acting like she was still hungry at night. Avocado seems to be her favorite but she has enjoyed every fruit we have given her as well. This past week I gave her some raw milk, organic cheese and she LOVED IT. It is the only thing I have ever put in her mouth that at least some of it did not come out. I kept checking her clothes, diaper and high chair for dropped pieces but there were none! This week I am trying to add on another feeding of solids during the early afternoon to see if that helps her stay more comfortable during the 9 month growth spurt.
Stella loves to cluck her tongue and is learning how to clap and give a "high five". She has said mama, dada, nana, ga, ba, and a whole bunch of other gibberish sounds. She also can give a good raspberry.
In other news we have picked three zucchini from our garden and lots of broccoli and today we have a few huge tomatoes that look like they are ripe for the picking. Several cherry tomatoes are orange colored and there are several strawberries to be picked! WOO HOO! I am super pumped about our veggies! I'll post some pictures soon.
The babe is awake... so I'm off!

Back!

2010-06-29T18:27:00.001-07:00

It has been a CRAZY week! Tuesday I flew to Dallas with the little one and got to visit with the in-laws and Drew's Gran (Stella). SJ did really well on the flight with only a brief melt down at the end from being forbidden to eat the lady next to us' watch, magazine, coke bottle and hair. Poor kid. Then she took a great nap and we headed back to FW. She basically went straight back to bed.
We had so much fun the following days hanging out with my parents and sisters and other various friends and family along the way. My parents took so many pictures and video of her it was hilarious. I don't think there were many consecutive minutes where one of them didn't have an iphone or camera in her face. haha. She was a big mama's girl the whole time but did better about playing and laughing with other people as long as I was in the same room as her.
The wedding festivities began Thursday night and continued through Saturday night. It was so so much fun to hang out with my life long friends and also to meet some new sweet girls. I felt really blessed the entire week.
SJ slept great (minus some seriously early mornings) and ate great and really did great in general.
Sunday we left early for Kansas and Drew's brother's wedding. It was a little difficult to orchestrate with SJ needing naps and going to bed earlier than most people but we still managed to squeeze in some fun. Our new sister in law was absolutely stunning and more than anything else we are thankful to have her cemented into the family! Aunt KK woo hoo!
Monday we flew back to the ville and SJ finally had it with all the flying and missing naps and she just layed across our laps, stuck that cute thumb in her mouth and slept the whole flight. It was amazing. She has never slept in our arms since those early days of life and it was really too cute.
Today she seemed to be playing catch up from all the travel and teething and slept most of the day away (which was a nice treat for one tuckered out mama too).
That's the update.

8 Months!

2010-06-21T16:09:00.001-07:00

Stella will be 8 months old tomorrow at 5pm... but since we'll be traveling all day, I thought it was okay to be a little early.
Stella has become such a big girl this past month. She is officially mobile and while she can crawl correctly, she usually either only uses her hands or her feet... she likes a challenge. She still sleeps through the night and has been hit or miss with the naps these days... we are just trying to roll with the punches. She has two bottom teeth and seems to be working on more. I feel like this month I have grown closer to her than ever. I feel like I can really diagnose and meet her needs and we laugh together all day long. She is super vocal saying mamama, dadada, nanana and bababa. Too bad no grandmother chose nana for her name because that is her favorite right now, I guess great nana wins the honor! She can also blow a raspberry and cluck her tongue. She likes anything dirty or metalic including floor vents, vacuums, chair legs, watches, rings, keys etc... Stella is a great shopping companion and likes to go out to eat also... she is always a big hit with other people and even gives them a smile sometimes. She has gone a few times to the church nursery successfully and has even let some close friends hold her with out crying! She has tried pieces of pear, avocado, nectarine, honey dew melon, apple, cantaloupe, sweet potato, pureed peas, carrots, strawberries, broccoli and banana with no allergies that I can tell. She is such a joy!
Stella decided to go BIG for her first Father's Day outside the womb and I am afraid she won't be able to top this gift for the rest of her life. She had one happy daddy! We also ate at Chili's (his choice) and got ice cream at Graeter's (strawberry chocolate chip for me and blackberry white chocolate chip for him) and yes we let SJ have a teensy taste. She liked the ice cream but seemed to go for the plastic spoon even more.

Here are some pics after some avocado... practicing with her spoon and blowing raspberries... see ya soon Texans!

Right Now...

2010-06-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

Here's what we are doing right now...

suckin' on a purple carrot and a blue spoon that used to have green peas on it. she seems to love the purple carrot more than any other thing I've given her to gum on... she must know it's a rare treat (and from a local farm too)

In other news... today we had our first day at the buying club and boy oh boy did we buy! It's this really neato club that I just joined that promotes eating whole foods and organic and stuff like that... pretty granola (and yes they do carry granola). It's just one more step in the journey I've been on to provide optimal health, through food, to my family. We have been ditching high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils in favor of natural sweeteners and fats. We are also dabbling in soaked and sprouted grains, which this club also highly supports. They provide farm fresh eggs and milk straight from the cow along with other amazing things. Today was my first day and I had to put my deposit down so that cost some moolah and then I bought a gallon of maple syrup (drew likes him some waffles and this was much cheaper than buying it a little at a time). I also got eggs and beef and fish and cheese and an organic salve that supposed to help with rashes and bug bites. I'm hoping that through this healthy journey I will be able to continue in the healing process from all these nasty allergies (of which I am currently majorly suffering from and poor SJ too) and help Drew grow in health and give SJ the best possible health advantage in this life. It just doesn't seem a coincidence that disease is on the rise and so are the amount of chemicals we consume (though I know there are many factors). I still have a few quirks to work out... peanut butter being one (I still love me some reduced fat jif) and sodas (only one a week but still... trying to do less). I am not good at doing things in moderation and yet this diet is so complex and unconventional that it will take me a long time to make the switch and that's probably a good thing.

I'd rather....

2010-06-09T18:15:00.001-07:00

see a picture of SJ than a picture of the garden and I figure you feel the same.... so here you go!

Garden Update

2010-06-03T06:13:00.001-07:00

This is how we started out....

And here's how it looks now!

And of course we couldn't do it right with out our special garden helper...

Guess Who?

2010-06-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

Strawberries!

2010-05-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy around here lately! My mentor (we will refer to her as MG) and I made plans a month or so ago to conquer our fear of canning this summer. We decided that our first feat would be to go to a local farm and pick strawberries and then can some jam for our families. This would be fun and save us some money on jam that doesn't have any weird stuff in it. Well, MG and her family are also in the middle of their second adoption journey and found out that at any moment they might be able to go to Ethiopia and pick up their little girl. Then about 10 days ago we found out that they would be leaving in two weeks. So, the last two weeks we have both been going around like crazy people trying to get them ready... and by them I mean mom, dad and three children under five! It has been so fun. In the process I found out that there were strawberries ready for picking but I figured this would super duper stress out MG and didn't want her to feel obligated to go and so I decided not to worry her and that I would just go and can some for the both of us. Well, I get a call Tuesday night from MG saying, DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE STRAWBERRIES?!?! Umm... yes? So she is game on and wants to go and so we go the next day with her three and my one and pick 30lbs of strawberries in 30 minutes.... with four children! That has to be some sort of record. This was by far SJ's hottest life experience to date. She was a bit cranky but overall she did really wonderful and even drank some water from a sippy cup to stay cool. Then the next day we started canning at 11am and I left her house at 630pm with still a batch or two to go. We canned about 30 jars of jam plus had more that we froze and more that we are dehydrating. It was crazy! I am so excited to see how our jam turned out.
In other news, Stella has two teeth starting to poke through! Her bottom left front tooth is pretty much completely broken through and the right one is about half way through the gum! I am so glad after 2+ months of teething to see her getting some progress and hopefully some relief. On the other hand, I hate seeing her grow up. I LOVE gummy grins and would have been fine to wait on those teeth until she was closer to a year. But like I said, I am happy for her to hopefully have some relief. I guess it's because of the teeth but she has been a terrible napper lately. Her already short naps have become even shorter and she is super fussy during them. Sometimes I'll put her right back to bed after getting her up and feeding her b/c she is just so obviously tired. I'm hoping to resume our schedule once these teeth are in but we'll see.
We are finally finishing up some long over due presents to the gmas and here is a sneak peek at the second half of SJ's photo shoot.

sneak peek

2010-05-28T08:15:00.001-07:00

We went strawberry picking! More to come about that and the 30 jars of jam it resulted in!

7 Months!

2010-05-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

Stella Jane is 7 Months old today!
I don't know how much she weighs or how tall she is because we don't have another appointment until her 9 month check up. I would guess that she is around 18-19lbs and probably 30ish inches tall. She is wearing anywhere from 6-12 month clothes depending on what it is.
Month seven was a little rougher on SJ and mommy because our nap routine some how got lost and the little missy decided she didn't need much of a nap in the morning or afternoon and thus was often a very tired and fussy little girl. However, she is usually pretty reliable when it comes to night sleep and will usually sleep 12ish hours a night.
She is still teething but those suckers seem pretty allusive, which is okay with me as long as we are nursing.
She loves her mommy and daddy but is becoming better and better about being around other people and has even found some little friends that she will let play with her too (London and Liam being at the top of that list).
We have been cloth diapering more and more this month and hope to continue to do that more often in the coming months (after we get the next size up!).
Stella said mama and baba starting on mother's day and has since made some noises that sound a little like pa and da and la but that mostly happens when her mouth is full of food and she is rolling it around on her tongue.
Speaking of food, Stella has had sweet potato puree several times and liked it and she loves gnawing on slices of apple or pear. We are hoping to try peas and some other veggies in the next month. We are still nursing four or five times a day.
Yesterday Stella started getting up on her hands and knees on her very own and doing a little rocking/bouncing motion before falling back on her belly. She will only do this when no one seems to be looking and so it's very hard to catch on camera. If she sees you looking at her she will just lay there and kick her legs and smile. She definitely likes the attention. I did sneak some pictures though (they are bad b/c I literally grabbed the camera and pointed it in her direction and started clicking).

She can roll or scoot to just about anything she wants and so I think this is the beginning of the end... no more leaving her on the mat to do the laundry or dinner, she is curious about everything.
To celebrate her 7 month birthday (ok, not really because of that) we let her have a slumber party with my mentor and her three kids! They took her last night at bed time and let Drew and I have an overnight date and it was GLORIOUS. We went to this great pizza place and then came home and watched a movie. Then we got to sleep in (8 oclock!) and then went to this great breakfast place. We got to sit on the patio in the sun and it was about 65-70 degrees. Drew got the Hearty Breakfast which was three eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, pancakes, fruit and a biscuit!! WOW! He was gracious enough to share some of it with me and the pancakes tasted like funnel cake! I got a breakfast taco that was amazing and biscuits and gravy. It was the best breakfast outing ever! Then we went to pick up the little muffin and took her on a walk in their gorgeous neighborhood. She was so happy to see us.
Now she is napping and we are off to do yard work.
Happy Saturday!

(this is the same cabbage patch face I was famous for as a baby)

The Good, The Bad and...The Fussy?

2010-05-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was a whirlwind of craziness... but in a good sort of way. Saturday I attended a baby shower in honor of my dear friend and mentor's baby that they are adopting from Ethiopia. I had to get Stella up from a nap to go since Drew was working and so I cleverly put her down a little early so she would get at least an hour in before having to go. This worked like a charm and she was so wonderful and friendly the entire time. She came home and ate well and then took a monster nap in the afternoon. Success!! Sunday we had to attend morning services because we had a meeting at the evening service we usually attend and so we did the same trick with Stella Sunday morning but actually allotted her an hour and a half before church... she woke up after an hour. Oh no no no! She is so easy to train negatively but so hard to train positively (as far as sleep in concerned at least). So we left her in her crib until the hour and a half was up and then took her to church and she was still really great, though really hyper the whole time. Then we went out to lunch with a lot of friends, which was super fun for us but a bit of a stretch for the babe with only an hour of nap under her belt. She let me know this by peeing out of her diaper and all on my leg..yum! So we put her down for a nap and she took another decently long nap before night church... where she successfully stayed in the nursery during our entire meeting! YESSS! She only got upset when the other babies were crying and once they removed her from them she did fine! WOO HOO! The nursery workers were just as excited as we were!
So I knew that after this crazy weekend we would need a day to get back in sync with our real schedule so I only scheduled really calm things for us to do and left plenty of time for her usual naps. Thankfully it was also rainy outside, which helps keep the room dark for her nap. So she woke up super early, which threw off the schedule a bit but then went down well for her nap.. but then.. woke up after an hour. *sense the mother dread sinking in" I left her in there for a while (she wasn't crying, just talking to herself) and after a pretty long while she fell back asleep for about 30 minutes before it was time to eat. Then we went to the store and chilled a bit before going down for the next nap... I thought she'd take a nice long one again after such a short morning nap... but no... ONE. HOUR. AGAIN! Nooooo!
So I fed her, started a meal for some friends who just had a baby and went over to B-girl's house to have tea and bake my bread while we hung out. It was a lovely time, minus a slightly cranky baby. I came home, finished the dinner and drove it to the home of the family. On my way home with a hungry babe I started to hear this thud thud thud thud thud... and the car starts bumping and shaking and oh.no.you.have.to.be.kidding.me.this.feels.like.a.flat....
I have never... ever...ever gotten a flat tire while in the middle of driving somewhere. Did I mention that a few weeks ago we had about 5 flat tires (the same tire) over the course of about a week. UGH! Well, this was a different tire... but that previous tire is still not fixed and thus our spare is already in commission. It wasn't just low, or going flat... it was F.L.A.T! I couldn't even drive it with out the car going bazerk and was stuck in the middle of a road with no shoulder... really it was more of a bridge. And... it was pouring rain. Great!
So I get a hold of Drew and thankfully he was able to leave work since it was right at 7 and I was able to get ahold of road side service and had a friend come and get SJ and me so I could go home and feed her since it was already past her bed time by now.
So the bad news... flat tire, rain, no spare, no shoulder
The fussy... obviously, a hungry SJ
The good? I had just stopped at Sonic, there was a rainbow right in front of me, I had Harry Potter on CD to listen to, dinner was already fixed and our road side service is free! (and I have an amazing hubby and great friends!)
Not quite the laid back Monday I was hoping for.... but as far as unplanned adventures go, it could have been way worse!!

Movie Monday

2010-05-17T06:51:00.001-07:00

SJ likes to suck on her toes more than her thumb these days...

Toes... from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Proof!

2010-05-12T18:27:00.001-07:00

Talking from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Workin' on her "ba-ba's" and "ma-ma's"... and being cute, all at the same time!

Happy Mother's Day II

2010-05-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

So... What is Mother's Day like with a baby? I didn't have any expectations really, and this is a good and surprising thing if you know me!
Sunday morning I woke up with a little light gleaming in on me through the window... this is a good sign... it means the babe slept past 7am! Thank you baby Stella!
I hear a sudden cry and head up the stairs to feed her. Instantly the smell of poop hit me in the face. Oh goodness. Back down the stairs to get supplies (louder crying) and back up again. I pick up the babe and realize... oh my, wet wet wet. She has peed/pooped through her diaper, through her onesie, through her pants, through her sleeper, through the sheets and through the mattress pad. Yuck! Back down the stairs, with the supplies and wake up Drew to help me out. We get her cleaned up, a bath and head back up the stairs for breakfast. Happy Mother's Day? hmmmm...
After her breakfast we head back down stairs where Drew had a great breakfast of eggs and an english muffin! YUM! Happy Mother's Day!
Then after SJ goes back down for a nap, we headed upstairs to take a nap in the guest bed (SJ naps in our room). HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I am terrible at taking a nap but really awesome at needing one and this was the best mother's day present any one could have given me! I took a long nap and woke up in time to feed the babe her lunch. After this we ate at Qdoba b/c they had a BOGO for mother's. Some friends joined us and we had a great time up until time for SJs nap.
During the nap we sat outside and talked and then watched part of a movie.
SJ had dinner and we were off to church. They were taking free family photos and mailing them to people for Mother's Day. Then Drew treated me by holding SJ the whole time and taking her to the nursery. When they paged us (b/c she was so upset) he even went and got her. During communion we found out some of our best friends were in labor (a month early)!!
We came home and ate a small dinner and finished our movie. We cleaned up a little and went to bed!
What a wonderful Mother's Day. The best gift of all was a restful day with my wonderful Husband... there is seriously nothing better in my book!
It's hard to get back into the Monday groove (our longest day usually) after such fun and pampering!
Here's a little sneak peek at the sleeping babe about a month ago...

6 months from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it's Mother's Day already... where did March and April go? I also can't believe that I actually get to celebrate this day as an actual Mother! This time last year I was barely barely starting to show and still not really feeling a whole lot different or mother-y.
This year I have been initiated into the club... I have been pooped on, spit up on, stayed up all night, held an infant for 12hrs straight, made baby food, changed a diaper or two, given baths, enjoyed sweet smiles and slobbery kisses, heard the first coos and made a fool of myself in song and dance just to win another gummy smile. I have cried, laughed, sweated and given just about my all to this little baby. I am definitely a mother and there's no turnin' back.
I am so thankful on this day for a number of different people.
First of all... my own mom. Being a mom has made me look at her in a whole new light. I picture her young and pregnant with a little toddler already in the house. Then giving birth, nursing, working and taking care of her home. I know that there were times when she probably watched me sleep and stroked my skin and maybe gagged at a diaper or two. Her sacrifices are so evident now that I know what all it takes to be a mom. She was/is always always there for us... ready to listen or help. She stayed up to help me finish many a school project and run me to kinkos at 2am. She has always been my biggest cheerleader. She inspired me to love cooking and to take time to put love into every meal. She taught me to host others and to look for ways to bless others.
I am also thankful for my mother-in-law, who birthed my amazing husband (at home none-the-less!). She has extended loving arms to me since the very first time we met and I am so thankful to have such an amazing family through marriage... many are not as blessed. She is quick to lift us up in prayer and offers her support in every way she can. I am so thankful for her love for Jesus and for our family!
I am also thankful to the many moms here in Louisville who have let me be their shadow... they have taught me hands-on how to take care of little ones. They have shown me the joys and the sorrows and there is no way to express the value of these lessons. Courtney, Mandy, Meghan, Ginger, Heather... the list could go on... but I really am thankful for these women b/c though they are a step ahead in life, they have let me come alongside and treated me as a friend and have encouraged me in my journey of motherhood from the very beginning.
We aren't doing anything spectacular for Mother's Day but I'm sure we'll have some good eats and enjoy the amazing cool weather we are having!
Here's a sneak peek at our garden and our little Spring Chick!

Our first strawberry buds!

We are growing, strawberries, broccoli, zucchini, tomatoes and in the tires there are potatoes and a melon!
Thanks Gigi for my great sunglasses!

6 Months

2010-04-30T06:27:00.001-07:00

This update is coming a little late due to a very fussy/teething baby, no Internet and a whole host of ants in my kitchen. So, I know you will understand. I'll make it up to you... in pictures. =)
Stella had her 6 month check up a week ago and she was 29inches long (97%) and 17.11lbs (75%).
Our doctor re-gave us the go ahead on solids but I am still dragging my feet. I did make her some sweet potatoes in the puree form and in the sticks form... so I can do some baby-led weaning but also feed her a little if I choose. I've basically been driving my self insane trying to figure out what method I want to use and what foods I want to start her on etc etc. I think, like every thing else, I'm going to have to take a middle of the road stance. I wish I could be 100% baby-led weaning and just start her on solids and let her go at her own pace but at this point she is still not enjoying sitting up to eat even and yet is super interested in food and fussy at all naps and not gaining quite as much weight. So I'm going to give her a little puree to see if that helps get her jump started and then hopefully we'll quickly switch to the whole forms of food.
More than you cared to know? Sorry.
SJ has officially stopped being swaddled and has even learned to suck her thumb. This is a bittersweet thing for me because I too was a thumb sucker. In fact, I was an advanced, extreme, skilled thumb sucker. Confession: I sucked my thumb until the third grade, when my parents put so many appliances in my mouth that I couldn't even fit my thumb in. I don't want this for Stella. I don't want a thumb addict. However, a thumb is a lot easier to deal with than a paci. A thumb never gets lost and irretrievable in the bed. And, it's so darn cute... seeeee

I stole this shot of her during a nap but the pre-flash woke her up a little... don't worry, she went back to sleep.
In other news, I survived a night alone last week while Drew went on a manly men's retreat. I stayed home with a friend and watched girly movies and ate girly food (Panera!).
Wedding season is also upon us! This Sunday will begin a shotgun of weddings for us... 3 in the month of May and 2 in June. I am SO pumped for all of these weddings but we need babysitters! I also got a new savvy (hot pink with ruffles) dress and get to get one more for a wedding I'm semi-in.
I made it through April and a killer Spring with NO sinus infections and NO bronchitis. That might be a first! It has been a beautiful (and chilly) Spring and SJ has really been enjoying her stroller and car seat... which makes it that much better!
I'm also working on changing the way we eat/live. We are switching as much as possible to whole foods (aka no sugar free, fat free, high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated oils etc unless it's naturally that way). Don't worry... I'm not completely going off the deep end. I still enjoy the occasional (or occasionally frequent) Dr. Pepper and we still eat out and eat at other people's houses with out even worrying about it. We just want to start doing a little better in the home. I want the food we buy to be food... not chemicals (yes, I realize I am a total hypocrite and that soda is 100% chemical). I want to support farmers and companies that are working hard to be ethical in their treatment of humans, animals and the planet. I'll probably have to do a whole post on this soon... I'm still wrapping my mind around it and deciding which areas/foods we are going to change first. In all things, moderation here. I'm also trying to be a better homemaker by preparing things in advance/in bulk so that we will eat out less and also be healthier. So... this week's preview is homemade pizza crust! We love pizza...a lot... and it's SO bad for you. So I have started making my own whole wheat crust and tomato sauce and then turkey pepperoni (not whole or natural, I know). It turned out great! It got a little over done but that's what happens when babies want to nurse right after you put it in the oven! It was still tasty.

And the dough made enough for three pizzas and so did the sauce... so now I'm stocked for a couple more weeks' worth of pizza! Domestic Genius! haha
Well enough ado about nothing... here's what you really came here for....

Oh Stella Jane

2010-04-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

Stella is quite the mover and shaker these days.
First of all I am fairly certain that she is officially teething. The drool, which was already out of control, has reached new heights or maybe it's depths. Whatever it is... it's A LOT and it's all over everything! This is also confirmed by the lack of naps being taken in this house. SJ will look tired and be scheduled for a nap and I'll put her down and she'll talk and moan for a while (which she never has done at the beginning of a nap before) and then maybe drift off for 30ish minutes and then moan for a couple of hours. I have tried everything! I would go in and give her the paci, rock her, shhh her, get her up, let her cry etc etc and nothing was helping. We kept her up longer, put her down sooner... no naps were happening. Yesterday I about lost my wits. On top of this she is also either not eating much or becoming a speed eater and she moans (not a really sad moan but just a noise) while she eats. Hmm.. I had been holding out on the tylenol b/c I don't want to just give her drugs with out knowing what is really the case. But yesterday, at my wits' end I decided to check out the Hylands Teething Tablets I had from Whole Foods and I realized that it was totally homeopathic and that there wasn't anything harmful in them and they are all natural. So, I gave her a small dose right before a nap and bing bang, ladies and gentlemen we had a nap! However, it was the last nap, which she usually does take b/c she's so tired from a day of no napping... but still. So I tried it again this morning. Right before her morning nap I gave her a dose of it and she SLEPT HER WHOLE NAP THROUGH! I had to get her up when it was time to eat! YAHOO! So, that confirms it in my mind at least, that we are officially on the teething track.
I'm not really excited that she's teething but for her sake I hope they come in quick so she isn't in pain for long.
We also tried our first go at solid food... sweet potatoes. They were not a hit. She kept acting like she was gagging (even before I put them in her mouth) and then quickly spit them out each time. Thankfully, I am not in a hurry for her to take solids and thus just laughed about it the whole time. I let her try to eat them herself and she was really interested in squishing them but not in putting them in her mouth.
However, we did learn that she can drink from a straw. She is always reaching for my Sonic cups (which are full of WATER) and I always let her try and then Sunday she got a big mouth full... but drooled most of it on Dad. Yesterday and today I let her try some milk I had pumped after a feeding and she drank about an ounce each time! WOO HOO SJ! She also likes to drink her rice cereal from the bowl these days instead of being spoon fed... so I usually oblige, it's actually less messy.
Another new trick is rolling over in bed. She does this about once a a day it seems and it's usually if you leave her in her crib after she has awoken from a nap... she hates this trick and yet continues to do it. I think it's hilarious and can now pick out that particular cry that means, "I've rolled over and I can't get back!". HAHA!
SJ has received several nice presents from adoring gmas and so we had a little photo shoot... enjoy!

He Is Risen!

2010-04-05T15:31:00.001-07:00

He Is Risen Indeed!
Happy belated Easter to every one!
We had a fabulous Easter, especially considering how last minute all of our planning was and how sick we have all been around here!
First I want to comment on our Easter Service. We went to the evening service as usual but we chose to walk with SJ in the stroller since it was such a wonderfully nice day. This was great b/c I felt all energized for worship! The worship was so well thought out and pointed us again and again to the empty tomb of our Savior... and not only that... but what that empty tomb means for us today. It means no more guilt in life and no more fear in death!
I have mentioned that stuff has been rough around here for a while and that sometimes gets me a little down about the Lord... wondering what the work is He is doing in our lives... wondering if and when he will ever answer so many prayers we have been praying for a long time. Wondering if he really deeply loves us or if we are just ordinary... you know the thoughts. Well, Sundays are always such a great reminder for me to let go of all the guilt those doubts bring and let go of the fear and let the Holy Spirit work in my heart. I love going to a church where we sing such gospel centered songs b/c even when my faith has been weak all week, I can heartily sing songs that are filled with truth. And as I praise my Lord by declaring his awesomeness... I am also reminding my heart... remember, we know these things... they are true. It's always refreshing. Even more so on Easter Sunday! I was refreshed and reminded anew of my Savior's deep love for me and that God has a wonderful Plan that is unfolding even today and that he wasn't out of control when the Lord lay in the tomb and he is not out of control today, thousands of years after he rose again! Amen!
We had two really fun celebrations with our church family also! First we had brunch with some really great friends from our community group! I made a quiche with bacon, mushrooms and spinach and I was so thrilled it turned out perfect! I haven't made quiche in forever and I was unsure of the recipe but it all turned out great! We also had some roasted potatoes and a cinnamon french toast casserole. We also had juice and tea, which we drank in our crystal (made it seem much more festive!). We had so much fun and SJ did GREAT and napped the WHOLE TIME! I was amazed. She basically had the perfect schedule on Sunday and was so much fun all day long!
Then after church we had some more great friends come over and they brought with them a roast with potatoes and carrot (an all time fave of mine) and I made braided bread and individual chocolate/strawberry triffles! YUM. It was SO delicious and the company was outstanding. We talked about life and ministry and food... it was a really great time.
We also got to have a relaxing afternoon with just the two of us and we sat out on the porch and enjoyed the perfect weather.
I am so grateful for such a wonderful and restful day to celebrate our Lord!
Here are a few pictures we snatched... obviously none of them are great but they are fun nonetheless!

This Day

2010-04-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

What do you think this day was like 2000ish years ago?
As I sit here in my pjs I wonder if the day was a little like today. It's a little gloomy (the weather... not my emotions). It's still dark outside, although it's almost 11am and the house is completely quiet except a few comforting noises...the pit pat of rain and the click of the keyboard and the hum of my little space heater. It's a day for tea-drinking, cuddling, reading and reflecting.
What were the disciples feeling on this day?
I know that after a close friend or family member has died it seems to me like the next morning is always the weirdest. You have that crying hangover from the days, weeks or months preceding and probably very little sleep and then here is a new day and you don't know what to do with it. This person, who was a vital part of your life, whether mentally or physically is now gone and yet here is a new day... the world has just kept right on turning despite the fact that you are fairly certain it had stopped. So now you have to catch up... teeth still need brushing and bodies washing and food should be consumed at some point. Then, depending on your relation to the person there are all those details... funerals, clothing, all their possessions and letting every one know the news. It just doesn't seem real. I've only experienced this a few times (for which I am extremely thankful) but it is always during this period I find it hardest to cry b/c it just doesn't seem real. The day of, buckets of tears, the funeral and days following, tears tears, but this morning right after a devastating event just feels like holding my breath.
There is a lot of to-do about Good Friday and Easter Sunday (and rightfully so) but I wonder about this Saturday (though it probably wasn't a Saturday at all) and what it was like. Jesus, the beloved teacher, leader, friend and son... dead... tortured but also buried. Gone. Or seemingly so. They had Sabbath meals to prepare and attend and prayers to say... how could they have prayed? What did those prayers sound like? Did any one hope? Did they remember all those times their teacher had mentioned rising in three days? Rebuilding that temple? Did they deep deep down hold out hope?
I'm sure they were scared a little... the cross isn't a really appealing way to die and Herod and others like him were known for their paranoia and ruthless killings.
Were they quiet except for the occasional sob or sigh?
What are people thinking today?
I am sure there are people who think of themselves as high religious...whether Catholic, Baptist or whatever and are so wrapped up in preparing for the big day that they are forgetting what Easter is really about... the significance for their eternal soul! There are easter dresses to press and where are those white hose we bought and then all those white shoes and find your slip and the right hair bow. Others are fussing over the right table cloth and marinating the meat for just the right amount of time and worrying about what cousin so and so will say about this or that and who will sit by whom. Then there are the millions of children looking for that bunny and hoping for toys and candy and eggs and wondering when they can change out of those itchy clothes.
I wonder if there are others who are dreading their bi-annual visit to church. Wondering if they are missing something... if there is something more to it all or if this really is just an annoying ritual in a purposeless life.
What does the Pope feel on Easter... what about the homeless man downtown?
I just wonder what God sees and hears on this memorial day. I am confident there will be praise from thousands of faithful believers and I don't want to underestimate that... but if we could look the world over in one gaze, what would we see? If we could look our own hearts over what would we see?
For me, I almost forgot it was Easter. With a week long stomach bug, I didn't even know it was the weekend much less time for Easter. We don't have definite plans and I don't have a new outfit to wear. We won't go to church in the morning, but at the evening service like usual (which feels very un-Easter-y). We won't get to be with our families (well, not blood at least) and SJ won't have any clue that this day is any different from the other days when she eats, poops, sleeps and plays.
I pray that today my heart... our hearts... will be thankful that today doesn't have to be a gloomy and hopeless day for us because 2000ish years ago Christ went into the tomb and came out again! We don't have to wonder who the Messiah is or how we will ever accomplish all of the law. We don't have to fear even death because Christ already paid all our debts before God and allows us to come before Him with a clear conscience in His name and have peace (NO CONDEMNATION) with God!
So, Happy Easter a little early....Peace be with you!

On a Lighter Note....

2010-04-02T16:10:00.001-07:00

She is so stinkin' CUTE!

...It Pours

2010-04-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

With the coming of Spring, comes rain... and for us it has been more than just a literal down pour.
Have I mentioned this year has been rough? Yes? Well, it has. Starting about this time last year things just got a little sticky. Relationships were messy, I was pregnant (though I loved being pregnant there were some bumps along the way), Drew was still (and is still) stuck at a job he less than enjoys...etc etc.... there was just a lot going on. Those things began to let up just the slightest bit and beautiful SJ was born. Her birth was a little less than ideal as far as timing and fashion go but we were glad to have her. However, once she was born my body began to change... yes it got smaller (praise the Lord) but it also got a lot sadder. I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with all the information I had ingested while pregnant and now had to put to use. Overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility heaped on my shoulders. Overwhelmed by visitors I wanted to host properly but then was overwhelmed by sleep. Oh, it was overwhelming. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of anxiety and sadness and I could see every one on the shore waving at me and telling me to swim but no one could get in the water and teach me to swim. Thankfully the Lord dove in. In the midst of this, SJ became overwhelmed herself with colic and reflux and screamed for the next two months almost non stop. Oh my. Then just as things were getting a little better we flew to Texas for a few weeks and had tons of crazy travel and late nights etc etc. Though it was fun... it was still hard on top of everything else. Then Drew took a major hit in the job department and we felt like we were at rock bottom... no a little lower than that because we definitely felt rocks on top of us too. We just felt like we hadn't had a chance to catch our breath since April. Whew. We weren't sad to see 2009 go by.
In January I thought we were seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. My anxiety and sadness were disappearing thanks to the wonderful power of the Lord and his Spirit working in me (and thanks to the helping hands he sent on earth to challenge me and turn me to him again and again). I let go of so much mommy stress and let Stella just grow into who she was going to be and she started evening out a little too. Drew's work was still the same but at least there was some routine established there. Then the colds came. I started feeling a little icky and got onto tackling it but before I knew it Drew was sick (he rarely gets sick) and he just hasn't really gotten over it since! He will get sick and mend just enough over the weekend or day off that he gets only to turn back to work and fall into it all again. Then he got a stomach bug and had to miss the baby dedication on top of all that and Stella started teething and this was getting me a little down again. Ok, maybe more than a little.
Drew got better just in time to celebrate his birthday last weekend (thanks for every one who came, it made it so great to have so many loving faces greet him) and then wham...bam...slap... I woke up Monday morning with a bad bad feeling... you know it, the tossing and turning of the stomach that can only mean one very bad thing. I laid very still and prayed not to throw up... a request granted to me at a very very high and frequent cost (if you get my drift)... and then ungranted (if that's a word) at about 6pm at which time I began to throw up every thing left in me... most of it still recognizable... sick. I HATE TO THROW UP. I will do almost anything to not throw up... so after an already long and hard day of losing my contents, this was torture. Drew had to take off two more days in order to take care of Stella and me b/c I could not do a single thing but moan... I literally couldn't even cry (though I wanted to) because I felt like that would be wasting any hydration I had left to nurse Stella with.
Finally yesterday I felt better enough (with some help from friends) for Drew to return to work. He got home and our neighbor comments that we have a flat tire (again)... they try to air it up... no go.. .it's a hole. So Drew comes in and takes the other car to get me some soup (b/c I still couldn't stand long enough to cook) and after he comes out with the food the car won't start... and he forgot his phone... and my phone is on silent b/c I'm wrestling, I mean nursing SJ in the other room....
CAN WE ALL JUST LAUGH NOW?!?!?!
I mean seriously... I could keep going but really, let's just all laugh at how absurd this is getting!
Oh wait... just one more thing... then... today... we had our roof redone
hahah ho ho ho ho hehehe... if you have ever had this done you are laughing with me b/c you understand how hilarious it is for a recovering sick woman with a small baby to be stranded at home with no car and with vaulted ceilings and hard wood floors while her roof is being redone.... hahaha ho ho... it hurts really... oh my.
Ok, seriously. Back to the point.
I am seriously laughing... I'm really not bitter (tired yes, but seriously not being sarcastic!). The Lord has done a lot of growing, pruning and refining in our lives during this last year and especially during this last month. I had a loving friend rescue me from my house today with a car seat for SJ and everything. I have had countless people pray for us, bring us meals, send encouraging words and just hang out. Hey, we got a new roof out of the deal for only the cost of our copay! I am launching into a healthier lifestyle for our family. I still have milk to offer SJ after 3 days of no food or drink.
The Lord is sovereign and so gracious to us. He is soooo long suffering with my constant sin and rebellion. He is full of ever lasting loving kindness and I am so so thankful that he has given me so many worldly comforts and yet also loves me enough to discipline me and refine me. I don't know when the light at the end of the tunnel will be the present and though I long for that day, I am also overjoyed to think about the woman I will be because of all he has led me through instead of continuing to be the woman I was forever (worrying, comparing, stressed, perfectionist).
So let's laugh and all say that it is so so very true that for the Lewisi... when it rains, it pours!

Great News

2010-04-01T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite bloggers is offering a free giveaway from Lime Ricki bathing suits. These are THE CUTEST, MODEST....let's say that again... CUTE AND MODEST bathing suits I have ever seen. I wanted one last summer but was huge pregnant so I held my breath and waited until this summer... the day I was going to purchase one I saw she would be hosting a giveaway and/or promo code for a discount so I waited a little longer and here it is... I'm only sharing this with you b/c of my selfish desire for another entry... not b/c I want you to win it (just being honest hahaha)... b/c I want me to win it... however, since I NEVER win things, I would be happier if some one I knew won... so go ahead and check it out... here's the link
Even if you don't do the giveaway you should check out Lime Ricki online... I'm going to get the Claire top (I mean it's name is Claire, my sis' name... and it's cute!)
In other news, I am sick sick sick and have been since monday (you don't want the details, trust me).
Today is the first day I've been able to even sit up for more than a few minutes with out dire consequences and a friend just took SJ and so I'm actually headed back to bed.
Please be praying for us that we will all get well and that SJ will be spared from any sickness from her parents.

Happy 28th!

2010-03-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

Today is the 28th birthday of the man that I adore.
I can honestly say that Drew is the largest blessing that I have ever received (and I don't mean physical stature)! Drew has such a caring heart and a desire to help others in any way he can. He is known to empty his pockets for those in need and is deeply hurt when those around him are hurting. The hubs is also pretty hilarious and can be seen on any given day cracking up his wife and daughter with many a dance move or funny accent. Over the last three years I have been so privileged to watch the Lord grow Drew as the leader of our home and in our church. I have seen him go from the quiet listener (which he often still is) to the shepherd who isn't afraid to preach it! Drew works tirelessly at a pretty thankless job in order to provide for his babes and he has been honored and respected there too (as evident by his many promotions). I know the Lord has good things in store for Drew and I am looking forward to the end of a very hard season in our lives and hopefully a little more sunshine in his 29th year of life!
Please be praying for Drew that the Lord would continue to grow him through out this next year of life. Please pray for his health (he's been sick on and off for over a month now) and that the Lord would provide a new opportunity for a job where he can glorify the Lord and use his passions/talents.
Feel free to leave a word of encouragement to Drew in the comments!

Baby Dedication

2010-03-22T10:08:00.001-07:00

Here's the video of the baby dedication... more background story to come... Drew wasn't there b/c he was really sick all weekend.
Don't watch this if you are bored easily... it's mostly for family who couldn't attend.

Baby Dedication from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Cereal Footage

2010-03-21T16:50:00.001-07:00

Cereal from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

we've gotten a lot better at this since then.... 5 months tomorrow!

Spring!

2010-03-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

It's officially Spring in my world!

Thank you gma Susie for making Spring such a wonderful reality.
Just after SJ was born Drew's parents came to visit and catch a glimpse of their first grandbaby. While they were here Gma S dug out all the weeds in the flower bed by the stairs and planted some flowers. I had no idea what she planted (too tired to care at the time) and so when little green shoots began to spring from the ground I started to get excited! This week our daffodils are in full bloom... they are the first daffodils I have seen in our neighborhood or around town! They really make our home so much brighter. Then today our little tree started blooming pink and white flowers all over! We are in the process of digging up the bush version of that same tree on the other side of the yard in order to plant our garden! We got Drew and axe for his birthday so he can finish the bush off. I am planning on tomatoes and zucchini for sure. I also planted some basil, cilantro and spinach in the other little flower bed gma S dug up by the porch! Yay for Spring and fresh flowers, herbs and veggies. I can't wait to see if they will grow. I purchased a beautiful black, white and pink watering can... I'm sure that the plants will want to grow even more once they realize they are being watered from a pretty watering can. =)
Tomorrow SJ is being dedicated at our church. I am so excited and hope to post video of the dedication after it happens. We got SJ the cutest little dress that will double as her Easter dress (it was about $10!). It's brown with pink polka dots and pink leggings to match! She is seriously cute. In other SJ news... she is still growing like a weed... now in 6-9mo. clothes! We are realizing more and more that we are going to have a hard time keeping this one in clothes... she outgrows them so fast and we don't have much from here on out... I'm keeping my eye on sales (we also accept donations =) ). I think that SJ is also at the very beginning of the teething process (another milestone I am not ready for!). If you put your finger in her mouth she will bite on it instead of sucking on it most of the time. She is drooling even more than before (who knew this was possible) and has been eating less and a little grumpy. I don't feel anything for sure yet but it seems like that might be around the next corner. She is still so much fun and full of smiles though. She is also getting better and better at sitting up on her own and is able to roll over to either side from her back (she can roll all the way over but refuses to do it any more). She will be 5months old this week! So little and yet so big!
Here's a sneak peek at a photo shoot that will be used for gma presents and the baby dedication....

**photo credit to Bethan Rogers**

Rice Cereal

2010-03-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

So, remember when I said I needed to brace myself for the fact that I might need to start SJ on rice cereal before I would like to? Well, I was right. Our doctor suggested at four months that we start some rice cereal. I thought about it and decided, "no thank you"... at least for now. SJ is growing great, which makes me want to continue to nurse until there is a more substantial need. Plus, there is just this stigma that good nursing moms don't start solids until the latest possible date. I've got to get these things out of my head!
Well, last week SJ finished her one month round of Prevacid and we were still hearing lots of wheezing/gurgling sounds from her as well as other signs of reflux. We are not sure if her naps are also influenced by the reflux but she is still irregular about taking good naps. So I called to ask the doctor what to do and he asked the dreaded questions, "have you started the rice cereal"... ummm, well, nooo. So, he told us he really wanted us to try it just to see if it would help keep the reflux down. So, dragging my feet... we tried it this weekend. I needed Drew for moral support. I made it per the directions and it was really soupy. She didn't even eat a teaspoons' worth. We also had to switch from the bumbo to the bouncy seat b/c she isn't great at sitting up and focusing on eating.
I will admit, I was relieved she didn't love the stuff and continues to spit it out as fast as I can drip it in. I'm trying to give her about half a tablespoon in the morning and in the late afternoon but we have yet to finish that much even. I also got the doctor to refill the prescription with the agreement that it might take a while (cough cough... another month..) for her to really take the cereal... or anything enough to actually help with the reflux. So I'm giving her half a dose of meds and a few sips of cereal and hoping to wait until closer to six months to actually dive into this "solids" stuff full force.
I'm also thinking that when we do start solids we will skip pureed foods for the most part... I've give them to her some (maybe once a day) but then we're going to just let her start with squishy solids and see how that goes. Or so, that's my plan for now. It's from a book called baby-led weaning that I read about and just ordered from Amazon.
It's amazing how much I was looking forward to solid foods when I was dealing the the nursing strike and other complications and now that it's here I am dragging my feet. It is hard to see my baby hitting such a huge milestone already! I didn't think it would be as emotional a decision as it has been! I'm still looking forward to seeing her grow and develop and enjoy new foods but I am happy to wait another month or so b/c I will never have these exclusively nursing days back.
So, here's a video of SJ and her first cereal experience and then a picture that completely explains why I am reluctant to give up any nursing time with my baby. Enjoy!
*** Sorry, I've been trying to upload this video for HOURS and it still isn't processed... I need some one to teach me a better way to upload videos on here. Enjoy the picture instead!

Rejoice!

2010-03-06T10:24:00.000-08:00

It has been so busy around here!
About a week and a half ago my grandmother passed away and at the last minute the hubs, babe and I were on a plane heading to Texas. There were a lot of uncertainties and possible inconveniences with traveling with SJ and with last minute travel at that but I have been meaning to post this blog for a while and have you all praise the Lord with me for all that he did!
First of all, I was nervous about taking SJ on the plane because she would miss a nap or two and thus be very very fussy... have I mentioned that SJ will also NEVER nurse in public and screams when we give her a bottle. I think I have. She is so sensitive that if a plane flies overhead while she is eating, she will stop, let out an angry cry and give me a dirty look before resuming. I have to hold back from laughing b/c if I make a peep she will start to talk to me and laugh and smile and never eat another bite. Oh my. Also, if any one talks or even walks in the room she jerks away and begins searching for them... so how on earth would I get her to nurse on a plane. I knew that if she was tired and hungry there was a very good chance of a storm blowing in... so we bought two packs of ear plugs for our plane mates and hoped for the best.
Stella did great. She was a bit fussy at first (obviously tired and wanting to go down and for us to quit holding her) but when it came time to eat I just slipped her under the nursing cover (the one that I made and have never had a chance to use) and she ate like a champion and then fell asleep in my arms. She awoke right before landing and sat happily with her daddy through it all. Wow, I was stunned! We got to the house after missing two naps and she went right to sleep on the guest bed. Amazing!
Through out the week she missed several naps and was passed to many strangers and though she wasn't perfect by any means, she did great. She broke a few hearts when she wouldn't let people hold her (sorry mom) and stole a few more from friends and family who had never met her.
The whole time we were there she slept and ate relatively well (minus one night when she woke up 3 times... oye!)... as for Drew and I... well, we ate well at least! haha.
On the plane ride back SJ barely made a peep. She was content to sit for a while and then again ate amazingly well and then chilled with us on the plane the rest of the time. Several people commented that they didn't even realize a baby was on the plane until they got off.
We got home and she pretty much transitioned right back into normal. She even started a more consistent 31/2-4 hr schedule. She has been flopping around back and forth between 21/2-4 for a little over a month now and I'm glad she's finally settled into her new big girl schedule. She also ate in public again that Sunday at church with the cover... I'm hoping this is a new trend!
Another huge praise is the reconciliation that has taken place amongst many members of our family. I have never met any of my mom's family outside of her parents that I can remember. They were always distant relatives who didn't like us for some reason or another. Well, when my grandmother became very ill, these members showed up to sit by her side. It turns out... they thought WE didn't like THEM. There was a lot of miscommunication and maybe a little bit of manipulation going on for years and in a matter of days they became our family. They were so fun to be around and I even learned more about my grandmother than I had ever known before from these great women.
My mom's birthday was a few days after the funeral so we were also able to celebrate with her before we flew back home.
On a worse note, my dad came down with a crazy stomach bug the morning of the funeral and my sister got it the next morning... I was a little concerned that we would get it or even worse, that SJ would get it but we all returned home with our tummies intact!
So though funerals are never a fun occasion to get together, this one brought about many blessings and reasons to rejoice along with it.

Stats...

2010-02-23T14:45:00.000-08:00

Height 27in Off the charts... so we'll round down to 100th percentile
Weight 15.4lbs 90th percentile
Head... not sure but I think still 75th percentile.

SJ

2010-02-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Four Month Birth-Day to SJ!
We go tomorrow to get her stats and I will update you all then.

Not much has changed since her three month birthday but she has just continued to progress in the same things. She is learning to bear weight on her legs better and is able to sit up straight with minimal help, which she loves. She is also learning to kick her feet up and over and is really close to being able to roll from her back to her stomach... the problem is, she has no desire to be on her stomach, so why try?! Stella showed us over a month ago that she is capable from rolling from her stomach to her back but since then has become completely bored with the trick and will not do it and will resist help in doing it. She would much rather plant her mouth on those hands and suck away.

This month has been tough for SJ because she caught her first cold, which lingered for quite a while and her reflux has flared back up again and thus her meds have changed. All of this has made her very disinterested in long naps or feeding. She will only nurse for a few minutes and then would rather have a conversation with me and/or suck on her hands.
When she is awake (as in, supposed to be awake) she is very happy and content. She loves her bouncy seat and watching mom or dad do the dishes, clean floors and cook. She also has a very close relationship with the ceiling fan. SJ is talking more and more and can often be heard from across the house talking to various objects that interest her.
SJ has become quite the mommy's girl and I am trying to soak it up for all it's worth b/c I know that it will be short lived. She is so much so, she refuses to take a bottle or be put to bed by any one else.
She has been waking up at 4am and we have been slowly but surely trying to move that time to 6 or 7 and with the help from our friend, the paci, she is making progress.
Our current dilemma is that we swaddle SJ up before every nap and she has gotten too big for the small swaddle but is too skinny for the next size up. So she wiggles her hands up and out of the swaddle with in a matter of minutes. However, if she gets her hands out, she won't sleep b/c they wake her and bother her. So we have been giving her the paci to distract her from trying to get her hands out and thus now she is used to a paci before bed. ugh. This wouldn't be too big of a worry except that we want to stop swaddling her and can't b/c if her hands are free she will knock the paci out and then keep herself awake with her hands. Oh the dilemma. So now I have a love/hate relationship with the swaddle. Comments and advice are welcome.
I can't wait until Spring when we will be able to go outside and enjoy the sun and nice weather. There is a whole world that SJ hasn't met yet! The spring will also bring the introduction of solid foods for SJ, a slew of weddings and hopefully a garden!

Baby Faces

2010-02-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

I think she has a little bit of her mommy in there somewhere! Almost 4 months old!

Things I "love" on Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T07:11:00.001-08:00

I'll start with the obvious...Drew, Stella, our families and our community

Now to the lesser loves...
All things pink (but not pastel)
Apples
Brownies
Cinnamon
Fun Shoes
Purses
Warm Socks
Working out
Pizza
Hamburgers
Lost
Heroes
Reading
Jeans
Singing
Dr. Pepper
Country Drives
NPR
Classical Music
Breakfast
Baking
Eating Out
Sleeping/naps
Movies

What do you love? (yes, I realize that we don't really LOVE these things but we'll use lower case love since it's Vday)
Any one notice that most of mine revolve around food? hmmm

No Naps

2010-02-11T11:01:00.000-08:00

Stella is hitting some sort of bump in her schedule these days. For a few days she was really wiggly when trying to eat and then in the middle of her naps she would wake up screaming. It wasn't a hungry or bored cry like usual but an all out scream that sent my mind and heart back two months when this scream was my constant companion through out the day. It is enough to bring tears to your eyes. We had already thought that maybe SJs meds were starting not to work and maybe need a switch and this painful cry was just enough to send us over the edge and call the doctor.
We switched her to Prevacid and hoped this would cure the issue. That was yesterday... and we haven't had a full nap since! She was fussier than usual and had a huge poop that afternoon, which we thought would make it better. She barely ate at all during the day and then woke up once during the night... which she never does! She woke up just as early as usual and barely ate again and then didn't go back to sleep for her first nap, which is usually her 2-3 hour nap. I finally went up to see what she was talking to and this is what I found.... (see video)
She still isn't eating or napping well but I guess we'll give it a few more days before we bug the doctor again.
If you've got the cure, we're all ears!

Wearing Your Baby-Wisely

2010-02-08T11:11:00.001-08:00

For those of you not up to date in the parenting world... this title is a play on parenting styles that my husband so niftily thought up.
One of the hardships in motherhood is finding the right parenting style that fits your marriage, emotional, physical, spiritual and time needs. We know many many AMAZING families who follow a book called Baby Wise. This might be even more controversial than Harry Potter in a Christian school! The book is all about babies fitting in to their parent's life style and not the other way around. The author promotes a feed/wake/sleep schedule every 2.5/3hrs and letting children cry it out for naps. His main platforms are getting your child a full feeding and a long nap and sleeping through the night. I really don't understand why this book is so controversial. People claim that some babies fail to thrive on this system and I guess that's when their parents don't use common sense and feed their babies when they are hungry before 2.5hrs. The author repeatedly states that if you think your baby is crying from pain or hunger, get them and tend to their needs first.
The other camp are the people who believe that you should carry your baby in a sling all day long and sleep with them at night and offer them the breast every time they cry. I didn't know any one in this camp until recently and every one I had previously met was super extreme and had their three year olds sleeping in bed with them and their babies never slept through the night etc etc... However, now some of the most beautiful mothers I know and honestly envy fall into this style of mothering.
So where am I? I am a failure to both camps and I think that is really hard for me because, like most women, I want to fit in. I want to be accepted and think that I am part of this special and maybe even elite group. I am also a rule follower and have felt that if I followed all of the rules of one of these camps that my baby would be perfect: expert nurser, nap champion and sleeping through the night and of course she would never, NEVER cry.
I read babywise and I thought it was a pretty good outline for a plan. So after about two weeks I started to try and regulate feeding and napping. However, SJ was already a really great self regulated baby. She went 3-4 hours between feedings on her own. However, I was told this was WAY TO LONG for her to go and so I would spend hours trying to wake her to eat. I was a nervous wreck that I was ruining my baby or starving her or not loving her right. Week three hit us like a ton of bricks because that's when the screaming began. Our doctor thought she had reflux before this but seeing as she was happy and sleeping, we dismissed it. Then the signs got worse and worse and the screaming got louder and longer. We finally put her on medication (read here: something only inadequate moms do to their babies) and threw babywise out the door. I didn't care if SJ slept on my head, in my arms, in a swing or in the car... I just needed her to sleep... she needed to sleep... we all needed sleep! So, I started trying to soothe her any time she cried in whatever way I could in order to help her to sleep. Thankfully for me, she never wanted to nurse other than the 3-4 hour scheduled feeding but she did want to be held, rocked, sushed, rocked, held, patted, rocked etc etc.... so I did. I watched many a movie and listened to many a sermon with that little newborn SJ. So in my mind, I was a babywise failure because my baby wouldn't sleep and I couldn't stand to let her cry it out (though I tried many hours worth of it).
Well, since I was holding my babe all the time and letting her boss me around... I thought maybe I'd float over to the other camp. I already counted myself as a failure in this camp because of my natural child birth gone wrong but I got a sling and was prepping my cloth diapers (bought before she was born) and was enjoying a very successful nursing experience. However, when the colic crazies started the last thing I could think about was cloth diapering and all the special instructions that came with them. I literally started getting an anxiety attack while reading the 17page hand out on how to care for these diapers. So I put them off for a while, to weather the storm and use all the free diapers we had been given. Then came the nursing strike. My over abundant milk supply dwindled to almost nothing as my little SJ decided nursing was rather odious to her for over a week. So obviously, I failed out of this camp as well.
So where does this leave me?
This leaves me first of all, boasting about my weakness. I can honesty say that it is my weakness that keeps me out of these camps. I am not super mom and I don't always know how to handle the bumps of parenting with style and ease. It is only in Christ's strength that I can feed, change and care for my little one every day with out either of us having a melt down.
Second of all, this leaves me with changed expectations. I am really trying to catch my expectations before I fail another misplaced standard. For instance.. I do not want to feed SJ solid food until 6 months b/c that's what all the cool kids say is best. However, SJ is still not eating great since her strike and thus might need to have a supplement sooner than that.. and I need to be okay with that. I want to exclusively nurse my baby for as long as possible but I cannot make my child eat more than she is willing to eat and I need to do what is best for her to continue to grow healthy and strong. I also want to be up to date on all the best foods and vitamins to give my chid so she can have the right start to a healthy and happy life. However, at some point I have to trust the Lord to be the one to grow her into a healthy woman as I do my best with our budget and priorities to provide for her well.
Lastly this has taught me not to judge. Oh how easy it is for us to compare ourselves to others... people we might not even know and judge the way they discipline their children or give formula or even how they dress etc. When we find people that do not meet our standards we then feel better about ourselves and have a little less doubt about our capabilities. In the same sense, we can judge wrongly by thinking every one else has it together and then condemning ourselves as a failure. My husband tells me again and again and again to stop comparing myself. Every person is different and every baby is different and thus no mother/baby combo will ever be cookie cutter. What works for other moms, might not work for me. Other people may not get sad after having a baby, some people might get even more sad than I was. Some moms will be up and cooking meals for other people right away and others might take longer to adjust. Some people have husbands who are home often to help... other moms might be parenting completely solo. SJ has taught me again and again to let go of my preconceived notions and standards and to give grace and more grace... to myself and others.
(she is taking the point all the way home by crying as I type when she needs at least another hour for a nap... oh those expectations again...)
Please don't feel like you need to tell me I am not a failure. I know.
I am learning and growing into the mommy the the Lord wants me to be and trying to stop focusing on the mommy I wanted to be or the mommy he wants other people to be.
I am falling right into the middle of both camps and while it doesn't make me cool or exclusive, maybe it will help me be a comfort to all those other moms who are destined to join me there.
So this once black or white girl is becoming a little gray.

Month 3

2010-01-25T11:54:00.000-08:00

Stella has officially turned three months old! I keep saying this, but I can't believe we made it this far. I remember at week two and three having people tell me to just hold on until six weeks... I never thought I would make it alive... but I did and then when things still weren't better people said... just wait until three months... and I never thought I would make with my sanity intact ... but here we are.
It's true.. Stella Jane is such a different baby at three months old. She is still fussier than her pals and a pretty picky eater but let me tell you what is wonderful about SJ...
SJ sleeps 8-10 hours a night consistently.
SJ usually takes a nap for a couple of hours at least twice a day (this is REVOLUTIONARY for the baby who NEVER slept or stopped crying during the day).
After said naps, SJ usually has up to an hour of happy play time.
SJ has learned to laugh and tries very hard to talk to us.
SJ can roll from her tummy to her back, when she feels like it.
SJ is 13.8 lbs!!
See! She is much improved!!
We went in for some shots on her three month birth-day and she was such a champion! She didn't even cry until the first shot was over and then cried for less than a minute with the second shot! I guess those shots are nothing compared to the reflux issues she deals with on a daily basis.
Sadly, three months has not been the cure for Stella's reflux and gas issues, in fact, they almost seem worse lately. At four months we will re-evaluate her meds situation. Our doctor is also considering a barium swallow test that would allow us to see exactly what is going on in her mouth, throat and tummy when she eats... it would be a last result since it is obviously no fun for baby to go through such an ordeal and as long as she continues to gain weight and seem happy at least some of the time, we will wait it out.
As far as mom and dad are concerned... it's hard to know what to write. I have avoided posting much on my blog for fear of sounding like a broken record and sob story again and again. I think the hubs would agree that 2009 was the hardest year of either of our lives. We have gone through so many trials with friends and just in general have had a lot going on... and then we threw SJ into the mix and everything just turned upside down.
However, I am so thankful that through all the trials D and I have been able to stick together. Our marriage has been the greatest blessing in my life and I am so so grateful for such a wonderful husband and best friend to fight through life together. He is the most compassionate man I have ever met and continually amazes me in his pursuit of the Lord in all things. He brings peace and grace to this home.
I am also thankful that these trials have dragged us kicking and screaming back to the Lord again and again. I was reflecting today on the idea that it is quite possible that with out constant struggles in my life I would wander from the Lord's path and think that I was sufficient to do life on my own. In that case, I am so grateful for trials that keep me close to my Savior... though I wish I could just stick close to him with out trials... maybe one day.
I want to revamp this blog a little and that is another reason I have been absent. I am not exactly sure which direction I want to take it. But I can tell you, whatever it turns into will be raw. I know many of our friends and family read this blog and I just want every one to be okay with the real deal. When there are struggles I want to be able to hash it out with out any one worrying that I am losing it. And when I am joyful, I don't want any one to assume our lives are perfect. We all struggle and perhaps if we were a little more open with each other, we wouldn't feel so alone when it comes our turn to be hurt, tired or confused.
Just a few thoughts I am chewing on.
In the mean time... here are some videos of SJ that really only the really invested will probably enjoy b/c like most babies.. .she isn't doing anything revolutionary... but for those who are far away it might give you the feeling you were here.
(sorry that the lighting is bad in some of them... but like I said... she is sort of picky about her conditions at times)

Made the Cut

2010-01-21T14:06:00.001-08:00

I finally took the plunge... it was time for a cut and I figured... if I am going to cut 4-6 inches... why not just do 11 and be able to do something useful with the waste.
So I donated my hair and got a lot more baby friendly in the process...
(ps. I don't want to hear ANY comment about "mom hair", joking or otherwise)

2 Months and a Whole Lot of Crazy!

2009-12-29T15:45:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted! It's been a whirl wind around here.
First about SJ. Since her one month check up SJ has been getting progressively better. She seemed to slowly come out of all that colicky stuff and gradually responded to her reflux meds as well. She started sleeping consistently through the night by around 6wks... but still no sleeping during the day. Right before we left for TX she started taking morning naps and some other short naps in the swing! She did great on the plane both times and did really well in Texas considering all the moving and late nights she was put through.
Today she went in for her two month check up and she is 11.12lbs and 24inches long. She is in the 75th percentile for weight and for head size and in the 100th percentile for height! I can't believe it... she is one tall chic!
She also got two (out of six they normally do) vaccines and thankfully only one was a shot and she only cried for a second! woo hoo.
The past few days have been a little rough and definitely a flash back to the colic days but I am hoping it is just a phase and that she'll over come it soon. Really soon...
While we were in Texas we celebrated my little sister's wedding. It was really really crazy to do all the wedding houpla with a two month old but we all made it through. The bachelorette party was a blast, the bridal luncheon was tasty, the rehearsal was quick and the wedding was beautiful and very thoughtful! Aunt Cece was so beautiful and I was so blessed to be able to stand by her side for this special occasion. I am doubly glad that they are finally married and get to enjoy being together and not just engaged and long distance!

After all the wedding stuff was over we headed to Dallas to see Drew's fam and Stella got to meet Great Stella (Gran) for the first time. We had a little photo shoot (which I'm also considering her two month pics) and you can look at them here
We were supposed to have Christmas with my family on Christmas Eve but thanks to some beautiful and troublesome snow things went a little differently than planned. Claire and Cal got delayed several hours and ended up not getting home until 1am. My dad and uncle were gone trying to retrieve them from about 5pm on... which left a bunch of women, a screaming baby, Drew and my two cousins to wait things out. We finally ate without them and SJ fussed the whole time. Finally she ate and went to bed and I followed suit. We didn't do presents and I didn't even stay up for dessert... it was all very weird. Thankfully we were able to have some time with them the next morning as we all ate breakfast and opened our gifts. I think it really taught us all a wonderful lesson though about what is important. When you have a wedding, a baby and snow... there is very little that matters other than just spending time with those that are important to you and reflecting on Christ. Drew kept reminding us that tradition for traditions sake isn't worth it!! So we all tried to be laid back and go with the flow and I am so thankful for my family and the time we did get together.
On the way back to Dallas SJ got to meet her Gran Gran (my grandmother on my mom's side) and it was a sweet meeting. She isn't doing so well and wasn't able to be with us for Christmas and so it was extra special to be able to take Stella to see her on that day!
We then celebrated Christmas with 20ish people on Drew's side and it was quite the whirlwind as well. SJ was just about fed up with all the festivities and faces and so we were constantly juggling her in the midst of trying to love on family we rarely see.
All in all we were so blessed... blessed to be able to be around our family and friends during such a special season. We were also blessed with many thoughtful (and cute) gifts for ourselves and for SJ.
We were sad to go because these trips never seem long enough... but we were also glad to get back home and get SJ settled back in her own space with her own gear... I'm not sure how we made it two weeks with out a swing but my arms are definitely sore! haha
So now we are back to jobs and church and schedules and friends... the good, the mundane, the hard.... our life.

Happy One Month Birthday SJ!

2009-11-23T08:15:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Stella celebrated her first birth-day... hurray!
She celebrated by sleeping just a little during the day after a week-long protest of day time sleeping and still managed to sleep for 6ish hours at night! She also mastered rolling on to her stomach and side during the night when no one was looking (amazing and terrifying).
Stella got to play with her Aunt Claire and her mom and dad on her birthday and didn't have any wheat in her milk all day (I cut out wheat starting yesterday to see if it helps with the gas issues) and got her third dose of probiotics (which seem to be helping with the gas too). She also went to church and blew out her diaper (first blowout outside the house) on dad during the sermon ("it's my party I can poop if I want to").
Today she got to go visit her pediatrician and find out just how wonderful she is. We're also re-evaluating the reflux issue... again.
Update: Weight 9.14 Height 221/2
Started up on Zantac for the reflux

**pictures thanks to jschmale

Tagged

2009-11-19T09:24:00.001-08:00

My friend and former band director gave me a blog award on her blog and so now I have to fill out these questions using only one word....

Where is your cell phone? table
Your hair? ponytail
Your mother? helpful
Your father? under-cover-softy
Your favorite food? salty
Your dream last night? disney
Your favorite drink? dr.pepper
Your dream/goal? write
What room are you in? living
Your hobby? baking
Your fear? lonely
Where do you want to be in 6 years? plugged-in
Where were you last night? couch
Something that you aren’t? Spontaneous
Muffins? banana
Wish list item? sleep
Where did you grow up? Texas
Last thing you did? nurse
What are you wearing? Pajamas
Your TV? computer
Your pets? Stella?
Friends? working
Your life? transition
Your mood? neutral
Missing someone? Drew
Vehicle? Subaru
Something you’re not wearing? socks
Your favorite store? Target
Your favorite color? Pink
When was the last time you laughed? morning
Last time you cried? evening
Your best friend? Drew
One place that you go to over and over? Sojourn
One person who emails you regularly? Claire
Favorite place to eat? ChickFilA

In other news, everybody's favorite baby turns four weeks old today at 4:43pm! She is celebrating by refusing all of her morning naps.... I am celebrating by letting her protest in her new swing (from the FW grandparents)!
I can't believe how fast babies change from week to week. Just two weeks ago I remember feeling like I couldn't do this... I didn't feel like I could make it to the next feeding, much less the next day or week. I was so overwhelmed with her crying and with being responsible for all of her needs. The Lord has been so faithful to answer our prayers over the last few weeks for peace, joy, strength and rest... I'm already feeling so much better and Stella and I are getting used to each other more and more each day. We are all learning how to do life when dad (the best husband and dad ever... seriously) is away at work most of the day. Don't get me wrong... I still get overwhelmed and still shed a tear here and there on those rough days when nothing makes her happy... but I also feel blessed to have been entrusted with this little one and to have so many family and friends supporting me through out all the ups and downs.
Monday is SJ's one month well check up and we'll get to see how much she weighs and what her percentages are and ask all of those burning first time parent questions we've been saving up (like: is it okay if she has so much gas... is it okay if her poop is green... is it okay if she poops 8 times a day). I'll keep you all posted!

I couldn't get these pics downloaded... so for more pictures of SJ go to:

http://jessicaschmalephotography.smugmug.com/
Album: Stella Jane
Password: Lewis

Three Weeks

2009-11-13T06:49:00.000-08:00

I am three weeks old! Can you believe it?
It's amazing because I know my mommy feels like it has already been an eternity and yet I am still so new and getting used to life in the real world.
Let me tell you, the real world is a tough place. Some times it's too quiet and some times it's too loud and some times it's too dark and other times it's too light. I preferred my controlled environment a lot better.
It's also rough because you actually have to wake up to eat and use all these muscles to get the food out and then to take care of it on the inside and then get rid of it again... it's really exhausting work... and don't even get me started on the burning in my throat or those gas bubbles in my tummy!
The journey begins!

At three weeks I am a pretty amazing baby... my mom is just a little bit high strung and tense... but she'll work it out... I hear moms are much better by six weeks, so I am giving her some time. I like to sleep pretty well at night for any where from three to six hours at a time between feedings. I like to eat a lot but not too often.
And then...
sometimes....
I just like to practice stretching out my vocal chords for long periods of time...
I'm just gearing up for all that talking I'll be doing in just a little while!

I weigh some where around nine and a half pounds and most of those pounds are in my cheeks because the rest of me is pretty skinny!
I love my daddy, Sojourn music, Bible stories and my bouncy seat with the vibration... but only for a short amount of time, gotta keep it real! I also love to poop on people... extra points if you get their clothes, your clothes and the nursing pillow or towel!
I don't like being stuck in the car seat (unless you want to drive all day) and I don't like switching sleep locations... tradition works for me! My paci is a hit or miss sort of thing... I'll let you know when I want it and especially when I don't!
I can follow things with my eyes now and focus a little on people and interesting objects (like ceiling fans) and I give some great smiles but I prefer to frown (like I said... those dang gas bubbles!).
Lots of people love me and I can't wait to see them all again in just a few weeks...

Keep praying for my mommy... she needs sleep and even when I try to give it to her she doesn't seem to be able to get settled down. She needs a lot of strength and peace (and feel free to tell her she's not crazy).

You Know You're a Parent.....

2009-11-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

When your daughter completely blows out her diaper and leaves your shirt, undershirt, pants and belt all covered with a soupy mess.
That's right... Drew and I were both initiated by our very own Stella Jane this weekend.
At least she's well fed!

Who me?

In other news... we think SJ has a pretty bad case of reflux.... or has just decided that sleeping from 4am-midnight is optional. So we could use your prayers about what to do and whether to start her on medication to see if that helps.
In good other news... when we got the meds that our doctor wants us to try I had her weighed and she is up to 9lbs 4oz! That's a pound heavier than a week and 3 days ago when we last had her weighed. She is also REALLY long and REALLY skinny (minus those cheeks!)... she is too long for newborn footed pjs but too small for anything 0-3month.
She is a rule breaker... unlike her mommy.

A Mother's View

2009-11-03T13:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been so long since I have posted an update, I am sure you are all dying for news and pictures. But let's be honest, nothing can prepare you for the leap into motherhood/parenthood. I read so many books, I prayed and met with wise wise women. We took the classes and thought we were as prepared as we could be... and I think we were. The problem is, nothing can prepare you for the change.
The thing that every book seems to leave out is the fact that your child will be different... in some way they will break the rules and defy the limits set on them by doctors and authors alike. I am a rule follower and so I expected my baby to come out of the womb eating 8-12 feedings every 21/2-3 hours etc etc... and even when my circumstances are better than average (like a baby who prefers 4 hours between feedings most of the time and still is gaining great weight)... it is still hard for me because I wonder if I am failing. I want her to be healthy and happy and a lot of the time I have no clue how to get her there except to feed her and change her when needed and try to get some sleep so I'm not crazy. But then you throw in pacis and bottles and sleep training and it's all upside down again.
Speaking of sleep... I have also come to learn that sleep deprivation and changing hormones are the deadliest combination known to mankind. It is amazing how sad and desperate I can feel when I have had little to no sleep. Add a crying or fussy baby to the combo and it is seriously more dangerous than nuclear warfare.
THANKFULLY, I have the best husband on the planet. Drew is the picture of confidence. No amount of crying (from me or the baby) can make him doubt himself (or me) or regret our decision to jump on the parenting bandwagon. No amount of pump-part washing or dirty-diaper-changing has tempted him to complain. He has been a picture of joy and peace and this has been my strength on days I feel like I am unraveling.
We have also been blessed with wonderful family on both sides, who have taken care of us a great deal. My parents came first and were the picture of helpful. They made countless trips to the grocery stores and Target to fill up our cabinets and buy all those things we forgot that we needed until we had a newborn. They were so gracious when I melted into tears over dinner (a few times) and even treated us with a date night to celebrate a belated anniversary and took care of Stella so we could get some alone time. It was wonderful to have them.
Then Drew's parents came and his mom is actually still here and they have been so helpful also and have really helped Drew get a lot of the details on the house finished up. You would be amazed at what a blessing a hot dinner is during this season of life!
We are also so thankful for our church community, who have texted, emailed and called us time and again when they have been out to eat or at the store and offered to pick us up something or drop something by etc etc... we are truly blessed.
We are also blessed because Stella is a wonderful baby and really healthy (minus some reflux issues we think we are seeing crop up- please pray). She gained her birth weight plus 6oz by her one week check up and only wakes up 2-3 times in the night. She is BEAUTIFUL and already so different than she was just a week and a half ago... it is wonderful because it means I am providing for her needs as much as I can... but it is also sad because it is already a sign of how fast she will grow up and I love her little.
Here are some pictures from the mommy seat... they aren't great b/c they are with our little camera but that is easier for me to get out and use with a baby on board. You can see how much she's changed in a few of them... if you want more, my parents have posted a TON on facebook... so you should friend them and check those out.

Stella Jane Lewis

2009-10-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

Stella Jane has finally entered the world!
We were induced Wednesday night after an ultrasound that thought she was close to 9.5lbs with a 10cm head!
We checked in and found out I was already having contractions.... we were still medically induced and had a long hard time of it... after a few distress signals by both mom and baby we received an epidural after 13 hours and had our baby within the next 10! Everybody is happy and healthy and adjusting to their new life.
Stella is 7lbs15oz and 20inches long with a full head of long dark hair! (thank goodness the ultrasound was wrong!)
I haven't slept in almost 3 days and so that is a high priority today.
We are at Floyd Memorial and would love to have visitors, just call ahead!
Thanks for all the prayers... Drew uploaded a few iphone pictures on his facebook if you are dying to see her.

Still No Sign....

2009-10-20T05:24:00.001-07:00

Ummm.... excuse me cute pregnant girl in the ticker to the right... my baby is not four days old. I think you might have missed the memo, but she isn't even here yet. In fact, she isn't even acting like she wants to be here yet. So, if you could adjust accordingly, that would be great! Sincerely- LL
That's right folks, still not sign of our beloved SJ. I have been monitoring every little kick and cramp and was just sure she was starting to make a move over the weekend, but alas, it is Tuesday and I have had a total of one contraction in the last four days. Stella is nice and warm in her current location and isn't tempted by the sunny skies and changing leaves of Lville.
However, I feel so blessed to have had another weekend with Drew all to myself! We had a blast with friends on Friday and then more friends Saturday at the Fall Festival. After a week of clouds and drizzle is was a beautiful sunshiny day... though still a little cold. We ate and walked and I even got a really cute sling from a lady at our church. They had all these booths set up with people's homemade crafts... wow, so much talent! The only trouble was, most of it was baby stuff and of course I wanted to buy a little of it all! But I stuck with the sling and it was such a bargain! Hopefully we'll get to show you a picture of our little one in said sling soon.
We then rented a movie and went for a drive to see all the pretty colors of fall emerging. We stayed in together the rest of the night and had potato soup and garlic bread for dinner. It was a great fall day!
Saturday, after another day for D to sleep in (yay!) we had waffles and decided we should take advantage of our last day of our possibly last weekend together and so we got all ready and went to Hubers Family Farm in southern Indiana. This has been a tradition for us every year we've been here... we go and pick apples (they have pumpkins and other fruits/veggies too) and then get apple cider and other great farmers market stuff. So we went and rode on the bumpy trailer and picked a ton of apples! We also got fresh apple cider, apple and pumpkin donuts and kettle corn! woo hoo! It was a little warmer and sunny, so it was a perfect fall day for apple picking. Then we went to church and had dinner with friends. What a wonderful weekend!
Now we are back to the week days and every morning I wake up and realize that we made it through another uneventful night... it's a little discouraging but I've been trying to stay busy and distracted as much as possible. She really isn't giving any indication that she is making a move any time soon. She's about to have a rude awakening though if she doesn't....
Thank you for all your prayers and support... I have been super encouraged by everyone's sweet words and excitement for us here and on facebook and in emails... we really feel so well loved and supported.
And just to clarify... in my last post I talked about feeling a lot of pressure... that was never intended to be aimed at any one person.. I was just venting how the circumstances combined were making me feel and was trying to convey that it was my fault for wallowing and sitting around mopey... not any one else's fault for how I was feeling... it was just a precursor to explain why it was important that I was choosing to celebrate Friday... I hope that any one who reads this blog will know that we really appreciate your prayers and encouragement and love and we can't wait for all of you to meet SJ soon!!

Happy "Guess" Date Day!

2009-10-16T15:33:00.001-07:00

I have been saying "Happy Due Date Day" and then some one said "Happy Guess Day" and that made a lot more sense to me, so I am changing my ways! haha.
It's true, today is the day that the doctor's, nurses and websites all thought Stella might be born. There is no exact science to find out exactly what day or time a baby will be born... some babies need less time to cook and others need more and there is a lot of wiggle room when it comes to figuring out the exact day a person conceived... unless you are using some sort of method, which we weren't.
This week has been a week of ups and downs. I started the week a little low, feeling like my body wasn't achieving and that I was failing every one who thought I would deliver early. It was as if delivering early was some sort of accomplishment or noble feat... though no one has any say over when they deliver. So many people seemed disappointed that it got me disappointed in myself, which is crazy since, like I said, there is nothing I can do to make this girl appear (unless you count medical interventions, which are not only hazardous to my health but SJs also and come with many risks). It didn't help that it was cold and cloudy also, which means I wasn't doing much walking or much of anything outside the house (lack of warm maternity clothes being partly to blame). Then I decided to snap out of it. I am reading through Isaiah with our church and it is impossible to read that book and not realize that God is in complete control. He foretold everything that happened to Israel, including the coming of the Messiah and how people like you and me would one day be able to come to him with clean hearts... God knows what he is doing! He knew the day Stella would be born before I was born... how amazing is that?! I started to realize that there was no need to achieve or please any one because my life and the life of SJ is in our good God's hands and that she will come exactly how and when he has ordained. Whew... what a relief. So then, I got my hiney in gear and got a lot accomplished the next few days. Since then, I haven't always kept this great perspective and have often headed down the path of discontentment and anxiety... but thankfully I have been reminded by so many great friends and a wonderful husband about the truths that I know are true but often forget to act on.
So, because I trust the Lord's plan and rely on him to bring Stella into this world, I can celebrate this guess day with joy instead of grumbling or anticipation. There is so much to rejoice about. So many women have miserable pregnancies full of illness and pain. Many women get put on bed rest or have scary complications that bring their babies into the world earlier than would be ideal for their little bodies. Women lose their babies or have to watch them hooked up to tubes and probed and prodded until they can live on their own. I, however, have been blessed with a healthy pregnancy. I have actually been healthier these last nine months than the previous five put together! We haven't really had a single complication and I have been relatively comfortable for the majority of this adventure. I have a wonderful husband who treats me with so much compassion and care and fabulous friends and mentors who have supported and taught me along the way. It is a blessing that Stella has stayed in the womb full term, that she is healthy and thriving in there and in no hurry to rush out. I have a wonderful doctor who cares about my physical health but also about my spiritual and emotional well being. She is a wonderful, godly woman who listens to my preferences and is quick to give a kind and reassuring word. (which by the way she isn't worried about SJ at all and said she wouldn't be surprised if she came this weekend!) My husband has been given a stable job and thus enabled me to stay at home and raise our little girl and also has provided us with all the essentials we need for her comfortable arrival into our home. See, so many blessings!!
So today is a day of celebration! I had a hot breakfast (toast w/ PB and honey instead of cereal), spent the morning reading and praying, completed my work out video (which gives me pleasure that I still can at 40 weeks!), took a hot hot shower and went to the doctor. I gave my nurse (physician's assistant or whatever) and my doctor cupcakes to celebrate and then heard SJ's heartbeat. She is healthy and happy in there it seems. I didn't get checked and my doctor isn't worried she is too big and also said that she has moved noticeably further down in the pelvis.. which is a good sign! We talked about "what's next" and she is in no rush to intervene on Stella's schedule as long as things stay looking good. We'll go in Wednesday (if not before=) ) for an ultrasound just to make sure every thing is okay in there for sure. After that, it will be up to us as to when we induce with in the following week. However, we both agreed that it would be best if she just came on her own before that... and the doctor thought there was a good chance for that! Then I left and got myself a large Cherry Coke from Sonic (which did happen to put a good friend of mine into labor a few weeks ago), took some more cupcakes up to the church for the cake walk at tomorrow's fall festival, came home to some queso and apples and watched the latest episode of Glee. Now I'm doing laundry and waiting for the hubs to take me to dinner... then on to a pumpkin/fall party some great friends are throwing tonight! Tomorrow is the annual fall festival at our church and Drew's day off... woo hoo!! Lots and lots to celebrate!
So... if you need an excuse to celebrate today... feel free to celebrate a Happy Guess Date Day on our behalf!
We'll keep you posted if anything new happens with SJ.... like she decides to come out or something.
blessings!

That's Better....

2009-10-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Now that's more like it!
I can't reach my toes. I can barely get out of bed on my own. I can't see anything but belly when I look down.
So, due to my obvious handicap, I felt it was necessary to get a pedicure. I meant to go this weekend but I got caught up doing other things, like taking a really long nap.
Yesterday it really hit me that if I didn't get a pedicure soon, I might not get one at all! This was an unacceptable thought and so I got my little hiney (well, it is little compared to my belly) over to the nail place. I really feel like it is important to have pretty toes to be able to look at when I'm laboring... a good relaxing focal point. I usually get a lighter pink but was convinced a darker shade was appropriate for fall. haha
I remembered another random thought... actually, more of a funny story.
The other morning I was sitting on the couch reading my Bible, eating breakfast and checking the internet. I had been having more pelvic pain than usually and getting a lot less sleep than I prefer. In the middle of all of this my phone rang. I keep my phone by the bed and so it isn't uncommon for it to stay there through out the day until I remember it. On this specific instance I didn't feel like giving any pregnancy updates (of which there are none) or getting up off the couch... I knew I couldn't get there in time to answer it any way. Sadly, it was a local, unidentified number and they didn't leave a message... so I'll never know what I missed out on... However.... the funny part of the story is way back at the beginning. I was sitting on the couch and when I heard the first ring my first unhindered thought was, "I wonder if that is some one calling me to tell me I'm in labor". WHAT? Does that make any sense to any one? I guess that just shows how much labor is on my brain these days that I would hope for a phone call to let me know... it also shows my deep hopes that maybe I am in early labor and just don't know it yet... I mean I could be completely effaced and dilating as we speak and not know it since we haven't gotten checked. That is my hope. And yet, there is another totally real possibility that I am nothing... thankfully first time mothers are actually more likely to have their baby 8 days later than their due date... they are saying that is the actual due date for more than half and so really I am still over a week and a half away from my due date... (let's all nod and pretend that is comforting).
It could be today and at least I have pretty toes! And, we didn't want her to come before our free ERAC dinner w/ Drew's work. They took us to the Cheesecake Factory (my personal craving) and it was DELICIOUS! I was hoping it would be my last meal but I already had cinnamon toast for breakfast.. oh well. We had guac and nachos for an appetizer plus their tasty wheat bread. I got the chopped salad I raved about last time and then tuxedo cheesecake. YUM! I also had a coca cola b/c ppl keep telling me caffeine can encourage dilation or something weird like that. okay!
For now I'm going to try and walk this baby out... we have a new Target in town and I just got two gift cards! Then I'm cleaning the bathroom and kitchen to get ready for our community group. I hope it's the last time I'll deep clean it before SJ arrives!!

Random Thoughts

2009-10-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

1. What do you call the shoes you wear when you are doing something athletic? Growing up I have always called these shoes... tennis shoes. I had no idea until middle school or so that the first word, before shoe, was tennis... as in the sport... as in these shoes were designed for people who play tennis. I never played tennis, minus hitting a few balls on the garage door, and really there are a lot of people in the world who will never play tennis... so why do so many people call them tennis shoes? Why did tennis shoes in particular get to become the genre instead or walking or running, which are way more common. I usually call my athletic shoes running shoes now, because that's what they are... and yet since I've gotten them I've walked in them 99% more than I've run in them (excuse being pregnancy). So should I call them walking shoes? All in all, I've decided to make up a new word that solves my problem... "tenishoe"... that is what I thought I was saying all these years anyway and it will refer to all athletic shoes, regardless of actual sport intended.

2. I didn't think I was ready to have Stella yet... I know that I'm not, actually. But today Drew's best friend and our first real married friends (as in they and we were married and hung out), the cool kids who lived in New Zealand, announced that they were in labor. Instantly I was stunned and thrilled. She isn't due until late October and has already been in labor for over 24 hours! So, I was excited, wanted the details, and thrilled for them and then in an instant something flooded over me and I just started crying. I was so sad all the sudden that Stella hadn't come yet and that I am last of every one I know to have their baby. It was so weird. As quickly as the tears started, they vanished and I was fine and we had breakfast. weird. All in all, despite the fact that I'll never be fully prepared, we are chanting for Stella to at least get moving... who knows, maybe she is already! But since she's waited this long she might as well wait until after Drew's work dinner party on Monday.. the boss is treating us all to dinner in honor of Stella (and closing an hour early!)... yay for free dinner!
(we did set up the pack n play and pack a little more just in case she wants to follow Baby D's lead!)

3. We need hand-me-downs. If you know of any one who has 0-3 or 6-9 month WARM girl clothes, please tell them we would love to have, borrow or purchase them! As we packed some things for SJ today we realized, this girl has mostly short sleeved onesies and dresses in the 0-3 month range b/c no one knew it would be this cold in October! We don't have a single pair of pants for our newborn! So, Monday I am hitting up the Columbus Day sales in the baby departments for some fleece items and more long sleeves and pants. But if you know of any one who has these items or especially a baby coat/ snow suit... we would LOVE to get some hand-me-downs.

4. Most nights I wake up several times and I lay in bed, trying to go back to sleep, and often I blog in my head. Then, when Drew has days off, I am usually awake an hour or two before he is ready to stir... I hate to wake him b/c he never gets enough sleep during the week... so I lay there, waiting to cuddle and blog in my head. Most of these are random, like #1 above, and then I decide they aren't worth posting and move on... today I finally decided to let the randomness go unhindered and now I can't even remember all the ones I thought of this morning! ugh!

If I think of any more tonight, I'll let you know! =)

One Week

2009-10-09T15:39:00.001-07:00

Today I am 39 weeks!
I keep saying, "I can't believe it!" and I CAN'T!
First of all, i never thought that I would make it this far in pregnancy with out any complications. I was born after a long time on bed rest for my mom and then popped out early and fast. Though there are benefits to early... and especially to fast... I am happy that I have had such a healthy pregnancy. Second, I can't believe that she could come any day and will definitely be here in the next two weeks, max!
One week from today is my due date. One week from today I will see my doctor and hear the heart beat and not get checked... again (yes, the suspense is killing me but is better than a let down). One week from today I will start going to said doctor every two or three days instead of every week. One week from today none of the above could happen because we might be sitting in the hospital with our little girl. CRAZY!
I am SO happy that the trees have started to change colors and I am itching for my family to get here and celebrate with us. The last time either side of our family was here, we had a MAJOR house project going on and though we did enjoy them and hopefully they enjoyed Louisville... this time around will be much sweeter. I am really looking forward to them enjoying a Kentucky fall and have hopes for all of us sitting around smiling at Stella and each other, maybe drinking hot beverages with candles and the windows open. (Yes, I know there will also be the exhaustion, endless nursings and other post-birth wonders... but I am thinking positive right now.) I can't wait to see my parents and Drew's parents hold their granddaughter for the first time... I am sure there will be many iphone pictures, knowing my parents. It's going to be like a family reunion... did I ever mention I always LOVED family reunions? I am so happy we all have another excuse to see each other before Christmas and Claire's (beautiful) wedding. This year has been so wonderful because we have seen our families more than all the other years of our marriage combined! Hopefully when we have a grandbaby in our house it will be easier to convince said families to come and visit more often!
I also can't wait to introduce Stella to our community group and to the Bells (all her best friends and possible future mate in one family!) and all the people who have supported and prayed for us during this time at our church.
I have been slowly ticking off the last few details on my pre-baby to-do list. We met and signed up with our pediatrician officially. We replaced the rotten cabinet under the sink and got a new sink and faucet. I made up a new white chicken chili recipe that succeeded with flying colors. I also adapted a new gingerbread/pumpkin muffin that is actually healthy (Susan, you will appreciate that I snuck in a lot of wheat germ and flax seed in these) and made it with my own homemade pumpkin puree. I mopped up the mess that said kitchen projects produced. I got our travel/diaper bag at a clearance sale today for 50% off (yes I did stand in line for 1 whole hour to purchase said bag) and have caught up on all the laundry. I still need to pack and the house could always be a little cleaner and a lot more organized than it is right now. But my most pressing need is to figure out what I'm going to make my wonderful husband for dinner tonight... so I'm off!
Here's me at 39 weeks... I took a traditional and then a few more pics from my perspective... hopefully there won't be a need for any more pictures of my belly because there will be a little girl on the outside to focus on!
And yes, this is the only shirt that fits me right now... seriously.

Exciting Times

2009-10-05T12:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow begins the 10 day countdown. I really can't believe it. I can't believe that we are going to have a little baby girl for the rest of our lives... starting in just a matter of days!
Thankfully, we are prepared... well, as much as we plan on being. We finally got SJ a place to sleep and the car seat came in the mail. We also got her a cute bouncy seat and I ordered my first trial package of cloth diapers... but she won't be able to fit them until after about 6 weeks or so, depending on how big she is when she is born. We also bought a few warmer things for her to wear b/c she mostly received short sleeved clothes for 0-3 months because usually October is still warm... but it hasn't been getting above 70 here and it's been getting below 50 at night. So this girl is going to need some warmer clothes.
It is nice to know that if Stella came right now, we would have enough with out having to make any emergency trips to Target.
Drew and I also celebrated our three year anniversary on Saturday! Our actual anniversary was on Wednesday but Drew was sick and I was babysitting and so we decided to wait until Saturday. Thankfully, his fever disappeared on Friday, so Saturday he had been fever free for 24 hours and thus we could be together again. I am so thankful that I didn't catch what he had and so thankful that now we can resume hugging, kissing and cuddling... and sleeping in the same bed. Except, we both got used to having our own space and so I tend to keep him up with my adjusting and re-adjusting... but that just comes with the territory in week 39!!! AHH. I can't believe it, did I mention that?
So, we went to get baby stuff and then ate at the Cheesecake Factory... YUM! It was worth the wait. I also had braxton hicks contractions the whole time we were there and we started to wonder if SJ was going to make an appearance early.. but then they went away.
We are staying very busy with last minute details before SJ arrives. We got my plates changed on my car (finally) and I've been cleaning and doing laundry like a crazy person. Drew ripped out the sink (there goes my cleaning) and is installing new cabinets under the sink this week (they were rotted and stinky!), along with getting new pipes. Hopefully we will also get all the cabinets painted before our new arrival. I am still cooking up a storm... even sans-sink... and trying to get time in with friends before SJ comes, because we have no idea what life will be like after that. We have also been finishing up some last minute baby-related reading and trying to get enough sleep.
Tonight we are touring our hospital and making the final touches to our birth plan. Wednesday we have a meeting with our potential pediatrician.
It's all coming together!
I think tonight is a full moon and my mom always says babies are born like crazy during a full moon... no she is not superstitious...at all... she is a high risk pregnancy nurse/supervisor... so she knows! So, maybe SJ will start coming today... but I doubt it. She seems pretty happy where she is at.
Finally, pictures... the bouncy seat I assembled, the diapers and car seat and a picture of us at three years... I feel SO round in every way but have been encouraged by all the compliments I have been receiving from a lot of friends... so I am posting it any way. You are supposed to be big when you are 39 weeks pregnant! (though the little girl I babysat did ask me, "why do you have to get fat when you have a baby"... hahaha)

37 Weeks!

2009-09-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

We officially have only 3 weeks until our due date estimate!
As you can see from the picture... I have grown quite a bit. This week I have been mostly down on the couch trying to avoid the flu and trying to get a handle on my allergies. We've had crazy pressure and humidity and it has been playing games with my head! I really go back and forth about how I feel about my body these days. At first I was happy that my baby belly was looking rounder instead of bigger and flatter. I am still happy that our baby is obviously growing like a weed in there, you can pretty much feel her at any point, not just when she is kicking. There is always a knee, elbow or butt that is obvious. It's also been great to be out and about and have people tell me how small I am or how cute I look. One brave Dillards employee even went so far as to guarantee me that I was so small that there was no way my baby would be over 5lbs 9oz. Hmmm... we'll see. Supposedly at this stage in labor most babies are already 6lbs and I am really right on track... not at all under weight or under sized.
On the flip side, there is a part of me that can't help (though I should) compare myself to cuter pregnant women or really stylish non-pregnant women (or all the beautiful and skinny women in my family). Many of maternity clothes are even getting small for this baby belly and it's not really my ideal to wear the same thing 3-4 times a week. It's also hard when I spend most of the day reading or doing things around the house... because I feel useless and large. I really think this is a partly spiritual battle for me because I've been really thinking about how much we women obsess about our bodies. I would like nothing more (ok that's a lie) than to have the tightest legs, butt and abs around and to be able to fit into tiny jeans... but when does that priority become a sin? Why do we want these amazing bodies? Does the Bible outline exactly what size is a healthy size for a woman to be... or are there mandates some where in there about working out? I do think we are to be responsible with our bodies, which includes eating right and exercise and I think the opposite extreme could be a sin too... but I am just wondering if our ideal is a little off... a little "of this world". It seems like we usually want amazing bodies to impress others, to make others like us or envy us or be attracted to us. I know personally, my husband is always telling me how much he likes me and is attracted to me just like I am... so if I am obsessed with changing, it's obviously not for his eyes only.
On the other, other hand... I do really enjoy working out and I think if that is you too, it's not a sin to enjoy running or what ever.. it's when we work out to the glory of ourselves and to the neglect of our husbands and families... which God HAS given us clear commands about.
So...all that to say, I am obviously bigger and that is wonderful and terrifying thing all at once!
In other news, Stella is right on track and things are going great in the pregnancy. I have a few more aches and pains but I am encouraged because most of these pains are pointing out that labor is on its way. She is WAY down and likes to head butt my pelvic bones whenever I am walking/waddling, which is actually GREAT because that means she is getting in the ready position. She has also decided that I do not need the use of my lungs or bladder and is thinking about taking over my stomach space as well! We'll have to work on the whole sharing thing when she gets here.
We also met with our doula and she is pretty much on call for us until the birth!
I haven't been nesting like most people think... and that's because we are still waiting to purchase the major items on our list (waiting on a coupon).. but last week alone I made hummus, pita bread, chocolate pie and granola bars! They all turned out great too!
Please pray with us as we approach Stella's birth... natural child birth is much easier said than done and though I don't feel afraid, I do feel very intimidated and unsure of myself. I am reading up and watching videos to really get realistic expectations and it is all very intense! So please pray for a safe and natural birth for Stella and me and that Drew would feel included and empowered through out the whole process and as we transition into parenthood.

Lville

2009-09-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

It finally happened... I got the Linville to come to the Louisville.
My best friend from high school is in the traveling tour of Wicked and she has been dancing (literally and figuratively) all around the surrounding area but never in Louisville! We finally got our acts together and realized that when she was in Nashville she would be too close for us not to get together. I think I have only seen her two or three times, in person, since High School, which is crazy because we basically lived at each other's houses in HS.
She was supposed to come and visit two Mondays ago but car rentals were closed for Labor Day. Then this past Monday as she was carrying a suit case to the car to drive here she fell and sprained her ankle! NO WAY! So the trip was cancelled and she had to go to the emergency room. Well, since she is a dancer, this also meant no work for a while so she can heal. So... Saturday she was able to come to town!
It actually worked out perfect because I sent Drew on a weekend camping trip (more on that later) and was going to be home alone all day Saturday and Sunday and I HATE staying over night by myself. So Lauren came and we had a girls night!
Right before she got here I realized (at the hair salon) that my wallet was/is missing from my purse, but thankfully I had enough cash to pay for my hair cut and for fun stuff during the weekend (yes, this was money from my birthday in January). So things got off to a crazy start... But I don't think we stopped talking from the minute she walked in until she left today at lunch. We sat on the couch and talked until dinner last night and then hung out with some friends from our Community Group. Then we talked until midnight, got up and went to the early service at church, had brunch and talked until lunch... then she had to head back to Nashville. It was such a refreshing time and such a blessing to be able to reconnect with some one who I have so many memories with from back in the day! I can truly see how the Lord is using her in AMAZING and challenging ways to bring his kingdom into some very unreached places.
Since we did so much gabbing, I forgot to take any pictures... plus we really didn't DO anything but sit on the couch and talk... a lot. I didn't even show her the seminary or anything... though she did get to go to our church, which is probably the most important thing to us here in Lville.
So, in leu of a current pic... here is us... looking basically the same... back in the day.

ok ok, so maybe she looks the same and I look slightly different... slightly...larger... *insert moment of silence for pre- pregnancy bodies everywhere* =)

!!

2009-09-16T19:36:00.000-07:00

Do you know what today is?
Today is September 16, 2009.

Do you know why this day is important?
Today marks the ONE MONTH count down!

That's right, we are due exactly one month from today.

Okay, okay, we all know that those baby calculators are usually a little off and that really little SJ will probably NOT make her appearance on this very day.
I am actually fairly certain she will be a little later considering that I was in surgery the week that they started counting from... hmmm.
As of tomorrow, SJ is free to come into this world with out any intervention or worry necessary! CRAZY
I can't believe we are at this place. I can't believe three of our friends have delivered in the past week and a half and another one is in progress as I type!
For a few days I started to wish that SJ would make her appearance early. I mean, I am an american so I want instant gratification right? Usually I keep these feelings at bay by reminding myself that we have no place for her to sleep or sit and little for her to wear etc etc... however, lately that has been less effective in curbing my desire.
Then this weekend it hit me, Drew and I will never have this time together again. We will never be two people with out children ever again in our lives. We will never be able to erase the weight, joy, pain, etc... that comes with being a parent. And while I know this is a blessing and a sweet change... I also know that this time we have with just us is also very precious (I don't like that word but it is the only one that really fits my meaning). One of my biggest fears (and was for both of us before we even started this journey) was that I really enjoy my husband and our marriage and I am not in a big hurry for it to change. I don't want to add any factors in that may cause tension or discord between us. So more than I worry about our little one sleeping through the night I worry about the changes that will occur in me and in him and in us that will effect the way we live life together from now on.
Thankfully, the Lord has put a myriad of families in our lives who have excellent marriages and many children (at the same time!) and thus we know that He will be faithful to grow us and prune us and refine us for his glory and our good... and thus the good of our marriage.
whew.
So to end this little rant I'll end with a lighter note. People are always asking me my highs and lows and cravings and since we don't know when little Stella will arrive I'll take time now to reflect on the past 8 months.

Cravings:
I haven't really had any weird cravings but I have definitely had favorites among the foods I already liked..
#1. Serving me faithfully through all three trimesters and any time of day... CHEESE! I have always liked cheese and have it most days with crackers and an apple for lunch but through out pregnancy I can't get enough colby/jack in my life. Some days I make queso just because.

#2. Especially prominent in the first trimester and dwindling slowly as the third approaches... Sour Patch Kids... or really any sour candy at all. I have always liked, but never loved sour candy until pregnancy. I used to go to those candy stores in the mall and fill a whole bag with sour straws and sour belts and sour patch kids.

#3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cinnamon Bagels, Cinnamon Rolls... you get the gist.

#4. Sodas. I know, I know. I'm not supposed to be drinking sodas but more than any other time in my life... sometimes I just CRAVE a soda. Since I usually only take in water or lemonade (also a huge favorite) I usually indulge myself when I get the urge... and though Dr. Pepper was always my top fave... Coke Classic has been giving it a run for its money.

#5. Mexican food, brownies, lemonade, bakes lays, cookies etc etc etc etc...

Highs:
- feeling the first flutter, kick and leg extension
-seeing the baby's movements from outside the womb
-seeing Drew talk to his baby girl
-clear complexion and healthy hair (vain I know, but true!)
-lots of sleep

Lows:
-stretch marks (just being honest)
-back aches
-lack of sleep (seemingly contradictory... but it's not)
-emotions always changing

I could go on and on and maybe I'll add and revise this later... but for now that is what's on the top of my head. TIME FOR BED!

Conquering Hero

2009-09-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been hearing a lot about coupons. People back home are saving hundreds of dollars a month at their local grocery store buying things they actually use for their families! I have usually found that coupons are only helpful for yogurt, which we buy at Whole Foods or junk food, which we don't buy any where. However, I have been keeping tabs on a few online coupon sites and storing up my kroger coupons and keeping watch on the kroger weekly ad... and I am proud to announce that today I saved $50!! That is 1/3 of my total purchase! I even stockpiled a few items and bought a few extra items (without a sale or coupon) that I needed for a few special treats I am making this week (like my nana's chocolate pie! mmmm). I am so pumped! I also appreciate that Kroger ALWAYS takes my expired coupons. This is a life saver for a non-coupon guru like myself because I usually don't want to buy something until I need it and will forget it several times before actually remembering to use it.
All in all, today has been a wonderful day to be domestic. Cleaned house (including the tub/shower eek), took Drew lunch at work, saved at the store (and got at least 2 weeks worth of lunch and dinners) and got another book I had on reserve at the Library! woo hoo. Now I am going to put my feet up for a bit and learn how to birth a baby before getting dinner ready (pesto pasta with my new fresh basil from my organic basil plant!). =)

Nothin' Much

2009-09-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

This week has been sort of a blur, but I can't really think what we have been up to in order to thrill you with a new tale. We are just trying to get back in the swing of things with work and church... establishing a routine and all that. Drew was off on Wednesday and so we slept in and then did a bunch of productive things together. It was a great day! It's amazing how much more fun it is to do the mundane errands when the person you love the most is with you! He even bought me a beautiful purple hanging plant when we were at home depot for some more supplies. We also ate bacon cheese burgers, which didn't hurt anything!
I also had my doctor's appointment that day, so Drew tagged along for the exciting trip (sarcasm here). He did get to hear the heart and it was racing! Last visit she was in the 120s and this visit she was getting up to 150! She must get excited to have her dad around just like me! My Dr. said I still look good and right on track... After my next visit, in two weeks, we will start having visits every week! Only 5 weeks to go!
Speaking of babies... our really wonderful friends had their sweet little girl on Tuesday (9.9.09)! She was just a few days over due and so they induced her and everything seems to have gone really well and now they have a beautiful 8 (almost 9)lb baby that seems to favor her mommy's good looks. But then again, it's hard to tell when they are still red and squishy and new. We went to visit them last night and I thought I might have to be admitted into the hospital myself because I was SO excited. I could barely eat dinner I was so jittery and anxious to meet their little one. I spent the whole day with the mom before she checked in to the hospital and I had been on pins and needles ever since. They are a really special family.
We have just a handful more friends and acquaintances that are due before us, so it's going to be a busy 5 weeks for our church family as we welcome all these baby girls into the world!
It's really hard for me to believe that we will get to meet Stella in just about a month. I have tried all along not to think about it because I have never been good at dealing with prolonged anticipation. So, I just forget about it and treat it as if it will never happen and then when it gets close... I can get VERY excited! We still have a lot to do in preparation for SJ but I know that eventually, it will all get taken care of. It's so weird to be so out of control of something so personal. I am carrying this baby around and feeding her and protecting her and yet I have pretty much NO say about when or how she will come into the world. Of course, with all our friends delivering 8, 9 and 10lb babies lately... we would be okay with an early arrival but there is nothing indicating that I will go early or even on time... most first time moms seem to go late, so I am trying to prepare myself for that. Some mornings I wake up and have actually forgotten I was pregnant until I try to get out of bed... this has become very amusing! I am like a beached whale! It take a lot of momentum and sometimes a shove for me to get out of our bed.. .especially if Drew is in it creating a crater! (same for the couch too!) This has brought on many many bouts of laughter.
Well.... without further ado... I will show you the pictures of us with the baby... I love how Drew is pretending to be unsure about the baby in one of the pictures and then looks like such a natural in the next. I can't wait to see him holding his own little girl... he is already pretty smitten with her and he just sees her kicks...

UP, Up and Away!

2009-09-05T11:10:00.000-07:00

*** caution *** this blog is probably going to be a HUGE spoiler for the movie UP... so if you haven't seen it (AND YOU SHOULD) you might want to scroll down to the end and just enjoy the new belly shots and then go on about your day!

So, my wonderful husband has reinitiated "date night" in our house. We found that we were becoming so busy between friends, house and church that we weren't getting any quality time together. And for any one that knows me... that is a BIG deal.
SIDE NOTE: I'm not all about the love languages and I have found that a lot of people use this as a way to promote their own selfishness and another way of saying, "you have to do things my way". I've also found that at different times in my life I have wanted different types of love from different people. For instance, we took the love languages test in a girls group I was in during college. I scored a big fat ZERO for physical touch. I have never been a huge hugger (don't ask me how that happened in my family) and in high school I remember being forced into group hugs to build up my immunity to them. My girl friends in college, though huggers themselves, some how got the vibe from me that I wasn't a hugger and we didn't realize it until senior year but we had pretty much never hugged each other. I've grown a lot in this department over the years. However, now that I am married... I am a HUGE physical touch person. No no no... not that kind of physical touch... but sometimes I think I drive Drew crazy because I always want to lean into him, or put my legs across his lap or touch him with my feet. I melt away (aka fall asleep) when he plays with my hair or rubs my back etc etc. I love to hold hands and cuddle etc etc etc... you get the idea. So all that to say, these things change and are different depending on what relationship you are referring to. But across the board I think every one would agree that this little (or big) lady has always needed her quality time to feel connected. So.. that's a long way of saying, we are having Friday Night Date Nights! woooo hooooo
We decided it was important to start these now, before Stella is born because 1. there is a lot to talk about leading up to this huge change and I often need to just air out all my thoughts and doubts and joys etc. and 2. because we want to have it firmly established when our little bundle of joys pops in and turns our world upside down.
ANYWAY... wow, this is going to be long! Last night Drew took me to McAlisters (pregnancy all time favorite place to go it seems) so I could get mac n cheese and tea (yes I had a sandwich too but that was just a side note to the real deal). After that we went to the dollar theater and saw UP. I have been having some pretty vivid and terrible nightmares again lately so we wanted to be a little more picky about what movie we chose. I am usually down for any action, shoot'em up type film that my husband prefers but not in the middle of trying to get rid of these dreams. So, we saw UP. I had heard that just about every one I know cried in this movie but I wasn't really sure why. All I knew was it was about some old man and a lot of balloons. I figured it would be a cute and touching story with a tear or two at the end.
Boy was I wrong. It was the best and worst movie for this emotional prego woman.
It starts with a little boy watching a movie about his hero adventurer and then he meets this little girl who is spunky and happens to adore the same adventurer. She lets him be in her (one person) club and next thing you know it's their wedding day and then they get a house (a fixer upper mind you) and they start to dream about life and then their dreams are shattered *insert tears streaming down my face* and then an old dream is remembered... the adventurer and that place they always wanted to go... and a new dream begins. I won't ruin it all but just from the preview you can see... the man is now all alone. GO SEE IT (I just majorly edited that recap so I wouldn't spoil it for you so now you MUST see it!)
I was sobbing... silently... trying to nonchalantly wipe niagra falls off my face. It was too much, too hard, too beautiful and way too fast... just like life really is I suppose.
Finally, I couldn't hold my breath any longer and my nose was way too full of liquid to help in the breathing process and so I had to take a giant gulp of air, which came out as half gasp, half shudder... you know, the way babies (and most women) are after they've had a good long cry and can't quite stop their shaky breathing for the next half hour. So, here I was ugly crying and making sobbing noises in the middle of a PG children's animated film. I could feel the guy next to me giving me compassionate glances but I dared not turn my streaky face to the right or the left... I just stared straight ahead.
Anyway, the man is lost and lonely without his spunky wife and he feels like he disappointed her, let her down and broke his word. The world around him is changing and he can't go and he can't stay. It is sad.
**spoiler below**
I won't continue to narrate the whole film but in the end there is something very important that he realizes. The pages she had saved to write about their dream trip in her journal (that he could never open because of the guilt he felt over the empty pages he knew would be in there) were already filled... filled with pictures of their "mundane" life. Pictures of a lifetime of love and happiness. Pictures that told him she was not disappointed with their life together and that he didn't let her down. And in the end, she wanted him to keep on living when she was gone. It was such a wonderful moment... for hollywood to show that there is something beautiful and valuable in the every day moments. There is worth in the lives of people who never accomplish great fame or fortune. You don't have to go on expensive trips or live in luxury houses or drive nice cars to live a wonderful and fulfilling life! Of course, for us... this has to do with why we are here. We believe we are here to glorify God on the earth for a short time through his son Jesus and then go on to glorify him for eternity after death. We are not living for the world and all it has to offer, but for God... and all the joys and love we receive here are grace upon grace... blessings. It's so easy to become discontent with life... with this crazy house or our boring jobs or our lack of accomplishments... but really there are so many wonderful things happening to us (universal us) every day. For me: Laughing with my husband over dinner. Spilling food down my clothes for fifth time in one day. A cool breeze on a sunny day. Kicks and pokes from a baby growing healthy inside. Friends delivering babies. Ice tea... ice in general! Lemonade and chocolate cake. Homemade banana bread with streusel topping. Cuddling til you fall asleep. Laughing so hard your sides hurt and you cry. Changing leaves. Naps in the afternoon. The color pink...LIFE!
I loved this movie because is also promoted marriage. This couple, though never achieving the perfect life, stayed together through it all. They were very different. There were lots of trials. There was disappointment after disappointment. And yet, in the end, their love was stronger and deeper than at the first. There is also a little boy that attaches himself to the old man and you come to discover that his parents are divorced. He paints a bleak picture of a distant dad whom he adores and yet has no time for him. He talks about his hopes of adventures with his dad but well, he is really busy and his new girlfriend/wife already told the boy he was a bother. His mom can't do everything and pay the rent too! Wow! I was shocked that Hollywood would be so very un-PC about divorce. I feel like the world constantly tells us that divorce is the new normal. Kids aren't affected by it. People get over it. No big deal. But this movie showed that it is a big deal... this kid's life was forever changed.. and not for the better... because of his parents' divorce and his dad's preoccupation with work and his new life. sad sad. Thankfully that part has a semi happy ending.
So, though it made me ugly cry, I really enjoyed this movie. It made me think. It made me look at the way I respond to trials and disappointments in my own life and re-evaluate. It made me thankful for the wonderful, loving, compassionate, hard working, and mighty handsome husband that God has blessed me with.
So, if you're still reading by this point you deserve a prize... and that prize will be new belly pics! yay! I am in my 35th week, which is hard to believe. Only a couple more weeks and Stella can make her debut with out a worry. Today is a good friend's due date and so we are all on pins and needles waiting for their little one to come... it will be such a special experience to meet their little girl when she arrives because we know that we will have one very soon just like theirs (okay a little different I'm sure). These are some friends that we talked with years ago about "when we have kids" and she and I joked about having our babies together and now.. here we are ... having baby girls a month apart. They are moving soon and I am so thankful that the Lord kept them here long enough for us to travel this part of the journey together.
With out further ado.... (I granted a few requests and included one with my face this time...)

Happy September!

2009-09-02T19:03:00.001-07:00

I was really hoping that I would get to wish you all a Happy September on the first day of the month, but I am proud to report that I have been too busy to post! This is great if you consider the dance with boredom I had been doing in weeks past.
September is the beginning of fall and fall is definitely one of my favorite seasons if not my top favorite all together (I struggle to commit because Spring is so wonderful and I do love the holidays!). I go for a daily walk at my favorite park and sometimes I have to restrain myself from frolicking and twirling around the track. There are not many things more wonderful to me than a nice walk on a cool day (its been in the 70s here!) with the last smells of summer and the first smells of fall mingling together in the tree sap, cut grass and drying leaves. I love the wind on my face making me cool and the warmth of the sun keeping me at the perfect temperature (which is saying a lot when you are 8 months pregnant!). I love all the bright greens and blues of nature and can't wait for those greens to turn into red, orange and yellows. Mix all of that with a great song on the ipod and it is really really hard to restrain myself! I am sure people wonder at the pregnant lady out walking every day with a huge smile on her face... it is the time of day I feel the most blessed (well that and cuddling with Drew).
With this first week of fall also came our first official community group meeting of the semester. This is just the motivation I needed to tackle the overwhelming mess that was our house. With the stairs 99% done and the upstairs cleaned and organized (for the most part), there was just not excuse for not tackling the downstairs other than the fact that it was a little overwhelming and there was a lot of heavy lifting involved. My allergies have been acting up like crazy with ragweed at its peek and all the dust and nastiness in our house wasn't helping one bit... so that's the straw that pushed me over the edge and turned me into a cleaning, organizing whiz! I started with the kitchen since I spend a lot of time there and it gets the worst the fastest. I came up with the great idea to use the top of our cabinet for some decorative storage. I have a ton of cake plates that I love but do not use regularly that take up a lot of space on countertops and bookshelves and some really beautiful vases that I also wanted to display but wanted out of the way. We have so many books (even after sorting and giving many away) that we really need all our book shelf space for actual books and not cake plates and vases. So, I did a little step stool climbing and hobby lobby browsing and came up with a great solution that really perks up the kitchen at the same time! I am really pleased (and Drew likes it too...SCORE!) and so glad to have a season theme going on. It really makes the kitchen feel warmer to me to have these personal touches around.

With this stuff out of the way I was able to clean off the book shelves and put them in their rightful rooms in their rightful place and get all the books dusted and organized on them as well. I really love organizing books... I'm weird, I know. I just love to read and love books!
After all that was situated I vacuumed the floors... twice. I then mopped all the floors...twice. And the end result is beautiful shiny wood floors that barely show the marking of massive construction! As you will see in the pictures, there are still reminder of work left to be done... sheet rock against the wall (for finishing out Stella's closet) and a ladder to touch up that painting around the stairs... but if you had been to our house at all this summer you wouldn't even notice them... I don't. I keep telling Drew that I can't believe how BIG our rooms seem now with out a million saws and drills on the floor and boxes of things and furniture piled on itself. It's been a crazy summer. But I am so thankful for my wonderful husband and his talented friends who poured so much hard work into getting this done. Our next projects will be getting stuff on the walls (like frames and such) and painting the kitchen cabinets white.
When our Community Group came over they were all amazed. Most of them hadn't been over since May when the stairs were taken out and some hadn't even been since the early Spring. Every single person wanted to take a turn walking up the stairs. They all "oohed" and "aaahhed" over how nice and sturdy they are. It was so funny because they all said first thing, "can I walk on them?". I felt so blessed to be able to have these wonderful people back in our home and have it be a welcoming place that is clean and smells nice and has a place for you to sit... instead of a construction zone where everything has a layer of dust and every surface is piled high with stuff.

In baby news (will be brief for now since this is already long)... we have several friends who are due THIS weekend! I can't believe it and I am soo excited to meet their babies. It's a great perk to have other people's babies to play with in order not to get too anxious for my own to finish baking. A little distraction is just what the third trimester woman needs.
I am getting bigger (picture to come soon) and thus a little more uncomfortable... but most uncomfortable with my allergies that have kicked in for the first time since being pregnant. Please pray that no polyps develop so that I can nurse Stella for as long as we want with out having another surgery hanging over our heads. Having surgery with a baby in the house would be a whole new challenge... one that I would rather not have to tackle. In good news... (did I already say this?) she is head down and seems to be right on schedule for delivery!
I will say though, I got a huge compliment today when some one was referring to me and said, "can't you see she's like 4 months pregnant"....hahahahahaha... I said "you mean EIGHT months" and she said, "no way, you are so little... girl you look good!". This pretty much made my day since I hadn't showered or brushed my hair and had just woken up from a nap and was in a huge hurry to get brown sugar for some cookies I had to deliver within the hour... I won't think about the fact that she had no clue what she was talking about since most people aren't showing at all by four months... I'll take the compliment and repeat it to myself when I am faced with stretch marks and clothes that don't fit and a body that looks more alien to me every day. Only 6 weeks to go!

Projects

2009-08-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

I mentioned that now that I am at home more often, I am trying to enhance my craftiness. I still have a long way to go but I did make this little skirt for Stella with a friend the other day. I am excited to see it on her with some little brown leggings. The pattern called for elastic in the waist but neither of us had any so we just made a drawstring waist. It was really simple but a perfect way to decorate plain onesies.

Speaking of crafts, have I mentioned that the girls in my community group are SUPER crafty?! They are all so talented and artistic... I think it must have something to do with the fact that they are all elementary school teachers. Anyway... they threw Stella and me a wonderful baby shower and Stella received some more beautifully hand crafted things.

In baby news, Stella is getting close to 4lbs (or so they say) and is just about full length. We found out last week that she is also "head down", which is a great relief and a small step towards a hopefully smooth labor! Several of my friends, whom I have mentioned, who are pregnant, are getting closer to meeting their babies. One friend, (Bgirl) is 39 weeks and could pop at any moment! She if officially due next weekend, I CANT BELIEVE IT! Just this time last year she and I were both so uncertain when we would ever have babies of our own. Our other friend, who is due only 10 days or so before me actually already went into labor! Sunday she had crazy back pain and it turns out she was having contractions and dilating. They gave her meds to stop the contractions and she is now on bed rest for two weeks. It's definitely a bummer that she is on bed rest but after talking to her we agreed that it is also very exciting to know that if her baby came now, she would more than likely be perfectly healthy. It is exciting to think that we are all getting so close. By the time I get over all of their excitement it will be closer to time to celebrate my own excitement. In the meantime we have plenty to keep us busy around the house! We already shampooed the carpet upstairs and rearranged the furniture to make room for all the baby things. It looks and smells so much nicer up there already! It also helps me get the downstairs ready to have a place to put all our baby things.
So, we are moving right along.
My next project is decorating burp cloths and researching cloth diapers and vaccinations.

Another L

2009-08-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

I found another L word that makes me so happy! the LIBRARY!
I think I might have mentioned that I am (was) totally scared of the Library. It's like going to half priced books but with a lot less friendliness. How do you pick a book out of thousands and thousands? I also have a weird memory of really mean librarians!
So, though I have had many people recommend different things to me from the library, I have never been able to brave the place alone. I hoped to go with a family with kids who could introduce me around the place... but I did mention that I hate to be a burden to other people?
Well, yesterday I decided it was all just too silly. I am a grown woman, about to be a mother and I needed to over come my fear of people and looking stupid. So I played and replayed scenarios in my head about what it would be like to go to the library by myself.. I know, I know, it sounds silly. I got online to make sure that I would have everything required to get a library card with out having to make repeat trips. I checked the map for the closest branch and made sure I knew their hours. Because of the mini flood we had a few weeks ago the main library, downtown, is closed and a lot of the systems are down from water damage.
Today I woke up and rehearsed my plan for attacking the Library. I had lunch with my lovely husband and told him my plan, which he fully supported (probably chuckling at my random fears). Then I went to Hobby Lobby (LOVE that place) and got a few items needed for my craft projects (the ones that I planned to do with the audio books I would get from the library!). I got just about every item I needed for 50% off! woo hoo.
Then I drove over to the library, parked and entered. Luckily, the front desk is right by the door but unluckily there was NO ONE around. I finally found a friendly plump woman behind a computer screen and asked her if she knew how to get a library card. She was actually from the downtown office and thus had no clue where to find the right papers. After asking a few other misplaced librarians some one was found who could give me the forms. I was prepared with all my documents but they only needed my ID (which she took even though it's still not an updated address) and had me fill out a small form with usual information. TADA! I am a library card holder! I went straight for the audio books and picked out "The Red Tent" by Anita Diamant. I have heard my older sister rave about this book time and time again and I think it might even be one of her favorites. It sounded interesting but I just hadn't gotten around to reading it. So, perfect, I am listening to it being read! It's told by the Biblical character of Dinah, Jacob's daughter and she begins by retelling the story of Jacob and his many wives, her mothers/aunts. While the story is definitely embellished quite a bit, it's still very interesting and follows the actual events from Genesis. I also picked up two movies. The great thing about Library movies is that they carry all the movies that I WISH blockbuster carried... and they are FREE for 7 days! I rented two classics, The Mayor of Casterbridge and Sense and Sensibility. I love that they have all the BBC classics and other old favorites... I am saving a few of my favorites for once early labor begins to keep me occupied. It will be so nice to have movies to watch in the evening when I am too tired to get out and Drew is working on the house or out with the guys... plus they aren't really movies he will miss if I watch them without him.
I had forgotten what a wonderful place the Library is. They have just about every book you might desire and you can check them out for almost a month at at time... and with the way I eat through books, that is more than enough time! Right now they don't have a lot of their books b/c of the flood and not having their system up and running to check things in.. but every one I spoke to was so kind and friendly and not a single one treated me like a moron for not knowing my way around or how to reserve a book. I walked over to the children's section and I was flooded by memories I forgot that I had. They had the old school American Girl books on display and I remember being so excited to check out the next one as soon as I finished the one I had. I remember our whole family going to the library on a Saturday in the fall and we each got to check out a book or two. Then we drove around with the windows down in the Suburban and went to a park to play. We played and read and played and read. I even remember what I was reading.... Turn Homeward Hannalee... I think I read that book a million times in elementary school... rotating it only with Sarah Plain and Tall as number one on my list. I can't wait for Stella to read those books too. They had so many brightly illustrated books and learning tools, it just made me smile and want to do little twirly dances around the room. It's such a happy place where imagination learns to grow... I can't believe I stayed away for so long! I am so thankful for parents that taught us to enjoy reading and I can't wait to begin reading to Stella and then hopefully one day see her form a curiosity of her own for stories.
In house news: Drew and our house-working hero, Paul are finishing up the work on the stairs tonight. All that should be left is calking and painting, which we are thinking of hiring a friend to do since I can't handle the fumes and Drew works so much! I keep teasing Paul that he will never talk to us again when this is done but I guess that really isn't the case since he is moving from about 2 miles away to one block away! Now we can just sit on his front porch when we need house help! haha just kidding!
I'll leave you with a picture of the stairs so far and my first finished craft thanks to my new audio book! (I know it's a little early for fall but I couldn't stand to make it and not hang it!) Tomorrow is going to be applique day!