Thursday, June 14, 2012

Numéro deux d'installation

Woah... are you blown away? Installation number two already?!
Now let's see where did we leave off?  Oh yes, printers and printer friends.
At this point I will back our story up a bit and come at you from a different direction.  You know where we were with work but that is only a small part of our lives.
The major part of our lives is/was community.
We believe and strive for Gospel community.
Right when we moved to Louisville and started attending Sojourn we were dropped into an amazing community group.  These people were our home away from home.  We celebrated holidays together, babysat each other's kids (for those that had them) and did life together.  It was pretty easy b/c no one had a lot of kids and the kids were babies and most of us were working part time, going to school and/or staying at home.  So we had time together.  These guys were amazing.
Sadly, our group got really large and we had to multiply and then didn't see each other quite as much.  At the same time, people started graduating from Seminary and thinking about jobs and futures etc etc.  A large part of the group decided to church plant in Texas.
Hmmm... we are from Texas... we truly love these people.... maybe we should go too!
We talked and fiddled our thumbs and talked and joked and ultimately, it just didn't work out.  We were still so attached to our church and didn't feel ready to leave... and I was still in school full time here and south Texas wasn't really our number one ideal place to live (more like dead last).  So we didn't go.
To be honest, there have been multiple times that I look back on that and wish we had gone with those friends.  But I am pretty confident that it just wasn't where we were supposed to be... though it would've been so nice.
But we still had some of the group and were starting a group of our own and meeting new people and trying to make friends and it seemed like the more we tried the more people moved away.
A couple of our dearest friends joined a church plant in the northeast and we considered that move too but in the end we found ourselves here... alone.  Literally, we are the only people from that original group left in Lville.
The next season was a long season of trial and struggle with friends and community.  We were hurting and lonely a lot of the time but still leading and serving.  Then a big trial came and knocked the wind out of us and then Stella was born.  We didn't feel like we even had time to get our legs under us and we were handed this beautiful baby girl.  We were so happy she was here in the midst of a long, hard season of trial.
Then she started crying.... screaming really... and didn't stop for months.  I think I broke.
At the same time Drew took on an extra leadership position at our church and we were asked to lead as community group coaches.  We didn't see it then but oh how clearly I see it now... we were crazy and needed to just say no!
We kept pushing, through sickness, depression, loneliness and sad to say... despair.
When we became coaches we were no longer a part of a community group but leading and helping the leaders of community group.  So we had no one to lift us up it felt at times while we were bearing so many heavy burdens of others.
THANKFULLY!!  God is so so good to us.  Though we were more than likely driven by pride and the need for approval (why else did we overload ourselves so much?) he saw our state and sent us some friends.  Specifically he sent me a friend and mentor who was able to help walk with me through and out of post partum depression.  (not to mention my fabulous OB who kept me sane with perspective)
We stepped out of a lot of leadership and started working on getting back into community!
Oh and Stella finally stopped screaming!  whew.
But it has been a long process.
We finally found a few people like us, in leadership and lacking community and accountability and care and so we became a community group.  We only met every other week and always have a meal.
This idea caught on and more people joined our group and more people started groups like ours.
A couple that joined in on the group was this friend (then more of an acquaintance) that got Drew the printer job. Drew started to become friends with him (that sounds really girly... sorry dudes) and a couple of other guys and we started to hope we would find another close community... then one night we found out... they were all already planning to move to France.  (cue clanging gong).

1 comment:

cal+claire said...

Hard days! But I am so thankful that since I couldn't be physically there with you that you had God and you had Drew!