Four: the Trip

Deciding to go on the trip was relatively easy it seemed compared to the task of raising $6000 in support to go on the trip.
$6000 is a lot of money... like two months of living expenses, a really nice vacation or several nice vacations, more money than I have seen in cash ever before!
I really had basically no faith that we would actually be able to raise the money.  None of our friends or family are rich and honestly we don't have a ton of friends to even ask!
Thankfully our community group really called me out on my lack of belief.  They encouraged me to ask boldly from the Lord and from others and to trust the money would all come together.
So we took some family pictures, wrote letters, addressed envelopes, prayed and sent out about fifty support letters.
The funny thing about the letters... there were people we knew had money or knew loved missions that we were pretty sure would support us and then there were other people that we just wanted to keep updated on what was going on with us, who we would be thrilled if they could give $10 or just prayer.
However, when money started to come in, we were surprised over and over again at the generosity of people we never expected to give.  Family and friends both sacrificially gave to our mission trip and I was humbled again and again.  I can't tell you in words how thankful I was to the Lord for providing and to our friends and family for being so willing to join with us for this crazy journey.
Another awesome fact of the fund raising is that we had one specific deadline halfway through and got just enough money right before it was due.  Then there was a long period where we didn't get anything at all.  We were thankful for reaching the half way goal and were prepared to use tax refunds or savings for the rest and then the week before the final amount was due people generously stepped up again and we met our entire goal right in time.  Not a minute too soon but not a second late!
I am still in awe of how good my heavenly Father is and that even raising this money was a part of His plan to help me trust in Him for an even bigger plan.
We are also blessed with two sets of parents that helped us keep SJ while we were gone.  They are true champions (though I think they would gladly kick us out to keep SJ any time).
Leaving SJ was an even bigger fear for me than the money issue.  However, SJ did amazing.  We started talking about the trip just a few days before we left (we tried earlier but she didn't get it at all) and she was great with it and excited for her gparents to arrive.
However, two night before the trip she started screaming in the mornings for her mommy and I was pretty sure that was her little mind trying to cope with mommy leaving and a little spiritual warfare mixed in too perhaps.  It was so hard on my heart and then right as we were leaving she started crying that she wanted to go with us.  My heart actually broke I think.  I almost completely lost it and thankfully my mother-in-law stepped in to cheer SJ up about going to the park etc and so she was fine and then so was I.  I figured I would lose it after she left but I didn't.  My heart was totally at peace.  I knew she was happy and loved and going to have a blast and I was so thankful to be on this journey with Drew.
Praise God, she didn't wake up crying a single time while we were gone and never melted down for mommy or daddy but was then SUPER excited when we came back and was all love and cuddles for a few days.

So, we were paid up and loaded up and in the air... ready to meet France!

Scene Three

So, here we are, finally making a few new friends and whack... they hit us with the news that they are all (two couples really) planning to move to France in the future.
Honestly, when Drew and I talked about this I think we both (but definitely me) really thought about just dropping these friends.  Of course we would still be friends with them and do community group with them but we wouldn't really invest or dive in or seek them out for deep relationships, knowing they would just leave.
But that didn't really work because we really liked these couples and we saw them on a regular basis and you couldn't help but become a little attached.  We got to see each couple have a baby (or two) and then watch those little ones grow and change.  Drew got to know one of them men better at work and then the guys started cycling together.  They just weren't going away!  haha
I think a few times they mentioned to Drew, "you guys should just come to France" or something along those lines.  But it was always with out any real pressure and mostly joking it seemed.  So we just laugh, "yea...right.".
However, we had also started talking about all of the opportunities we had had in the past and all those we hadn't had as well.  Drew had been actively seeking out jobs in the Christian camping world and though in my eyes he is overly qualified and perfect for every position he applied for... door after door were closed.  He seriously made it to #2 on a  number of jobs and then they'd give it to some one else.  Super discouraging.  So, after a trip to the camp to talk to some people in person and still no open doors, we decided that maybe we needed to pick a new dream to pursue because it seemed God just wasn't letting us get into the camp world.
Shortly after some discussions along those lines and more talks about dreaming big and trusting God, our church announced they were going to have several summer mission trips and that one of them was to Southern France.
Hmmmm....
We were just talking about maybe sort of slightly thinking about maybe seeing what it might be like to almost kind of look into what our friends were thinking about France.. maybe.
So, what better way to check it out than to GO?
But, no.
We don't have that kind of money.
We've always wanted to go on a mission trip but going to France seemed like a pretty lame place to go on a mission trip to (shows what we knew).
Also, I'm not sure what I think about short term missions.
I have friends (well I think they are my friends b/c I blog stalk them) who were missionaries in Haiti and they really talked about how short term missions can be a waste of money that could be put to better use and how they often are more detrimental to the people and culture than helpful.  She is actually having a whole discussion about this now so check out Heather Hendrick in my blogroll.
Then there was the fact that they were encouraging only future missionaries to go on the trip and we had noooo idea if that is what we would be led to do and we weren't even leaning one way or the other.
Plus, we are goobers and not super spiritual, holy amazing missionary type.  We are sin every day, barely remember to tell ourselves the gospel much less tell any one else... trying to survive people.
Thankfully, we met with the guy who overseas missions at our church and was leading this trip and we were very upfront and honest with him about who we are and what are motives are etc etc.
He straight up told us, we were exactly what they were looking for.
I'd say their standards are pretty low but I will also say, I was flooded with a sense of peace.
No one was deceived about who we are.
We could be ourselves.  Be real.  And be accepted and welcomed on the short term team.
So, we went from pretty positively NOT going on the trip to filling out a CRAZY LONG application overnight and turning it in at the last second of the deadline.
Whew.
So... we were going to France for 10 days.
We had no idea what to expect from the place, the people or the trip but we were going completely open.
We figured we had nothing to lose b/c at the very least we would know how to better pray for our friends going long term and we could encourage the current missionaries there.
At the very best we might find God's next step for the plan he is working out for us.

Numéro deux d'installation

Woah... are you blown away? Installation number two already?!
Now let's see where did we leave off?  Oh yes, printers and printer friends.
At this point I will back our story up a bit and come at you from a different direction.  You know where we were with work but that is only a small part of our lives.
The major part of our lives is/was community.
We believe and strive for Gospel community.
Right when we moved to Louisville and started attending Sojourn we were dropped into an amazing community group.  These people were our home away from home.  We celebrated holidays together, babysat each other's kids (for those that had them) and did life together.  It was pretty easy b/c no one had a lot of kids and the kids were babies and most of us were working part time, going to school and/or staying at home.  So we had time together.  These guys were amazing.
Sadly, our group got really large and we had to multiply and then didn't see each other quite as much.  At the same time, people started graduating from Seminary and thinking about jobs and futures etc etc.  A large part of the group decided to church plant in Texas.
Hmmm... we are from Texas... we truly love these people.... maybe we should go too!
We talked and fiddled our thumbs and talked and joked and ultimately, it just didn't work out.  We were still so attached to our church and didn't feel ready to leave... and I was still in school full time here and south Texas wasn't really our number one ideal place to live (more like dead last).  So we didn't go.
To be honest, there have been multiple times that I look back on that and wish we had gone with those friends.  But I am pretty confident that it just wasn't where we were supposed to be... though it would've been so nice.
But we still had some of the group and were starting a group of our own and meeting new people and trying to make friends and it seemed like the more we tried the more people moved away.
A couple of our dearest friends joined a church plant in the northeast and we considered that move too but in the end we found ourselves here... alone.  Literally, we are the only people from that original group left in Lville.
The next season was a long season of trial and struggle with friends and community.  We were hurting and lonely a lot of the time but still leading and serving.  Then a big trial came and knocked the wind out of us and then Stella was born.  We didn't feel like we even had time to get our legs under us and we were handed this beautiful baby girl.  We were so happy she was here in the midst of a long, hard season of trial.
Then she started crying.... screaming really... and didn't stop for months.  I think I broke.
At the same time Drew took on an extra leadership position at our church and we were asked to lead as community group coaches.  We didn't see it then but oh how clearly I see it now... we were crazy and needed to just say no!
We kept pushing, through sickness, depression, loneliness and sad to say... despair.
When we became coaches we were no longer a part of a community group but leading and helping the leaders of community group.  So we had no one to lift us up it felt at times while we were bearing so many heavy burdens of others.
THANKFULLY!!  God is so so good to us.  Though we were more than likely driven by pride and the need for approval (why else did we overload ourselves so much?) he saw our state and sent us some friends.  Specifically he sent me a friend and mentor who was able to help walk with me through and out of post partum depression.  (not to mention my fabulous OB who kept me sane with perspective)
We stepped out of a lot of leadership and started working on getting back into community!
Oh and Stella finally stopped screaming!  whew.
But it has been a long process.
We finally found a few people like us, in leadership and lacking community and accountability and care and so we became a community group.  We only met every other week and always have a meal.
This idea caught on and more people joined our group and more people started groups like ours.
A couple that joined in on the group was this friend (then more of an acquaintance) that got Drew the printer job. Drew started to become friends with him (that sounds really girly... sorry dudes) and a couple of other guys and we started to hope we would find another close community... then one night we found out... they were all already planning to move to France.  (cue clanging gong).

Pictures to Match

I guess I was a little too long winded in that first installation... here are some of the views we had in France that I wanted to post with it....

Bonjour!

Here we are! Back from France... (sorry.. blogger won't let me add photos) All I can think to say right now is: Wow. Wow God. Many of you who read this blog were also a part of the updates we sent out... or mostly Drew sent out. So I don't want to bore every one with the details. Over the next few months this blog will more than likely be dominated by the word France. I want to document all the Lord has done and will do as we journey through this France thing. So for my sake, more than yours, I am going to start at the semi beginning and process this journey on the blog... it is also so that I can have this conversation with you all at once instead of repeating the whole process again and again b/c honestly sometimes I just can't share it all again.. it can wear me out! This way most of you who care will get the basics here and can then ask questions or for specifics as they come up! And if you know of people interested in our story you have a clear place to send them. So... here we go... installation #1. How far back do we go? Once Upon A Time.... We have been living in Louisville for what will be six years this October. Louisville was a surprise... like the kind of surprise when some one gets you something NOT on your Christmas List but is the best present you got and just what you needed. Who goes to Kentucky? Who wants to live in Kentucky? That's what we thought coming to this place. We will get some schooling, spread our wings and then we're gone. But then we fell in love. We fell in love with four seasons and trees and the small town feel in the midst of a city life. Most of all we fell in love with our church. So we settled down and prepared to stay. We have been holding our mouths open to the fire hydrant for five years... soaking up everything our church and community had to offer. Taking every class or training possible... trying to learn and grow in the gospel as much as possible. However, in the midst of all of this amazing community and spiritual growth there was a big thorn. In order to stay in this city we love Drew was having to sacrifice every day. He worked for years at ERAC and I can safely say it was mostly miserable. The Lord totally blessed his time there and he was very successful in getting promotion after promotion and the Lord made it painfully obvious that that is exactly where he wanted Drew to be... but it was hard. It was long hours with little pay and even less respect. It was suits and ties and rules and regulations and paying dues to "the man" every day. It was hard. For the first few years we applied to other jobs in Louisville and every thing that seemed promising fell through. But we weren't really willing to leave and so we just stuck it out. Then, in the last couple of years we finally felt like we could let go of Louisville if it meant Drew could have a job that was a better fit for him. So we applied and applied and absolutely nothing has worked out. That was maybe harder (for me at least). Why God? What is going on? This is so unfair. We have watched friend after friend get their dream job and yet we felt that our job situation was getting worse and worse. We prayed and prayed and begged God for a new job and a better fit... we will go ANYWHERE! Drew finally got another job, by no means a dream job but at least fewer hours and we were praying for confirmation if this in fact was where we were supposed to go and then out of no where... right after Drew got the offer from the new job he was fired from ERAC... Fired? WHAT?!?! They should be groveling at his feet for working two jobs for the price of one and always working hard when every one else slacked off and patiently waiting for that promised raise etc etc... It was shady and unjust and unexpected and yet... so freeing. I felt incredible joy the moment I found out Drew was fired. I felt so secure knowing that God knew we needed an answer loud and clear that we were finally released from our time at ERAC... So our time began at the new job.. selling printers. Not much more glamourous than selling cars but Drew got to see his daughter every day... a luxury he didn't have before and he had a friend at work who loves Jesus and went to our church, who we are even in community group with now... another luxury. Little did we know.....

France

Well, our France trip is finally here. Not exactly but pretty much. We have every day planned between now and take off and so I know it will fly by. Praise the Lord, the giver of all good things! We have officially been gifted the entire amount of our trip... that is $6000. I had a really hard time believing that we would be able to raise that much support. If that is the amount given in dollars.. I hope the amount of prayer given is ten fold! We feel extremely blessed by all of our family and friends who gave so generously and sacrificially. People we never expected to give gave over and above. We are truly thankful. We will be flying from Louisville Airport to Philadelphia where we will get to see two dear friends during our layover. I am just as excited to see their faces as I am about going to France. Then we fly over night to Paris, France and from Paris to Marseille. We will spend three days in Marseille and then travel to either Nimes or Montpellier, where we will spend a couple of days and then head to which ever we haven't been to yet and then back to Marseille. We will be ministering to and working with several missionaries on the ground in that area as well as trying to meet with businesses and get a feel for the cities in order to report back to the long-term team that is hoping to move there to do business and help start churches. I am so excited and yet with so many things to do between now and then it almost seems unreal. I still need to pack and do laundry and cook and clean and and and.... Most of all I am soaking up every single moment with Stella. We are going to parks and reading tons of books and eating all her favorite foods so that we can savor happy moments together before we depart. For her part, she could not be more excited for Susie, and Gigi and Gigi's Papa to come and stay with her while mommy and daddy are gone. We are planning to leave her some fun surprises too so she will know mommy and daddy are thinking of her and love her. Ten days is a long time. It hurts my heart to even think about it. One major thing that caused a little hiccup for me and some of the other ladies is dress code. We were told knee length skirts with t-shirts would be fine and then it became long skirts with long shirts and what at first seemed like a million other details. This threw a big wrench in my getting ready mode. So, I've been sewing skirts and dresses and trying to find deals on long skirts (thank goodness they are in fashion right now) and I still have no clue about the shirt situation. I'm thinking t-shirts with cardigans just in case. I'm also trying to figure out what shoes to wear. I know it sounds trivial to care about clothing when you are going to preach the gospel but when all you are taking is a backpack for ten days... everything you pack has to be appropriate and durable and useful. We will more than likely be on our feet from morning til night so I also don't want something as silly as shoes to be distracting. If you are praying for us please pray for our health as we travel. We have both had minor health issues lately but mine seem to be compiling. Currently I have a double sinus infection and a back problem. Please also pray for Stella and our parents as they take care of her. Pray for opportunities to share the gospel and boldness to do so with love and care. Just pray for us! I am so excited to get there and see what it is really like and see how the Lord moves through this trip! And for your viewing pleasure... more pictures of the two and a half year old!

Two and a Half

Next month Stella will be two and a half. I probably won't have time to write then and so I'm going ahead and updating you all on her now.
Stella is 40 inches tall and weighs a little over 35lbs. According to the internet, that's about the stats of an average 4-5 year old!
She wears 3T and 4T clothing and a size 9 shoe.

Our girl is a talker! I can't even remember all of the cute things she says and does because there are so many! We are really enjoying this stage in her growth because she is so fun loving and interactive.
Some of the funny things she is saying these days...
When referring to Drew and me she always calls us "You guys".
So a recent conversation went like this,
"Where we going you guys?"
"Do you want to go to Costco?"
"Perfect!!!"
(after a minute) "Let's go you guys!"
Stella loves to go on outings. As noted in the conversation above... every morning when she wakes up she says "where are we going" or "what doin'"? If I say that we don't have any thing to do today or aren't going anywhere she gets a sad look on her face and says "but I slept a long time!". Apparently good sleep earns fun outings.
And good sleep there is! Stella is sleeping from 730/8pm to 9/930am and taking a 2-3 hour nap most days. Every now and then we'll hear her talking and singing through out her whole nap.
Stella is also a really good mimic. She has very well behaved dolls too. Today while on a walk I heard her tell her babies in the stroller not to ask to get out and not to fuss. Later she told them they had to say hi to people that passed because it was sweet, kind and nice. HAHA. Those are obviously two lessons we are learning right now.
Every morning SJ wakes up with "friends" in her bed and they are always her friends in real life... with the occasional Bible character thrown in. Sometimes Moses is in there with a paci or Jonah and water and always Layne... her current BFF. They go with us in the car and on the couch and in the bed. They always have an imaginary paci too. She is also usually accompanied by her pretend phone in her pretend pocket and she calls her friends, their moms and her daddy a lot. It usually sounds like this...
"HEY! Yea. Ummm. Yea. Yea. We going to _____. Yea. Ok. Bye."
Another common phrase we hear is "cuz?" and when that gets no response she says "may I please ask why?". I had no idea the "why" phase would come this early!!
SJ loves sunglasses but hates if the sun is shining in her face.
She loves to play at Pottery Barn Kids with the jogging stroller, babies and big girl desk and kitchen.

(busy getting work done at PBK)
We love to walk and play at the playground a lot too. Slides are the current favorite.
Stella also had her first admirer the other day at the playground. This little boy from our church followed her with in inches at all times and even attached himself to her going down the slide. He would throw a ball to her and if she didn't catch it, her friend Layne would grab it. When this happened the little boy would cry to his mom, "I don't want to play with THAT girl... I want to play with THAT (SJ) girl!". It was so so so hilarious. Stella was definitely playing hard to get. The attention sort of freaked her out.
SJ also loves to do "exercises", which consist of push ups, crunches and arm circles and sometimes high knees.
Her favorite foods are still basically the same... mac n cheese, avocado, sweet potato, bread, pizza, pouches, any crunchy salty food, apple sauce and yogurt.
Stella also LOVES to sing. She tries to pick up on the words to any song. She can sing pretty much all the words to an entire kids praise CD, Oh No You Never Let Go, Jesus Loves Me, ABCs and a few choice elmo songs. She likes to make up songs too. I love to hear her singing to herself while she takes care of her babies or when she is in her own world in the back seat of the car.
We are also in the do it yourself phase. She can put on her own shoes, help get dressed (and pick out the clothes), get in her carseat and booster seat and help buckle, get her milk from the fridge, and feed herself most foods.
Our girl is not a baby any more but we are really loving our big girl!