Sunday, May 8, 2011


What was the original "mother-load" that now causes eyes to bulge and hands to spread to show the magnitude, the intensity? This Mothers' Day I think I have found it, this load on mothers that is so extreme and so weighty and so universal that it has made it's way into pop culture jargon... mother-guilt.
I have yet to find a woman, no matter how old or young, who has grown eyes and skin and bones inside her being or agonized over months of paper work and meticulous training, who is not plagued by the hissing in their ears.
I can't believe you let your child cry in his bed... you are a selfish mother.
I can't believe you let your child sleep in your bed... you aren't tough enough.
You started food to early... or too late.
Your schedule is too lax... or too rigid.
You spank.
You don't spank.
When our children begin to sin, look us in the eye and say NO to God's way...we think... what have we done wrong? What could we have done different?
When a toddler hits you in the face, spits out his dinner and whines through out the store you feel the eyes of others burning into your back... even the eyes of God seem to weigh you down until you collapse, throw up your hands and cry out for HELP!
When children grow and are angry, distant, ungrateful or simply lost a mother looks back... did I spank enough or too much? What about that one time I got angry and had to leave the room... or raised my voice... or gave that look... if I had not done that one thing, would it be different today, this moment?
A mother makes a million decisions a day... what time to get the children up, what should they wear and what's to eat? How do you educate them and love them and discipline them and teach them all the things they need to know before life deals them a hard blow. What day to do the laundry and the shopping and when to play outside and how to stay safe and clean and socialized... what's for dinner and how many veggies have they had today? What about sleep overs and girl friends and boyfriends and church? Family worship, devotionals, bible memorization? What is enough and when is it too much. When to push and when to give? It's exhausting... and when so many decisions are made, it is impossible to feel secure you made them ALL right in any given day. Add to that multiple children and other people's children and then the clincher... SIN!
In the midst of this chaos of mind, it's easy to lose sight of God.
That God who is working all things for your good and His glory.
That God who is making you look more and more like his Son.
That God who knows your child more intimately than you and knows the trials they need to come to Him.
It's not all about you, or them or right now... it's about Him and this plan He has and IS working out... even when dishes lie dirty and laundry mildews in the washer and mom almost loses her cool, again...
His plan is working, molding, sanctifying... and it is good.
So, my present to you moms today and a present to myself... let it go. Work hard for the glory of God and raise open palms to the Lord with the rest and look your children in the eye and say, "I did my best, I was faithful... though a sinner and God has a plan for you!".
God doesn't ask us to save our children or give them a perfect life... he asks us to be faithful to Him
To glorify Him as we shepherd, train, discipline, love and give to God.


The Casabellas said...

Beautiful words! Blessings sweet mother!


Tom & Franny said...


The Santos Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Santos Family said...

Happened to see Rebekah's 'repost' on Facebook. Good word friend. Hope you're doing well in mommyhood!

Anonymous said...

You are growing in your gift.
The only thing I found to assuage mother-guilt or father-guilt is knowing that God loves your husband and his brothers more than we ever could. His grace covers, forgives, heals more than we will ever know.
love to you all
dallas dad

Anonymous said...

You eloquently capture mothers' hearts, and I so appreciate you putting words to the many feelings I have and have had, with your added much-needed encouragement. Thank you for who you are.

cal+claire said...

I'm going to save this and read it later to be reminded of this great truth