...It Pours

With the coming of Spring, comes rain... and for us it has been more than just a literal down pour.
Have I mentioned this year has been rough? Yes? Well, it has. Starting about this time last year things just got a little sticky. Relationships were messy, I was pregnant (though I loved being pregnant there were some bumps along the way), Drew was still (and is still) stuck at a job he less than enjoys...etc etc.... there was just a lot going on. Those things began to let up just the slightest bit and beautiful SJ was born. Her birth was a little less than ideal as far as timing and fashion go but we were glad to have her. However, once she was born my body began to change... yes it got smaller (praise the Lord) but it also got a lot sadder. I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with all the information I had ingested while pregnant and now had to put to use. Overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility heaped on my shoulders. Overwhelmed by visitors I wanted to host properly but then was overwhelmed by sleep. Oh, it was overwhelming. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of anxiety and sadness and I could see every one on the shore waving at me and telling me to swim but no one could get in the water and teach me to swim. Thankfully the Lord dove in. In the midst of this, SJ became overwhelmed herself with colic and reflux and screamed for the next two months almost non stop. Oh my. Then just as things were getting a little better we flew to Texas for a few weeks and had tons of crazy travel and late nights etc etc. Though it was fun... it was still hard on top of everything else. Then Drew took a major hit in the job department and we felt like we were at rock bottom... no a little lower than that because we definitely felt rocks on top of us too. We just felt like we hadn't had a chance to catch our breath since April. Whew. We weren't sad to see 2009 go by.
In January I thought we were seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. My anxiety and sadness were disappearing thanks to the wonderful power of the Lord and his Spirit working in me (and thanks to the helping hands he sent on earth to challenge me and turn me to him again and again). I let go of so much mommy stress and let Stella just grow into who she was going to be and she started evening out a little too. Drew's work was still the same but at least there was some routine established there. Then the colds came. I started feeling a little icky and got onto tackling it but before I knew it Drew was sick (he rarely gets sick) and he just hasn't really gotten over it since! He will get sick and mend just enough over the weekend or day off that he gets only to turn back to work and fall into it all again. Then he got a stomach bug and had to miss the baby dedication on top of all that and Stella started teething and this was getting me a little down again. Ok, maybe more than a little.
Drew got better just in time to celebrate his birthday last weekend (thanks for every one who came, it made it so great to have so many loving faces greet him) and then wham...bam...slap... I woke up Monday morning with a bad bad feeling... you know it, the tossing and turning of the stomach that can only mean one very bad thing. I laid very still and prayed not to throw up... a request granted to me at a very very high and frequent cost (if you get my drift)... and then ungranted (if that's a word) at about 6pm at which time I began to throw up every thing left in me... most of it still recognizable... sick. I HATE TO THROW UP. I will do almost anything to not throw up... so after an already long and hard day of losing my contents, this was torture. Drew had to take off two more days in order to take care of Stella and me b/c I could not do a single thing but moan... I literally couldn't even cry (though I wanted to) because I felt like that would be wasting any hydration I had left to nurse Stella with.
Finally yesterday I felt better enough (with some help from friends) for Drew to return to work. He got home and our neighbor comments that we have a flat tire (again)... they try to air it up... no go.. .it's a hole. So Drew comes in and takes the other car to get me some soup (b/c I still couldn't stand long enough to cook) and after he comes out with the food the car won't start... and he forgot his phone... and my phone is on silent b/c I'm wrestling, I mean nursing SJ in the other room....
CAN WE ALL JUST LAUGH NOW?!?!?!
I mean seriously... I could keep going but really, let's just all laugh at how absurd this is getting!
Oh wait... just one more thing... then... today... we had our roof redone
hahah ho ho ho ho hehehe... if you have ever had this done you are laughing with me b/c you understand how hilarious it is for a recovering sick woman with a small baby to be stranded at home with no car and with vaulted ceilings and hard wood floors while her roof is being redone.... hahaha ho ho... it hurts really... oh my.
Ok, seriously. Back to the point.
I am seriously laughing... I'm really not bitter (tired yes, but seriously not being sarcastic!). The Lord has done a lot of growing, pruning and refining in our lives during this last year and especially during this last month. I had a loving friend rescue me from my house today with a car seat for SJ and everything. I have had countless people pray for us, bring us meals, send encouraging words and just hang out. Hey, we got a new roof out of the deal for only the cost of our copay! I am launching into a healthier lifestyle for our family. I still have milk to offer SJ after 3 days of no food or drink.
The Lord is sovereign and so gracious to us. He is soooo long suffering with my constant sin and rebellion. He is full of ever lasting loving kindness and I am so so thankful that he has given me so many worldly comforts and yet also loves me enough to discipline me and refine me. I don't know when the light at the end of the tunnel will be the present and though I long for that day, I am also overjoyed to think about the woman I will be because of all he has led me through instead of continuing to be the woman I was forever (worrying, comparing, stressed, perfectionist).
So let's laugh and all say that it is so so very true that for the Lewisi... when it rains, it pours!

Great News

One of my favorite bloggers is offering a free giveaway from Lime Ricki bathing suits. These are THE CUTEST, MODEST....let's say that again... CUTE AND MODEST bathing suits I have ever seen. I wanted one last summer but was huge pregnant so I held my breath and waited until this summer... the day I was going to purchase one I saw she would be hosting a giveaway and/or promo code for a discount so I waited a little longer and here it is... I'm only sharing this with you b/c of my selfish desire for another entry... not b/c I want you to win it (just being honest hahaha)... b/c I want me to win it... however, since I NEVER win things, I would be happier if some one I knew won... so go ahead and check it out... here's the link
Even if you don't do the giveaway you should check out Lime Ricki online... I'm going to get the Claire top (I mean it's name is Claire, my sis' name... and it's cute!)
In other news, I am sick sick sick and have been since monday (you don't want the details, trust me).
Today is the first day I've been able to even sit up for more than a few minutes with out dire consequences and a friend just took SJ and so I'm actually headed back to bed.
Please be praying for us that we will all get well and that SJ will be spared from any sickness from her parents.

Happy 28th!

Today is the 28th birthday of the man that I adore.
I can honestly say that Drew is the largest blessing that I have ever received (and I don't mean physical stature)! Drew has such a caring heart and a desire to help others in any way he can. He is known to empty his pockets for those in need and is deeply hurt when those around him are hurting. The hubs is also pretty hilarious and can be seen on any given day cracking up his wife and daughter with many a dance move or funny accent. Over the last three years I have been so privileged to watch the Lord grow Drew as the leader of our home and in our church. I have seen him go from the quiet listener (which he often still is) to the shepherd who isn't afraid to preach it! Drew works tirelessly at a pretty thankless job in order to provide for his babes and he has been honored and respected there too (as evident by his many promotions). I know the Lord has good things in store for Drew and I am looking forward to the end of a very hard season in our lives and hopefully a little more sunshine in his 29th year of life!
Please be praying for Drew that the Lord would continue to grow him through out this next year of life. Please pray for his health (he's been sick on and off for over a month now) and that the Lord would provide a new opportunity for a job where he can glorify the Lord and use his passions/talents.
Feel free to leave a word of encouragement to Drew in the comments!

Baby Dedication

Here's the video of the baby dedication... more background story to come... Drew wasn't there b/c he was really sick all weekend.
Don't watch this if you are bored easily... it's mostly for family who couldn't attend.

Baby Dedication from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

Cereal Footage

Cereal from Lindsey Lewis on Vimeo.

we've gotten a lot better at this since then.... 5 months tomorrow!

Spring!

It's officially Spring in my world!

Thank you gma Susie for making Spring such a wonderful reality.
Just after SJ was born Drew's parents came to visit and catch a glimpse of their first grandbaby. While they were here Gma S dug out all the weeds in the flower bed by the stairs and planted some flowers. I had no idea what she planted (too tired to care at the time) and so when little green shoots began to spring from the ground I started to get excited! This week our daffodils are in full bloom... they are the first daffodils I have seen in our neighborhood or around town! They really make our home so much brighter. Then today our little tree started blooming pink and white flowers all over! We are in the process of digging up the bush version of that same tree on the other side of the yard in order to plant our garden! We got Drew and axe for his birthday so he can finish the bush off. I am planning on tomatoes and zucchini for sure. I also planted some basil, cilantro and spinach in the other little flower bed gma S dug up by the porch! Yay for Spring and fresh flowers, herbs and veggies. I can't wait to see if they will grow. I purchased a beautiful black, white and pink watering can... I'm sure that the plants will want to grow even more once they realize they are being watered from a pretty watering can. =)
Tomorrow SJ is being dedicated at our church. I am so excited and hope to post video of the dedication after it happens. We got SJ the cutest little dress that will double as her Easter dress (it was about $10!). It's brown with pink polka dots and pink leggings to match! She is seriously cute. In other SJ news... she is still growing like a weed... now in 6-9mo. clothes! We are realizing more and more that we are going to have a hard time keeping this one in clothes... she outgrows them so fast and we don't have much from here on out... I'm keeping my eye on sales (we also accept donations =) ). I think that SJ is also at the very beginning of the teething process (another milestone I am not ready for!). If you put your finger in her mouth she will bite on it instead of sucking on it most of the time. She is drooling even more than before (who knew this was possible) and has been eating less and a little grumpy. I don't feel anything for sure yet but it seems like that might be around the next corner. She is still so much fun and full of smiles though. She is also getting better and better at sitting up on her own and is able to roll over to either side from her back (she can roll all the way over but refuses to do it any more). She will be 5months old this week! So little and yet so big!
Here's a sneak peek at a photo shoot that will be used for gma presents and the baby dedication....



**photo credit to Bethan Rogers**

Rice Cereal

So, remember when I said I needed to brace myself for the fact that I might need to start SJ on rice cereal before I would like to? Well, I was right. Our doctor suggested at four months that we start some rice cereal. I thought about it and decided, "no thank you"... at least for now. SJ is growing great, which makes me want to continue to nurse until there is a more substantial need. Plus, there is just this stigma that good nursing moms don't start solids until the latest possible date. I've got to get these things out of my head!
Well, last week SJ finished her one month round of Prevacid and we were still hearing lots of wheezing/gurgling sounds from her as well as other signs of reflux. We are not sure if her naps are also influenced by the reflux but she is still irregular about taking good naps. So I called to ask the doctor what to do and he asked the dreaded questions, "have you started the rice cereal"... ummm, well, nooo. So, he told us he really wanted us to try it just to see if it would help keep the reflux down. So, dragging my feet... we tried it this weekend. I needed Drew for moral support. I made it per the directions and it was really soupy. She didn't even eat a teaspoons' worth. We also had to switch from the bumbo to the bouncy seat b/c she isn't great at sitting up and focusing on eating.
I will admit, I was relieved she didn't love the stuff and continues to spit it out as fast as I can drip it in. I'm trying to give her about half a tablespoon in the morning and in the late afternoon but we have yet to finish that much even. I also got the doctor to refill the prescription with the agreement that it might take a while (cough cough... another month..) for her to really take the cereal... or anything enough to actually help with the reflux. So I'm giving her half a dose of meds and a few sips of cereal and hoping to wait until closer to six months to actually dive into this "solids" stuff full force.
I'm also thinking that when we do start solids we will skip pureed foods for the most part... I've give them to her some (maybe once a day) but then we're going to just let her start with squishy solids and see how that goes. Or so, that's my plan for now. It's from a book called baby-led weaning that I read about and just ordered from Amazon.
It's amazing how much I was looking forward to solid foods when I was dealing the the nursing strike and other complications and now that it's here I am dragging my feet. It is hard to see my baby hitting such a huge milestone already! I didn't think it would be as emotional a decision as it has been! I'm still looking forward to seeing her grow and develop and enjoy new foods but I am happy to wait another month or so b/c I will never have these exclusively nursing days back.
So, here's a video of SJ and her first cereal experience and then a picture that completely explains why I am reluctant to give up any nursing time with my baby. Enjoy!
*** Sorry, I've been trying to upload this video for HOURS and it still isn't processed... I need some one to teach me a better way to upload videos on here. Enjoy the picture instead!